Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

Hercs In The Dressing Room After Chelsea Game

Hercs In The Dressing Room After Chelsea Game

*We join the lads, heads hung low and glum after their heavy defeat against Chelsea, MON jovially enters whistling as he gets to the front of the room*

MON: Great stuff lads, brilliant, that went exactly as we'd planned.

*MON puts his hands on his hips, throws his head back and bursts out laughing maniacally.*

A.Young (whispering): This is terrible, we've sent him mad.

*A number of the lads fearfully nod*

MON: Excellent, I'm just glad you all got the memo.

Collins: Memo?

Carew: What memo?

MON: Very good you two, the memo, you know.

*MON shuffles the cursor on his laptop and it jumps into life, he clicks on his sent e-mails*

MON: Here we go. 'Lets leave it to Chelsea lads, lure them into a false sense of security then strike in the F.A Cup semi-final' and might I say lads you executed the plan beautifully.

A.Young: Boss, I didn't get your e-mail.

*MON chuckles*

MON: Good one Ashley, you said you went to check you're e-mails a few minutes before the match, I saw you get your laptop you little scamp.

A.Young: Yeah .... um ..... e-mails.

MON: And like I said before kick-off, 'everyone don't forget to check out your e-mails'.

Carew: E-mails? I thought you said check out the females.

Gabby: Yeah me too.

MON: Fema...? Why would I ...? So None of you got the memo? You just ... Lost?

Dunne: Aye bass, every goal was like a dagger to me backside.

MON: Don't you mean your heart?

Collins: Steady on boss, his heart's not that big.

*MON flips to a foul, four-letter word tirade which lasts for 40 minutes*

A.Young: Please boss, calm down, I don't think the last few sentances you yelled even made sense.

MON: Pound sign! Percentage! Asterix! Exclamation mark!

*MON Collapses in an exausted heap. He lays on his side heavy breathing like a dying animal*

Warnock: Boss..... Are you ... OK?

*MON raises a weak arm*

MON: Confound you to Hades!

*Carew and Gabby scan the room*

Carew: What ladies?

Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs
Date:Tuesday March 30 2010
Time: 4:08PM

Comments

0
Very funny Hercs. I'm left hoping though that the performance wasn't a false sense of security and that we can overcome you at Wembley too.
LifeLongBlue
30/03/2010 16:24:00
0
Very funny Hercs. I'm left hoping though that the performance wasn't a false sense of security and that we can overcome you at Wembley too.
LifeLongBlue
30/03/2010 16:24:00
0
:-) Like it, Hercs.
badger0-0
30/03/2010 16:40:00
0
:-) Like it, Hercs.
badger0-0
30/03/2010 16:40:00
0
Wonderful timing Hercs, just what the doctor ordered on this darkest of dark days. Thank you (from the heart of my bottom).
andy5759
30/03/2010 16:41:00
0
Wonderful timing Hercs, just what the doctor ordered on this darkest of dark days. Thank you (from the heart of my bottom).
andy5759
30/03/2010 16:41:00
0
clicked a random link and glad i did... very funny stuff. hope you get a win this weekend and forget about Chelsea
retroflair31
30/03/2010 17:06:00
0
Hercs, you did it,i can finally laugh about it. "every goal was like a dagger to me backside" inspired mate.
longbridgelion
30/03/2010 18:23:00
0
Hercs, you did it,i can finally laugh about it. "every goal was like a dagger to me backside" inspired mate.
longbridgelion
30/03/2010 18:23:00
0
Best so far from you Hercs!
FootyFans
30/03/2010 18:52:00
Page 1/2
  1. 1
  2. 2

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Officials - Aston Villa v Preston (21/1/17)

The Football League have now announced the Match Day officials that will take charge of the game between Aston Villa and Preston North End this Saturday.

The Villa Times - 20/01/2017 (Aston Villa News Round-up)

The very latest brand new sparkling news and views on Aston Villa via the uno fish ial one...

Aston Villa - What Was - What Is

A look at what was, what is and what might be. 13th in the Championship doesn't bode well for promotion quite yet.

Something For The Weekend (560)

Villa were left howling in the wilderness after a self-inflicted defeat to Wolves on Saturday.

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Aston Villa v PNE will:
Suggested By: Mystic Mug
Win59%
Lose21%
Draw20%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Brighton 26 17 6 3 57 24
2 Newcastle 26 18 1 7 55 29
3 Leeds Utd 26 15 3 8 48 11
4 Reading 25 14 4 7 46 3
5 Huddersfield 26 14 4 8 46 0
6 Sheff Wed 27 13 6 8 45 5
7 Derby County 26 11 7 8 40 5
8 Fulham 25 10 9 6 39 13
9 Preston 26 11 6 9 39 3
10 Barnsley 26 11 5 10 38 4
11 Norwich 26 11 4 11 37 3
12 Birmingham 26 9 9 8 36 -5
13 Aston Villa 26 8 11 7 35 1
14 Ipswich 26 9 7 10 34 -3
15 Brentford 26 9 6 11 33 0
16 Wolves 26 8 8 10 32 -1
17 Q.P.R. 26 9 5 12 32 -11
18 Cardiff 25 8 6 11 30 -10
19 Bristol City 26 8 3 15 27 -3
20 Forest 26 7 6 13 27 -8
21 Burton 26 6 7 13 25 -10
22 Blackburn 26 6 6 14 24 -12
23 Wigan 26 5 7 14 22 -9
24 Rotherham 26 4 4 18 16 -29
The Vital Football Members League
Latest F1 News
Ecclestone wants to tear up the rulebook
Latest Vital Boxing News
Warren Set to Announce Williams v Smith?
Vital Football Comment

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Jan 21 2017 3:00PM : Preston North End (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Jan 28 2017 3:00PM : Bristol City (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Jan 31 2017 7:45PM : Brentford (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Feb 4 2017 5:30PM : Nottingham Forest (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Feb 11 2017 3:00PM : Ipswich Town (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Feb 14 2017 7:45PM : Barnsley (H)
Sky Bet Championship

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.The Fear490
2.JuanPabloAngel291
3.Silhillvilla261
4.sirdennis253
5.Fulford226
6.Villan57193
7.BodyButter141
8.Melon Donkey141
9.danvilla2111
10.kefkat105
Write for Vital Football