Hercs In The Dressing Room Pre Sunderland Match
*We join John Carew and Gabriel Agbonlahor approaching the dressing room before the match against Sunderland, they're much earlier than usual*
Gabby: I like goals.
Carew: I know Gabby, I know.
Gabby: Yeah ..... Like when you kick it in and the crowd goes 'Yay!'
Carew: Yeah, yeah. That's nice, sometimes I just like to relax out there too you know? Watch a game go by but it's is pretty cool to score.
Gabby: ... and you're all like 'Yippee!' and they're all like 'you're the daddy!' and you're like 'Again?'
*Carew looks confused*
*The lads can hear singing from the dressing room as they approach it.*
Heskey: Emile Heskey, Heskey. He's bigger than you or me, he's gonna score two or three, Em Heskey, Heskey!
Gabby: Is that Emile?
Carew: He's nicking my song!
*Gabby and Carew hurry to the doors, as they enter Heskey scrambles to screw a piece of paper in his hand into a ball and tidy away a subbuteo set*
Gabby: Wow subbuteo! Can I play?
Heskey: er... No the games over, sorry.
Gabby: That's OK we can start a new one.
*Gabby unfolds the pitch which was covering most of the players, he scans the the selection of Sunderland and Aston Villa figures, then gasps with horror*
Gabby: My legs!?
*The Gabby subbuteo player has had the base and legs broken off, Gabby touches his actual legs to confirm that they are intact*
Heskey: Yeah.... I ..... You're injured.
Carew: And what injury is it that I have!?
*Carew picks up his figure, only identifiable by the 'Carew 10' on the back .... The head has been removed*
Heskey: I .... Um.....
*Carew snatches the ball of paper from Heskey, shaking his head whilst lifting the Heskey player which literally has the ball glued to it's feet.*
Carew: And whats this ... The score?..... Aston Villa 8 - Sunderland 3? ...... You scored all our goals, won man of the match? ..... And .... I scored an Own Goal Hatrick!?
Heskey: You had a tough time out there, you're playing injured.
*Gabby holds up a dictaphone*
Gabby: What's this?
*Gabby presses play, the 'Em Heskey, Heskey' chant comes to an end, the tape continues*
Dictaphone-Heskey (with a commentator's voice): And can anyone stop Heskey? He's cutting through the Sunderland defence like a hot knife through butter.
*Carew and Gabby look sceptically at Heskey*
Heskey: What? His words not mine.
Dictaphone-Heskey (with a high pitched/ girl's voice): We love you Emile!
Dictaphone-Heskey (with a gruff, burly voice): You're useless Carew, absolutely useless!
*Gabby and Carew look at Heskey, eyebrows raised*
Heskey: What? You can't argue with the fans they ARE the club.
*MON enters the dressing room he's cleaning his glasses*
MON: Right Emile so are we ready to finish our preview of the mat..... Gabriel? John? .... You're .... Early.