UK time is: 01:44:58
Vital Login
Social Login

Choose your club

Other Sites

Network Navigation

Vital Partners

'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Hercs In The Dressing Room Before The Big Semi

*We join the lads gearing up for their semi-final clash against Chelsea*

MON: Ah I love a semi.

*The dressing room erupts with laughter.*

MON: Alright settle down you filthy lot.

Collins: Oh My God! What're we going to do!? We can't do anything against the Chelsea machine! We're doomed!

*Collins grabs MON by both sides of his tracksuit jacket and screams hysterically in his face*

Collins: Doomed!!!

*Petrov adjusts the captain's armband and slaps Collins about the face*

Petrov: Get a hold of yourself! They are but men!

*Collins ashamedlely lowers his head*

Collins: I'm sorry captain ... I shall issue an apology via Twitter at once.

Petrov: I don't use Twitter, it's weird.

*a grinning Delph slaps Collins*

Delph: Get a hold of yourself!

Collins: Ow! I already had a hold of myself!

Delph: Yeah ... Right ... Sorry.

*MON has a knowing glint in his eye and a wry smile*

Dunne: What's with tha knowin' glint in yer eye dere bass?

Cuellar: Och an ye wee, wry smile?

MON: Easter lads, Frank Lampard will no doubt have stuffed himself to a stupour, look at him.

*MON hits a notice board with his pointer there is a picture of Frank Lampard in action with a '+' sign, then a picture of a foil wrapped easter egg, then an '=' sign then a picture MON jumping for joy*

MON: He has the look of a man partial to a chocolate egg or two does he not? This will exponentially slow him down. Pah! John Terry dared question our discipline and it will be theirs which will be their undoing!

*The lads slowly hide the eggs they have been scoffing throughout the team talk, Ashley Young is sliding an egg underneath his chair with his foot*

A.Young: Great plan boss.

*Cuellar is dusting Cadbury's Flake from his beard*

Cuellar: Aye, brillian'.

*NRC enters, he's beaming and casually eating an easter egg*

NRC: Hey guys great news, the physio says I'm fit to play and .... Why's everyone looking at me like that?

MON: You always have to defy me don't you Nigel?

NRC: Defy you? What ... You want some easter egg?

*The room falls silent and uncomfortable as MON seeths with rage, NRC puts one cupped hand to his mouth and addresses the lads*

NRC (whispering): Is he diabetic?

*Delph breaks the silence slapping Collins*

Delph: Get a hold of yourself!

Collins: I said I'm fine!




Use your social login to comment on front page articles. Login using you Facebook, Twitter, Google or LinkedIn accounts and have your say!



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Friday April 9 2010

Time: 12:14PM

Your Comments

MON: He has the look of a man partial to a chocolate egg or two does he not? gold
intox
Good to read that Hercs is in fine form on the eve of our Cup semi-final, nerves not effecting or restricting his humour. Looking forward to reading your take on the post game dressing room celebrations Hercs, after we've seen off John Terry and co.
glensider
'Great plan boss!"
FootyFans
A great pass by A Young there slipping in the easter egg, lol. Well done Hercs.
holte ender 1969
Nice one Hercs, laughed my t*ts off!
Charizma
 

Have Your Say

Log in...
with your social network     OR     with your Vital account

Recent Articles

Vlaar - We Still Need A Win (Saturday April 19 2014)

Lambert Hails Huge Southampton Point (Saturday April 19 2014)

U21 Manchester City Clash Set (Saturday April 19 2014)

Stats: Aston Villa v Southampton (Saturday April 19 2014)

Something For The Weekend (459) (Friday April 18 2014)

Deeney In, Helenius Out? (Thursday April 17 2014)

Lambert Upbeat Ahead Of Saints Clash (Thursday April 17 2014)

Archived Articles

List All Vital Villa Articles
Have your say
Click here to suggest an article
Click here to suggest a poll

Vital Members League (view all)

1. Pride of Lions 913
2. The Fear 787
3. ClivetheVillan 328
4. Barney2004 250
5. Villan57 230
6. Villan Of The North 207
7. BlackCountry Villa 195
8. tarzan 194
9. sirdennis 192
10. Sussex Villan 186

League Results (view all)

League Table (view table)

Team P W D L GD Pts
12. West Ham 35 10 7 18 -10 37
13. Swansea 35 9 9 17 -4 36
14. Hull City 33 10 6 17 -6 36
15. Aston Villa 34 9 8 17 -14 35
16. WBA 33 6 15 12 -11 33
17. Norwich 34 8 8 18 -27 32
18. Cardiff 35 7 9 19 -34 30

Breaking League News

Monk's Reaction After Vital Newcastle Win
Swansea : 19/04/2014 22:00:00
Pardew: We Should Have Won Against Swansea
Swansea : 19/04/2014 21:56:00
Mel - A Good Week Of Training
WBA : 19/04/2014 21:24:00
Finishing Annoys Pochettino
Southampton : 19/04/2014 21:05:00
Duo In PFA Nominations
Southampton : 19/04/2014 20:53:00
Pulis - We Don't Get The Credit We Deserve
Crystal Palace : 19/04/2014 20:34:00
Ole - Soft Penalty Galvanised Us
Cardiff : 19/04/2014 20:12:00

Current Site Poll (view all polls)

Southampton MotM
Suggested By:  MF
Guzan 10%
Bacuna 2%
Bertrand 2%
Westwood 7%
Vlaar 7%
Baker 0%
El Ahmadi 2%
Delph 2%
Agbonlahor 0%
Albrighton 68%
Weimann 0%
Sub - Holt 0%
Sub - Robinson 0%