Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

Hercs In The Dressing Room Pre Chelsea

Hercs In The Dressing Room Pre Chelsea

*We join the lads gearing up for their game against Chelsea*

Gabby: ... and I said 'I don't even like celery!'

*The lads erupt with laughter*

MON: Alright lads settle down, right it's the warm up to the big semi, no tissues necessary Ashley.

*A.Young folds his arms and looks away with disgust as the lads all laugh at him*

MON: Sorry Ashley. Anyway with Dunne looking unlikely, Luke ... What in the world....

*Luke Young is in full cowboy gear, he slowly lifts his ten gallon hat and spits in a bucket*

L.Young: I done saw on that there Sky Sports News that with Dunne injured I'd be made deputy.

MON: You mean you'd 'deputise'

*L.Young removes his hat and begins taking off his cowboy garb*

L.Young: Oh. Balls.

MON: Yes, it's quite the injury crisis. Luke, centre back.

L.Young: Centre back but I was thinking that Carlos would ....

MON: Exactly! If that's what you think, that's what everyone will think. They won't know what's hit them with you in the middle and Carlos on the right.

L.Young: But...

MON: But nothing, in the Art of War Sun Tzu said 'Always mystify, mislead and surprise the enemy if possible'

*Gabby is nodding*

Gabby: It's true.

*The lads all turn and stare at Gabby*

Gabby: What? I read.

*The lads are still staring at Gabby*

Gabby: I read!

MON: Anyway imagine their surprise at my masterful tactics. This one's going to be a rout I tell you!

***Meanwhile in the Chelsea dressing room***

Ancelotti: I don't know much about this Martin O'Neill other than he is what us russians call 'insane'

Terry: insane's an english word boss.

Ancelotti: Is always England, England, England with you John. I would tell you 'take break' but the other players they say 'Keep John busy boss' and 'I love my wife boss'. Anyway, O'Neill will probably do something crazy like play all his defenders out of position so just harrass them and it will be what we call in Russia a 'rout'.

*Terry opens his mouth, then thinks better of remarking*

Exclusive to Vital ! Read now ! The Vital Boxing John H Stracey Interview

Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs
Date:Friday March 26 2010
Time: 12:49PM

Comments

0
Before it's said Yes I know Ancelotti is Italian. I like to think Ambromavic forces you to switch allegiance as well as surrender your soul in the Chelsea manager contract. Besides look at him, he couldn't look more Russian ..... Well I suppose he could wear one of those hats with the flaps.
Hercs
26/03/2010 12:56:00
0
Gabby: What? I read. Priceless.
Stig
26/03/2010 13:14:00
0
Funniest read on the site I actually look forward to these especailly after you guys have dropped points! ;)
daveeeeed ginola
26/03/2010 13:40:00
0
Funniest read on the site I actually look forward to these especailly after you guys have dropped points! ;)
daveeeeed ginola
26/03/2010 13:40:00
0
Yeah I like them them too,good work Hercs,funnier than cockeril v everyone else on our site.
CoxintheBox
26/03/2010 14:13:00
0
Yeah I like them them too,good work Hercs,funnier than cockeril v everyone else on our site.
CoxintheBox
26/03/2010 14:13:00
0
Love the thought of O'Neil basing his teams on The Art of War!!
Just as funny as ever Hercs, keep em coming, sadly though a lot of truth in this one!
davidsands1982
26/03/2010 14:26:00
0
Love the thought of O'Neil basing his teams on The Art of War!!
Just as funny as ever Hercs, keep em coming, sadly though a lot of truth in this one!
davidsands1982
26/03/2010 14:26:00
0
I dont know why we're laughing. Hercs has probably got this nailed spot-on. You have to laugh though dont ya, otherwise you'd just breakdown and cry.
glensider
26/03/2010 17:50:00
0
I dont know why we're laughing. Hercs has probably got this nailed spot-on. You have to laugh though dont ya, otherwise you'd just breakdown and cry.
glensider
26/03/2010 17:50:00
Page 1/2
  1. 1
  2. 2

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Aston Villa FA Cup 3rd Round Away To Spurs On BBC

The Official site have confirmed that Aston Villa`s FA Cup 3rd round game v Tottenham Hotspur at White Hart Lane will be screened on BBC.

An Interview With A Wigan Fan Ahead Of Villa Park Clash

An interview with Barry from Vital Wigan ahead of the weekends clash between Aston Villa and Wigan Athletic

The Xia Interview - Part 4 - Will He Sell Aston Villa?

The final part of our look at the Tony Xia interview. Will he build Aston Villa to sell it on?

Villa Fan (Opinion Piece) 5 Opponents I Hate

Juan Pablo Angel on the five opponents he hates!

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

The Vital Villa Player Of November
Suggested By: JP Fear
Gollini7%
Hutton1%
Chester5%
Baker5%
Westwood2%
Amavi3%
Jedinak31%
Gardner1%
Grealish2%
Gestede2%
Kodjia33%
Adomah 5%
Ayew1%
Other2%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Newcastle 19 13 1 5 40 21
2 Brighton 19 11 6 2 39 17
3 Reading 19 10 4 5 34 1
4 Leeds Utd 19 10 2 7 32 3
5 Birmingham 19 8 7 4 31 2
6 Sheff Wed 19 9 4 6 31 1
7 Norwich 19 9 3 7 30 4
8 Huddersfield 19 9 3 7 30 -3
9 Derby County 19 8 5 6 29 4
10 Fulham 19 7 7 5 28 9
11 Bristol City 19 8 3 8 27 4
12 Barnsley 19 7 4 8 25 3
13 Forest 19 7 4 8 25 1
14 Preston 19 7 4 8 25 1
15 Aston Villa 19 5 10 4 25 1
16 Ipswich 19 6 6 7 24 -2
17 Q.P.R. 19 6 5 8 23 -8
18 Brentford 19 6 4 9 22 -2
19 Burton 19 5 7 7 22 -4
20 Wolves 19 5 6 8 21 -3
21 Blackburn 19 5 5 9 20 -7
22 Cardiff 19 5 4 10 19 -12
23 Wigan 19 4 6 9 18 -5
24 Rotherham 19 1 4 14 7 -26
Write for Vital Football
Latest F1 News
Straight fight between Wehrlein & Bottas for M
Latest Vital Boxing News
John H Stracey Talks About That Night in 1975
The Vital Football Members League

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Dec 10 2016 3:00PM : Wigan Athletic (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Dec 13 2016 7:45PM : Norwich City (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Dec 18 2016 12:00PM : Queens Park Rangers (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Dec 26 2016 3:00PM : Burton Albion (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Dec 29 2016 7:45PM : Leeds United (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Jan 2 2017 3:00PM : Cardiff City (a)
Sky Bet Championship

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.The Fear195
2.JuanPabloAngel124
3.HeathfieldRoad187494
4.sirdennis84
5.TuBBz70
6.BodyButter68
7.Stephen Jay Hawkings55
8.Wurzel48
9.DeanoVilla44
10.Melon Donkey32
Vital Football Comment