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'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Hercs In The Dressing Room 'When Rumours Abound'

*We join MON who's been called for showdown talks with Randy Lerner*

Lerner: Maaaaarty! Long time no see, how's it hangin'?

MON: You're .... not mad about the 7-1?

Lerner: Ah seven one shmeven one. Hell so what if they scored a touchdown and conversion? That's football right?

MON: Well, not exac....

Lerner: Anyway you're hear about Jimmy Milner, I done had a 'grrrrrrreat!' offer for him as Tony the tiger would say.

MON: I didn't realise you had Tony the tiger in America.

*Lerner looks confused*

Lerner: How'd you mean? I take Tony with me everywhere.

*Lerner points to an actual tiger*

Tony: How'd you do?

MON: Hi ... (turning back to Randy) You own a talking tiger?

Lerner: Son when you're a billionaire you can own whatever you like.

MON: right, anyway what was this about Milner.

Lerner: These guys are offering me millions for what I can imagine are a few photoshoots in speedos and with feather boas and stuff.

*MON looks sceptical*

MON: Boss are you su....

Lerner: I mean 'Man United', you can bat for whatever side you want for the kind of money their offering.

MON: Sir, Man United is a football team not some publication for men of a certain persuasion.

Lerner: Nonsense Marty, it'll be the same as that deal with Barry for 'Man City'. You can't underestimate the power of the pink pound.

MON: Sir, Barry PLAYS for them now!

Lerner: He does? Gee I thought he had a homelife with kids and everything, go figure.

MON: No not for ... I give up.

*sources 'close to Villa' get on the internet and radio on MON's resignation*




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The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Wednesday March 31 2010

Time: 11:58AM

Your Comments (oldest first)

Change to most recent first
Most amusing
villan of the north
Report Abuse
31/03/2010 12:04:00

Most amusing
villan of the north
Report Abuse
31/03/2010 12:04:00

''Tony: How'd you do?'' - lmao!!!
Nel-A
Report Abuse
01/04/2010 01:39:00

LMAO, quality
DoLpHiNaToR
Report Abuse
01/04/2010 13:54:00

LMAO, quality
DoLpHiNaToR
Report Abuse
01/04/2010 13:54:00

"You can't underestimate the power of the pink pound"....classic!
CoxintheBox
Report Abuse
01/04/2010 14:27:00

"You can't underestimate the power of the pink pound"....classic!
CoxintheBox
Report Abuse
01/04/2010 14:27:00

Pink pound indeed. I'm not sure I'll ever think about "Man" Utd or "Man" City in quite the same way again -- it must be the football equivalent of imagining your boss without his trousers as he gives you a rollicking at work ... :o)
BobTheBuilder
Report Abuse
02/04/2010 13:54:00

 

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