Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

Hercs In The Dressing Room Post Sunderlad Game

Hercs In The Dressing Room Post Sunderlad Game

*We join the lads indifferent after a draw with Sunderland, MON is wearing a black tie over his tracksuit jacket, his face is streaked with tears*

A.Young: Wow the boss is taking this really hard. Hey boss, you're not upset about the whole 'throwing it away in March' thing are you?

*MON is looking away, silent and solemn*

A.Young: I mean we're trying our best, aren't we guys?

*The lads all nod and audibly agree. MON's bowed head is unmoving*

A.Young: I know the defence aren't as stingy as they've been....

*Collins and Dunne flashback to a conversation before the game with Frazier Cambpell*

.....

Campbell: Hey guys, I know it's cheeky to ask but mind if I score a goal? I'm only young and trying to find my way in the game.

*Collins and Dunne look at each other then back at Campbell*

Cambell: I mean it's hard going, Darren scores all the goals. My mum and dad come to all my matches, they think I'm a goalkeeper!

*Campbell bursts into floods of tears, Dunne puts a comforting arm around him*

Dunne: OK dere buddy, but just tha' one.

*Dunne winks, Cambpell immediately stops crying and beams*

Campbell: Yay!

.....

MON: No,no, it's not that, it's Emile, his injury ... It's finished his career.

*The lads all gasp, MON raises a framed picture of a young, grinning Heskey in his Leicester strip*

Heskey: What? My career's not over. The physio said...

MON: Oh I'll never be able to put his sweet name on my team sheet again.

Heskey: I can play again boss, I'm fine.

MON: When they stretchered him off the pitch I knew that was that. No more Emile in the team, it's almost more than I can bear.

Heskey: I didn't get stretchered off, I just have a knock, look.

*Heskey vibrantly kicks the air and jogs on the spot*

MON: Oh how the Villa faithful will miss his flair and panache.

*Ashley Young pats Heskey on the back*

A.Young: It was nice playing you with you big fella.

Heskey: I'm not...

*Milner presents Heskey with a card, Heskey reads it*

Heskey: 'Sorry you had to RETIRE'?!

*The card is a comedy one with an old man changing the tyres on a broken down vintage car.*

Heskey: Wait, this is signed by everyone, how long have you had this?

MON: Sorry Emile.

*MON is now Sheperding Heskey out of the dressing room with an arm, Heskey is turned looking over his shoulder.*

Heskey: Hey ....I'm not finished guys .... I...

*The door is closed and Heskey is stood outside alone, he can hear Kool and the Gang's 'Celebration' begin to chime from the room, peering in he sees MON dad dancing, his tie now around his head and Nathan Delfouneso jigging on a table in a party hat.*

Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs
Date:Thursday March 25 2010
Time: 11:41AM

Comments

0
hahahahhaahhahaaaahhaaaah!
Gruck
25/03/2010 14:44:00
0
loll... You lot hate Heskey, eh? Why did you buy him then?
JT_daniel
25/03/2010 15:01:00
0
JT_daniel - its not as if we as fans had a choice!
Mikey D-Man
25/03/2010 15:27:00
0
I actually love Heskey (I know I'm in the minority) but I genuinely think he's a great player and a benefit to the club.
Hercs
25/03/2010 15:52:00
0
I'm with you Hercs, and here I was thinking I stood alone. He was never going to succeed here, it just wasn't on. He gets flak no matter what, despite the times he performs as well as anyone else out there. Easy scapegoat. Yes his lack of goals are a problem, frustrating, but MON knew what he was getting when he bought him.
glensider
25/03/2010 21:21:00
0
I'm with you Hercs, and here I was thinking I stood alone. He was never going to succeed here, it just wasn't on. He gets flak no matter what, despite the times he performs as well as anyone else out there. Easy scapegoat. Yes his lack of goals are a problem, frustrating, but MON knew what he was getting when he bought him.
glensider
25/03/2010 21:21:00
0
How can Delboy get 6% on the MoM vote? He had 80 minutes of being bullied by Ferdinand and Hutton. When he had a chance he fluffed it. His scoring record is non existent and, unlike Heskey, he brings nothing else to the team. Beats me.
chocolate teapot
25/03/2010 22:08:00
0
How can Delboy get 6% on the MoM vote? He had 80 minutes of being bullied by Ferdinand and Hutton. When he had a chance he fluffed it. His scoring record is non existent and, unlike Heskey, he brings nothing else to the team. Beats me.
chocolate teapot
25/03/2010 22:08:00
0
Might want to give the lad a couple of games before you throw him out the team. Kinda ridiculous to judge him on one game. And I still wonder what heskey brings to the team. Its not tackles won or goals scored or assists... He probably is winning time spent lying on the ground though. Very valuable...
Astriel
26/03/2010 07:57:00
0
Might want to give the lad a couple of games before you throw him out the team. Kinda ridiculous to judge him on one game. And I still wonder what heskey brings to the team. Its not tackles won or goals scored or assists... He probably is winning time spent lying on the ground though. Very valuable...
Astriel
26/03/2010 07:57:00
Page 1/2
  1. 1
  2. 2

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Elphick's Superstitions To Continue

New centre half Tommy Elphick has insisted his pre match ritual of attacking the goal posts instead of having a team photo will continue following his move to Aston Villa.

No Sinclair To Celtic - But Crespo Off

It's being reported that Aston Villa have rejected a £2million offer from Celtic for Scott Sinclair, but Jose Angel Crespo wants the 'PAOK' option to bring an end to his time with us.

Petrov To Resume Villa Training

Aston Villa have confirmed that Stiliyan Petrov will join up with the boys for pre season training, and he's been invited by new manager Roberto Di Matteo to join...

Elphick Relishing Promotion Pressure

New signing, and Roberto Di Matteo's first capture from Bournemouth, Tommy Elphick has said he's relishing the pressure of helping Aston Villa return...

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Elphick?
Suggested By: JP Fear
Great, solid signing79%
Ok signing5%
Meh signing16%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
C Burnley 46 26 15 5 93 37
P Middlesbrough 46 26 11 9 89 32
3 Brighton 46 24 17 5 89 30
4 Hull City 46 24 11 11 83 34
5 Derby County 46 21 15 10 78 23
6 Sheff Wed 46 19 17 10 74 21
7 Ipswich 46 18 15 13 69 2
8 Cardiff 46 17 17 12 68 5
9 Brentford 46 19 8 19 65 5
10 Birmingham 46 16 15 15 63 4
11 Preston 46 15 17 14 62 0
12 Q.P.R. 46 14 18 14 60 0
13 Leeds Utd 46 14 17 15 59 -8
14 Wolves 46 14 16 16 58 -5
15 Blackburn 46 13 16 17 55 0
16 Forest 46 13 16 17 55 -4
17 Reading 46 13 13 20 52 -7
18 Bristol City 46 13 13 20 52 -17
19 Huddersfield 46 13 12 21 51 -11
20 Fulham 46 12 15 19 51 -13
21 Rotherham 46 13 10 23 49 -18
R Charlton 46 9 13 24 40 -40
R MK Dons 46 9 12 25 39 -30
R Bolton 46 5 15 26 30 -40
Vital Football Comment
Latest F1 News
Sainz expected to stay with Red Bull stable
Latest Vital Boxing News
Eubank Jnr Beats Doran with Ease
Write for Vital Football

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.The Fear377
2.sirdennis159
3.BodyButter154
4.Fulford136
5.JuanPabloAngel119
6.kefkat109
7.glensider92
8.DeanoVilla90
9.Melon Donkey82
10.Silhillvilla76
The Vital Football Members League