Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

Hercs In The Dressing Room After Chelsea Game

Hercs In The Dressing Room After Chelsea Game

*We join the lads, heads hung low and glum after their heavy defeat against Chelsea, MON jovially enters whistling as he gets to the front of the room*

MON: Great stuff lads, brilliant, that went exactly as we'd planned.

*MON puts his hands on his hips, throws his head back and bursts out laughing maniacally.*

A.Young (whispering): This is terrible, we've sent him mad.

*A number of the lads fearfully nod*

MON: Excellent, I'm just glad you all got the memo.

Collins: Memo?

Carew: What memo?

MON: Very good you two, the memo, you know.

*MON shuffles the cursor on his laptop and it jumps into life, he clicks on his sent e-mails*

MON: Here we go. 'Lets leave it to Chelsea lads, lure them into a false sense of security then strike in the F.A Cup semi-final' and might I say lads you executed the plan beautifully.

A.Young: Boss, I didn't get your e-mail.

*MON chuckles*

MON: Good one Ashley, you said you went to check you're e-mails a few minutes before the match, I saw you get your laptop you little scamp.

A.Young: Yeah .... um ..... e-mails.

MON: And like I said before kick-off, 'everyone don't forget to check out your e-mails'.

Carew: E-mails? I thought you said check out the females.

Gabby: Yeah me too.

MON: Fema...? Why would I ...? So None of you got the memo? You just ... Lost?

Dunne: Aye bass, every goal was like a dagger to me backside.

MON: Don't you mean your heart?

Collins: Steady on boss, his heart's not that big.

*MON flips to a foul, four-letter word tirade which lasts for 40 minutes*

A.Young: Please boss, calm down, I don't think the last few sentances you yelled even made sense.

MON: Pound sign! Percentage! Asterix! Exclamation mark!

*MON Collapses in an exausted heap. He lays on his side heavy breathing like a dying animal*

Warnock: Boss..... Are you ... OK?

*MON raises a weak arm*

MON: Confound you to Hades!

*Carew and Gabby scan the room*

Carew: What ladies?

Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs
Date:Tuesday March 30 2010
Time: 4:08PM

Best of Vital Network

Comments

0
Very funny Hercs. I'm left hoping though that the performance wasn't a false sense of security and that we can overcome you at Wembley too.
LifeLongBlue
30/03/2010 16:24:00
0
Very funny Hercs. I'm left hoping though that the performance wasn't a false sense of security and that we can overcome you at Wembley too.
LifeLongBlue
30/03/2010 16:24:00
0
:-) Like it, Hercs.
badger0-0
30/03/2010 16:40:00
0
:-) Like it, Hercs.
badger0-0
30/03/2010 16:40:00
0
Wonderful timing Hercs, just what the doctor ordered on this darkest of dark days. Thank you (from the heart of my bottom).
andy5759
30/03/2010 16:41:00
0
Wonderful timing Hercs, just what the doctor ordered on this darkest of dark days. Thank you (from the heart of my bottom).
andy5759
30/03/2010 16:41:00
0
clicked a random link and glad i did... very funny stuff. hope you get a win this weekend and forget about Chelsea
retroflair31
30/03/2010 17:06:00
0
Hercs, you did it,i can finally laugh about it. "every goal was like a dagger to me backside" inspired mate.
longbridgelion
30/03/2010 18:23:00
0
Hercs, you did it,i can finally laugh about it. "every goal was like a dagger to me backside" inspired mate.
longbridgelion
30/03/2010 18:23:00
0
Best so far from you Hercs!
FootyFans
30/03/2010 18:52:00
Page 1/2
  1. 1
  2. 2

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Technical Director To Spell End For Paddy Riley?

A new technical director, an ex Paddy Riley?

Good God - Jordan Ayew

Jordan Ayew on the pain of relegation and his future...

AV Partner Resorts World To Reward ST Holders

New official partner Resorts World Birmingham will be offering deals to season ticket holders of AVFC throughout the season...

Aston Villa On Social Media - A Roundup!

A roundup of the social media over the last day for Aston Villa on social media.

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Do you want Jordan Ayew to stay?
Suggested By: JP Fear
Yes, definitely89%
No, not really3%
Up to him, not that worried8%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
C Burnley 46 26 15 5 93 37
P Middlesbrough 46 26 11 9 89 32
3 Brighton 46 24 17 5 89 30
4 Hull City 46 24 11 11 83 34
5 Derby County 46 21 15 10 78 23
6 Sheff Wed 46 19 17 10 74 21
7 Ipswich 46 18 15 13 69 2
8 Cardiff 46 17 17 12 68 5
9 Brentford 46 19 8 19 65 5
10 Birmingham 46 16 15 15 63 4
11 Preston 46 15 17 14 62 0
12 Q.P.R. 46 14 18 14 60 0
13 Leeds Utd 46 14 17 15 59 -8
14 Wolves 46 14 16 16 58 -5
15 Blackburn 46 13 16 17 55 0
16 Forest 46 13 16 17 55 -4
17 Reading 46 13 13 20 52 -7
18 Bristol City 46 13 13 20 52 -17
19 Huddersfield 46 13 12 21 51 -11
20 Fulham 46 12 15 19 51 -13
21 Rotherham 46 13 10 23 49 -18
R Charlton 46 9 13 24 40 -40
R MK Dons 46 9 12 25 39 -30
R Bolton 46 5 15 26 30 -40
Write for Vital Football
Latest F1 News
Blog: Red Bull Ring Preview
Latest Vital Boxing News
Froch Not Sure About Groves!
The Vital Football Members League

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.The Fear477
2.sirdennis205
3.Fulford195
4.BodyButter162
5.glensider148
6.JuanPabloAngel139
7.kefkat119
8.DeanoVilla107
9.HeathfieldRoad1874104
10.Melon Donkey97
Vital Football Comment