Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

Hercs In The Dressing Room After Chelsea Game

Hercs In The Dressing Room After Chelsea Game

*We join the lads, heads hung low and glum after their heavy defeat against Chelsea, MON jovially enters whistling as he gets to the front of the room*

MON: Great stuff lads, brilliant, that went exactly as we'd planned.

*MON puts his hands on his hips, throws his head back and bursts out laughing maniacally.*

A.Young (whispering): This is terrible, we've sent him mad.

*A number of the lads fearfully nod*

MON: Excellent, I'm just glad you all got the memo.

Collins: Memo?

Carew: What memo?

MON: Very good you two, the memo, you know.

*MON shuffles the cursor on his laptop and it jumps into life, he clicks on his sent e-mails*

MON: Here we go. 'Lets leave it to Chelsea lads, lure them into a false sense of security then strike in the F.A Cup semi-final' and might I say lads you executed the plan beautifully.

A.Young: Boss, I didn't get your e-mail.

*MON chuckles*

MON: Good one Ashley, you said you went to check you're e-mails a few minutes before the match, I saw you get your laptop you little scamp.

A.Young: Yeah .... um ..... e-mails.

MON: And like I said before kick-off, 'everyone don't forget to check out your e-mails'.

Carew: E-mails? I thought you said check out the females.

Gabby: Yeah me too.

MON: Fema...? Why would I ...? So None of you got the memo? You just ... Lost?

Dunne: Aye bass, every goal was like a dagger to me backside.

MON: Don't you mean your heart?

Collins: Steady on boss, his heart's not that big.

*MON flips to a foul, four-letter word tirade which lasts for 40 minutes*

A.Young: Please boss, calm down, I don't think the last few sentances you yelled even made sense.

MON: Pound sign! Percentage! Asterix! Exclamation mark!

*MON Collapses in an exausted heap. He lays on his side heavy breathing like a dying animal*

Warnock: Boss..... Are you ... OK?

*MON raises a weak arm*

MON: Confound you to Hades!

*Carew and Gabby scan the room*

Carew: What ladies?

Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs
Date:Tuesday March 30 2010
Time: 4:08PM

Comments

0
Very funny Hercs. I'm left hoping though that the performance wasn't a false sense of security and that we can overcome you at Wembley too.
LifeLongBlue
30/03/2010 16:24:00
0
Very funny Hercs. I'm left hoping though that the performance wasn't a false sense of security and that we can overcome you at Wembley too.
LifeLongBlue
30/03/2010 16:24:00
0
:-) Like it, Hercs.
badger0-0
30/03/2010 16:40:00
0
:-) Like it, Hercs.
badger0-0
30/03/2010 16:40:00
0
Wonderful timing Hercs, just what the doctor ordered on this darkest of dark days. Thank you (from the heart of my bottom).
andy5759
30/03/2010 16:41:00
0
Wonderful timing Hercs, just what the doctor ordered on this darkest of dark days. Thank you (from the heart of my bottom).
andy5759
30/03/2010 16:41:00
0
clicked a random link and glad i did... very funny stuff. hope you get a win this weekend and forget about Chelsea
retroflair31
30/03/2010 17:06:00
0
Hercs, you did it,i can finally laugh about it. "every goal was like a dagger to me backside" inspired mate.
longbridgelion
30/03/2010 18:23:00
0
Hercs, you did it,i can finally laugh about it. "every goal was like a dagger to me backside" inspired mate.
longbridgelion
30/03/2010 18:23:00
0
Best so far from you Hercs!
FootyFans
30/03/2010 18:52:00
Page 1/2
  1. 1
  2. 2

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Something For The Weekend (564)

Shock and awfulness...or the incident of the sob in the night-time.

7 Reasons To Look On The Claret & Blue Bright Side

DJ France has 7 claret and blue (sounds like mostly claret!) reasons to look on the bright side.

Technology For The Championship In 2017/18

On Thursday the Football League confirmed that there was now an agreement in principle for the introduction of goal-line technology from the start of the 2017/18 season.

Officials - Newcastle v Aston Villa (20/2/17)

The Football League have now announced the Match Day officials that will take charge of the game between Newcastle United and Aston Villa this Monday.

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Aston Villa v Newcastle (away) will:
Suggested By: Mystic Mug
Win15%
Lose85%
Draw0%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Brighton 32 20 8 4 68 28
2 Newcastle 31 21 3 7 66 35
3 Huddersfield 31 19 4 8 61 7
4 Reading 32 18 6 8 60 6
5 Leeds Utd 33 18 4 11 58 11
6 Sheff Wed 32 17 7 8 58 11
7 Norwich 33 15 6 12 51 11
8 Fulham 31 13 10 8 49 15
9 Barnsley 33 14 7 12 49 4
10 Preston 33 13 10 10 49 4
11 Derby County 31 13 8 10 47 7
12 Cardiff 33 13 6 14 45 -2
13 Ipswich 33 10 11 12 41 -7
14 Birmingham 33 10 10 13 40 -14
15 Brentford 31 10 7 14 37 -1
16 Q.P.R. 32 10 7 15 37 -11
17 Aston Villa 31 8 12 11 36 -6
18 Forest 33 10 6 17 36 -12
19 Wolves 31 9 8 14 35 -4
20 Burton 32 9 7 16 34 -13
21 Bristol City 31 9 5 17 32 -4
22 Wigan 32 7 9 16 30 -9
23 Blackburn 31 7 8 16 29 -13
24 Rotherham 33 4 5 24 17 -43
Vital Football Comment
Latest F1 News
Hamilton sends warning shot to Bottas
Latest Vital Boxing News
Peterson Becomes Two-Weight World Champion
Write for Vital Football

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Feb 20 2017 8:00PM : Newcastle United (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Feb 25 2017 3:00PM : Derby County (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Feb 28 2017 7:45PM : Bristol City (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Mar 4 2017 3:00PM : Rotherham United (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Mar 7 2017 7:45PM : Huddersfield Town (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Mar 11 2017 3:00PM : Sheffield Wednesday (H)
Sky Bet Championship

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.The Fear297
2.JuanPabloAngel266
3.sirdennis260
4.Fulford172
5.Silhillvilla159
6.Melon Donkey153
7.villasince67136
8.McParlandTheGreat121
9.kefkat114
10.Stephen Jay Hawkings103
The Vital Football Members League