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'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Hercs In The Dressing Room After The Bolton Match

*We join the lads celebrating their victory over Bolton*

Downing: ..an' I said, Zat I dinnae care if ya 18ft man, I'll put me foot in ya face ya great streak of...

*MON enters, the lads all quieten down and take their seats*

MON: I trust we've all calmed down after that little fracas.

*Delph is pouting with his arms folded, he kicks the chair in front of him.*

Heskey: Hey! You chipped the paint on my 'No Goal' chair!

MON: Fabian, I know you're upset at being subbed but I'm rotating, I need to test the whole team.

Delph: It's not that boss, I missed the fight at the end, why couldn't we have a dust up at the beginning or half way through or ....

*Delph is interrupted by Collins' shouting*

Collins: Ow, Ow, Ow! Look just quit it will you? the match is over!

*Kevin Davies stops hitting the back of Collins' head with his elbow*

K.Davies: What? I thought you 'relished the physical challenge'.

Collins: Well I don't 'relish the physical challenge' that's just some cliche commentaters spew for big defenders, I'm a man of culture, I like fine music, the arts.

K.Davies: What like martial arts? Hiiiii Yaaaaaah!

*Kevin Davies karate chops Collins on the shoulder.*

Collins: Ow! No!....... That's it!

*Collins Presses Davies above his head*

K.Davies: Hey! Put me down! I'm not fouling, I mean, I'm english I was just 'putting myself about a bit'

*Collins launches him out of the dressing room, Davies stands, pleads to an invisible referree then makes his way to the Bolton dressing room elbowing every passer-by on the way*

MON: Ah, it's just like they say, a win after such a heavy defeat shows the resiliance and fortitude of a manager.

A.Young: You mean of a team boss?

MON: Now now Ashley, there's no 'I' in team and afterall 'I' masterminded this victory. Me having the foresight to play you, that's what won us this match.

A.Young: You always play me!

MON: You see, excellent management, James great match out there today, consistent as always.

Collins: Thanks boss.

MON: Not you...James Milner.

*MON points*

NRC: I'm Nigel .... and Milner didn't play .... and neither did I.

MON: And you won't again with that attitude!




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The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Monday April 5 2010

Time: 11:42AM

 

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