UK time is: 04:50:27
Vital Login
Social Login

Choose your club

Other Sites

Network Navigation

Vital Partners

'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Hercs In The Dressing Room Pre Chelsea

*We join the lads gearing up for their game against Chelsea*

Gabby: ... and I said 'I don't even like celery!'

*The lads erupt with laughter*

MON: Alright lads settle down, right it's the warm up to the big semi, no tissues necessary Ashley.

*A.Young folds his arms and looks away with disgust as the lads all laugh at him*

MON: Sorry Ashley. Anyway with Dunne looking unlikely, Luke ... What in the world....

*Luke Young is in full cowboy gear, he slowly lifts his ten gallon hat and spits in a bucket*

L.Young: I done saw on that there Sky Sports News that with Dunne injured I'd be made deputy.

MON: You mean you'd 'deputise'

*L.Young removes his hat and begins taking off his cowboy garb*

L.Young: Oh. Balls.

MON: Yes, it's quite the injury crisis. Luke, centre back.

L.Young: Centre back but I was thinking that Carlos would ....

MON: Exactly! If that's what you think, that's what everyone will think. They won't know what's hit them with you in the middle and Carlos on the right.

L.Young: But...

MON: But nothing, in the Art of War Sun Tzu said 'Always mystify, mislead and surprise the enemy if possible'

*Gabby is nodding*

Gabby: It's true.

*The lads all turn and stare at Gabby*

Gabby: What? I read.

*The lads are still staring at Gabby*

Gabby: I read!

MON: Anyway imagine their surprise at my masterful tactics. This one's going to be a rout I tell you!

***Meanwhile in the Chelsea dressing room***

Ancelotti: I don't know much about this Martin O'Neill other than he is what us russians call 'insane'

Terry: insane's an english word boss.

Ancelotti: Is always England, England, England with you John. I would tell you 'take break' but the other players they say 'Keep John busy boss' and 'I love my wife boss'. Anyway, O'Neill will probably do something crazy like play all his defenders out of position so just harrass them and it will be what we call in Russia a 'rout'.

*Terry opens his mouth, then thinks better of remarking*




Use your social login to comment on front page articles. Login using you Facebook, Twitter, Google or LinkedIn accounts and have your say!

Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Friday March 26 2010

Time: 12:49PM

Your Comments (oldest first)

Change to most recent first
Before it's said Yes I know Ancelotti is Italian. I like to think Ambromavic forces you to switch allegiance as well as surrender your soul in the Chelsea manager contract. Besides look at him, he couldn't look more Russian ..... Well I suppose he could wear one of those hats with the flaps.
Hercs
Report Abuse
26/03/2010 12:56:00

Gabby: What? I read. Priceless.
Stig
Report Abuse
26/03/2010 13:14:00

Funniest read on the site I actually look forward to these especailly after you guys have dropped points! ;)
daveeeeed ginola
Report Abuse
26/03/2010 13:40:00

Funniest read on the site I actually look forward to these especailly after you guys have dropped points! ;)
daveeeeed ginola
Report Abuse
26/03/2010 13:40:00

Yeah I like them them too,good work Hercs,funnier than cockeril v everyone else on our site.
CoxintheBox
Report Abuse
26/03/2010 14:13:00

Yeah I like them them too,good work Hercs,funnier than cockeril v everyone else on our site.
CoxintheBox
Report Abuse
26/03/2010 14:13:00

Love the thought of O'Neil basing his teams on The Art of War!!
Just as funny as ever Hercs, keep em coming, sadly though a lot of truth in this one!
davidsands1982
Report Abuse
26/03/2010 14:26:00

Love the thought of O'Neil basing his teams on The Art of War!!
Just as funny as ever Hercs, keep em coming, sadly though a lot of truth in this one!
davidsands1982
Report Abuse
26/03/2010 14:26:00

I dont know why we're laughing. Hercs has probably got this nailed spot-on. You have to laugh though dont ya, otherwise you'd just breakdown and cry.
glensider
Report Abuse
26/03/2010 17:50:00

I dont know why we're laughing. Hercs has probably got this nailed spot-on. You have to laugh though dont ya, otherwise you'd just breakdown and cry.
glensider
Report Abuse
26/03/2010 17:50:00

Nice one.
Chelsea24/7
Report Abuse
27/03/2010 10:17:00

Nice one.
Chelsea24/7
Report Abuse
27/03/2010 10:17:00

brilliant stuff! certainly brightened my day
LHrover
Report Abuse
31/03/2010 09:47:00

brilliant stuff! certainly brightened my day
LHrover
Report Abuse
31/03/2010 09:47:00

 

Have Your Say

Log in...
with your social network     OR     with your Vital account

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Sinclair, Demba Ba & Others (Thursday January 29 2015)

An Interview With Carles Gil (Thursday January 29 2015)

Steer Won't Get Yeovil Loan Extension? (Wednesday January 28 2015)

Weimann Wants Wembley (Wednesday January 28 2015)

Leicester FA Cup Tie Chosen For TV (Wednesday January 28 2015)

Archived Aston Villa Articles

List All Vital Villa Articles
Have your say
Click here to suggest an article
Click here to suggest a poll

Vital Members League (view all)

1. The Fear 1113
2. ClivetheVillan 765
3. Pride of Lions 703
4. Freeman14 685
5. Villan57 439
6. thefacehead 344
7. sirdennis 330
8. kefkat 319
9. CDX_EIRE 293
10. DeanoVilla 261

League Results (view all)

League Table (view table)

Team P W D L GD Pts
12. Everton 22 5 8 9 -4 23
13. Crystal Palace 22 5 8 9 -8 23
14. WBA 22 5 7 10 -9 22
15. Aston Villa 22 5 7 10 -14 22
16. Sunderland 22 3 11 8 -14 20
17. Burnley 22 4 8 10 -15 20
18. Hull City 22 4 7 11 -10 19

Breaking League News

Swansea City Agree Fee For Southampton's Cork
Swansea : 29/01/2015 20:01:00
FA Youth Cup - Chelsea 6 Swansea 0
Chelsea : 29/01/2015 19:10:00
Allardyce Talks Liverpool (a)
West Ham : 29/01/2015 18:53:00
Mutch Departs For Palace
Q.P.R. : 29/01/2015 18:46:00
Ameobi Returns
Newcastle : 29/01/2015 17:41:00

Current Site Poll (view all polls)

Vital Villa January Player Of The Month
Suggested By:  JP Fear
Guzan 7%
Clark 9%
Baker 0%
Okore 51%
Cissokho 1%
Hutton 5%
Sanchez 14%
Westwood 0%
Gil 9%
Delph 1%
Cleverley 1%
Benteke 1%
Weimann 0%
Gabby 1%