Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

Hercs In The Dressing Room Pre Chelsea

Hercs In The Dressing Room Pre Chelsea

*We join the lads gearing up for their game against Chelsea*

Gabby: ... and I said 'I don't even like celery!'

*The lads erupt with laughter*

MON: Alright lads settle down, right it's the warm up to the big semi, no tissues necessary Ashley.

*A.Young folds his arms and looks away with disgust as the lads all laugh at him*

MON: Sorry Ashley. Anyway with Dunne looking unlikely, Luke ... What in the world....

*Luke Young is in full cowboy gear, he slowly lifts his ten gallon hat and spits in a bucket*

L.Young: I done saw on that there Sky Sports News that with Dunne injured I'd be made deputy.

MON: You mean you'd 'deputise'

*L.Young removes his hat and begins taking off his cowboy garb*

L.Young: Oh. Balls.

MON: Yes, it's quite the injury crisis. Luke, centre back.

L.Young: Centre back but I was thinking that Carlos would ....

MON: Exactly! If that's what you think, that's what everyone will think. They won't know what's hit them with you in the middle and Carlos on the right.

L.Young: But...

MON: But nothing, in the Art of War Sun Tzu said 'Always mystify, mislead and surprise the enemy if possible'

*Gabby is nodding*

Gabby: It's true.

*The lads all turn and stare at Gabby*

Gabby: What? I read.

*The lads are still staring at Gabby*

Gabby: I read!

MON: Anyway imagine their surprise at my masterful tactics. This one's going to be a rout I tell you!

***Meanwhile in the Chelsea dressing room***

Ancelotti: I don't know much about this Martin O'Neill other than he is what us russians call 'insane'

Terry: insane's an english word boss.

Ancelotti: Is always England, England, England with you John. I would tell you 'take break' but the other players they say 'Keep John busy boss' and 'I love my wife boss'. Anyway, O'Neill will probably do something crazy like play all his defenders out of position so just harrass them and it will be what we call in Russia a 'rout'.

*Terry opens his mouth, then thinks better of remarking*

Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs
Date:Friday March 26 2010
Time: 12:49PM

Comments

0
Before it's said Yes I know Ancelotti is Italian. I like to think Ambromavic forces you to switch allegiance as well as surrender your soul in the Chelsea manager contract. Besides look at him, he couldn't look more Russian ..... Well I suppose he could wear one of those hats with the flaps.
Hercs
26/03/2010 12:56:00
0
Gabby: What? I read. Priceless.
Stig
26/03/2010 13:14:00
0
Funniest read on the site I actually look forward to these especailly after you guys have dropped points! ;)
daveeeeed ginola
26/03/2010 13:40:00
0
Funniest read on the site I actually look forward to these especailly after you guys have dropped points! ;)
daveeeeed ginola
26/03/2010 13:40:00
0
Yeah I like them them too,good work Hercs,funnier than cockeril v everyone else on our site.
CoxintheBox
26/03/2010 14:13:00
0
Yeah I like them them too,good work Hercs,funnier than cockeril v everyone else on our site.
CoxintheBox
26/03/2010 14:13:00
0
Love the thought of O'Neil basing his teams on The Art of War!!
Just as funny as ever Hercs, keep em coming, sadly though a lot of truth in this one!
davidsands1982
26/03/2010 14:26:00
0
Love the thought of O'Neil basing his teams on The Art of War!!
Just as funny as ever Hercs, keep em coming, sadly though a lot of truth in this one!
davidsands1982
26/03/2010 14:26:00
0
I dont know why we're laughing. Hercs has probably got this nailed spot-on. You have to laugh though dont ya, otherwise you'd just breakdown and cry.
glensider
26/03/2010 17:50:00
0
I dont know why we're laughing. Hercs has probably got this nailed spot-on. You have to laugh though dont ya, otherwise you'd just breakdown and cry.
glensider
26/03/2010 17:50:00
Page 1/2
  1. 1
  2. 2

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

The Vital Villa Best Beard Of The Season Award Goes To..

I imagine this will hit the national press, such a prestigious award...

Wyness Confident Of Summer Improvements

Chief Executive Keith Wyness has said that he's confident Aston Villa will sign the three or four quality additions identified by manager Steve Bruce this summer.

FA Boosts Cheating Powers for 2017/18

The Football Association announced earlier today that they have extended their powers when it comes to punishing retrospective simulation.

Reasons For Optimism For Villa Promotion?

Aston Villa 2016-17: Hard lessons to be learnt but real reason for optimism

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

I'm all out of questions at the moment
Suggested By:
You can suggest one40%
if you want to!60%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
C Newcastle 46 29 7 10 94 45
P Brighton 46 28 9 9 93 34
3 Reading 46 26 7 13 85 4
4 Sheff Wed 46 24 9 13 81 15
5 Huddersfield 46 25 6 15 81 -2
6 Fulham 46 22 14 10 80 28
7 Leeds Utd 46 22 9 15 75 14
8 Norwich 46 20 10 16 70 16
9 Derby County 46 18 13 15 67 4
10 Brentford 46 18 10 18 64 10
11 Preston 46 16 14 16 62 1
12 Cardiff 46 17 11 18 62 -1
13 Aston Villa 46 16 14 16 62 -1
14 Barnsley 46 15 13 18 58 -3
15 Wolves 46 16 10 20 58 -4
16 Ipswich 46 13 16 17 55 -10
17 Bristol City 46 15 9 22 54 -6
18 Q.P.R. 46 15 8 23 53 -14
19 Birmingham 46 13 14 19 53 -19
20 Burton 46 13 13 20 52 -14
21 Forest 46 14 9 23 51 -10
R Blackburn 46 12 15 19 51 -12
R Wigan 46 10 12 24 42 -17
R Rotherham 46 5 8 33 23 -58
The Vital Football Members League
Latest F1 News
F1 Prediction Competition open for Monaco
Latest Vital Boxing News
Ryan Walsh Successfully Defends British Title
Vital Football Comment

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.The Fear336
2.JuanPabloAngel279
3.sirdennis212
4.BBJ177
5.Pride of Lions157
6.villasince67149
7.Silhillvilla125
8.kefkat120
9.mike_field117
10.col8115
Write for Vital Football