Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

Hercs In The Dressing Room Pre Chelsea

Hercs In The Dressing Room Pre Chelsea

*We join the lads gearing up for their game against Chelsea*

Gabby: ... and I said 'I don't even like celery!'

*The lads erupt with laughter*

MON: Alright lads settle down, right it's the warm up to the big semi, no tissues necessary Ashley.

*A.Young folds his arms and looks away with disgust as the lads all laugh at him*

MON: Sorry Ashley. Anyway with Dunne looking unlikely, Luke ... What in the world....

*Luke Young is in full cowboy gear, he slowly lifts his ten gallon hat and spits in a bucket*

L.Young: I done saw on that there Sky Sports News that with Dunne injured I'd be made deputy.

MON: You mean you'd 'deputise'

*L.Young removes his hat and begins taking off his cowboy garb*

L.Young: Oh. Balls.

MON: Yes, it's quite the injury crisis. Luke, centre back.

L.Young: Centre back but I was thinking that Carlos would ....

MON: Exactly! If that's what you think, that's what everyone will think. They won't know what's hit them with you in the middle and Carlos on the right.

L.Young: But...

MON: But nothing, in the Art of War Sun Tzu said 'Always mystify, mislead and surprise the enemy if possible'

*Gabby is nodding*

Gabby: It's true.

*The lads all turn and stare at Gabby*

Gabby: What? I read.

*The lads are still staring at Gabby*

Gabby: I read!

MON: Anyway imagine their surprise at my masterful tactics. This one's going to be a rout I tell you!

***Meanwhile in the Chelsea dressing room***

Ancelotti: I don't know much about this Martin O'Neill other than he is what us russians call 'insane'

Terry: insane's an english word boss.

Ancelotti: Is always England, England, England with you John. I would tell you 'take break' but the other players they say 'Keep John busy boss' and 'I love my wife boss'. Anyway, O'Neill will probably do something crazy like play all his defenders out of position so just harrass them and it will be what we call in Russia a 'rout'.

*Terry opens his mouth, then thinks better of remarking*

Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs
Date:Friday March 26 2010
Time: 12:49PM

Comments

0
Before it's said Yes I know Ancelotti is Italian. I like to think Ambromavic forces you to switch allegiance as well as surrender your soul in the Chelsea manager contract. Besides look at him, he couldn't look more Russian ..... Well I suppose he could wear one of those hats with the flaps.
Hercs
26/03/2010 12:56:00
0
Gabby: What? I read. Priceless.
Stig
26/03/2010 13:14:00
0
Funniest read on the site I actually look forward to these especailly after you guys have dropped points! ;)
daveeeeed ginola
26/03/2010 13:40:00
0
Funniest read on the site I actually look forward to these especailly after you guys have dropped points! ;)
daveeeeed ginola
26/03/2010 13:40:00
0
Yeah I like them them too,good work Hercs,funnier than cockeril v everyone else on our site.
CoxintheBox
26/03/2010 14:13:00
0
Yeah I like them them too,good work Hercs,funnier than cockeril v everyone else on our site.
CoxintheBox
26/03/2010 14:13:00
0
Love the thought of O'Neil basing his teams on The Art of War!!
Just as funny as ever Hercs, keep em coming, sadly though a lot of truth in this one!
davidsands1982
26/03/2010 14:26:00
0
Love the thought of O'Neil basing his teams on The Art of War!!
Just as funny as ever Hercs, keep em coming, sadly though a lot of truth in this one!
davidsands1982
26/03/2010 14:26:00
0
I dont know why we're laughing. Hercs has probably got this nailed spot-on. You have to laugh though dont ya, otherwise you'd just breakdown and cry.
glensider
26/03/2010 17:50:00
0
I dont know why we're laughing. Hercs has probably got this nailed spot-on. You have to laugh though dont ya, otherwise you'd just breakdown and cry.
glensider
26/03/2010 17:50:00
Page 1/2
  1. 1
  2. 2

Login to post a comment

Best of International Football News

-

Recent Aston Villa Articles

A Minute's Applause For Regis

Aston Villa have confirmed that the club will be holding a minute's applause for former striker and all round good bloke Cyrille Regis ahead of our game against Barnsley...

Soccerex Look At Football Financial Power - 2018

The Soccerex Football Finance 100 report was released this month and English Premier League sides dominate the top ten...with a number of other Premier League and Championship clubs...

The Villa Times - 17/01/2018 (Villa news round-up)

The latest news and views on Aston Villa v the uno fish ial one...

Vital Villa Man Of The Match v Forest v Posh

Man of the match results Villa away to Forest and the bleurr v Posh

Aston Villa Archived Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Aston Villa v Barnsley will:
Suggested By: Mystic Mug
Win, of course, never in doubt88%
Lose - social media meltdown time!?6%
Draw - zzzz!6%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites
The Vital Football Members League
Latest F1 News
Could Red Bull be favourites for 2018?
Latest Vital Boxing News
Joshua v Parker Date and Venue Confirmed
Vital Football Comment

Aston Villa Fixtures

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.The Fear318
2.Pride of Lions313
3.JuanPabloAngel289
4.sirdennis234
5.Silhillvilla149
6.DeanoVilla129
7.mike_field129
8.McParlandTheGreat117
9.BodyButter112
10.villasince6793
Write for Vital Football