Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

Hercs In The Dressing Room Post Wolves

Hercs In The Dressing Room Post Wolves

*We join John Carew who has been called for a meeting with MON after the draw with Wolves*

MON: Hi John,

Carew: Hi boss.

MON: Take a seat. Look, people are questioning whether you were offside for your two goals.

Carew: What? Even after the referreeing decisions at the league cup final?

MON: Yeah I know, I said that, ridiculous. But nonetheless football is a 'business' now, so like a business if you are seen to flagging in an area you must be re-trained.

Carew: Re-trained? But I score goals, well when I feel like it I do.

MON: Don't worry John, it won't be anything intensive just a bit of offside training, we'll be adopting the 'explaining offside to your girlfriend' method.

Carew: What's that?

*MON pushes forward a number of random items on his desk.*

MON: OK John, now you are this 1979 European Cup winners medal. The one I almost single handedly won.

Carew: O...K

MON: and the salt is a defender.

*MON holds up a salt shaker, Fabian Delph sticks his head around the door*

Delph: Assault a defender?!

MON: No Fabian.

*Delph groans and hangs his head.*

MON: Hang on, what's that in your hands?

Delph: This? It's Kevin Doyle's leg, Stilyan thought I might like it.

MON: Fabian! Give that back to Kevin at once! Right, what was I saying? Salt, last defender .... Oh ... John imagine my glasses case is Ashley Young.

Carew: Hi Ashley. How are you? Thanks for setting me up with that cross and....

MON: No, I mean just that it's a player and he has the ball.

Carew: Right.

MON: now if he plays you ... the medal ... (that I won) the ball when you're past the salt....

Carew: Here you go boss.

*Carew hands MON the salt*

MON: No, no I don't want the salt.

Carew: Why did you ask for it then?

MON: I didn't, I was just .... Forget it! Just score goals out there.

Carew: Right you are boss.

*Carew stands up to leave*

MON: Oh and don't forget your certificate.

*MON hands Carew a certificate*

Carew: A GNVQ in offside?

MON: Congratulations.

Win FREE pizza with Vital Football!
Select your team and get 50% off if they score twice.
www.papajohns.co.uk/football

Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs
Date:Monday March 22 2010
Time: 10:47AM

Comments

0
I wonder what certificates Heskey has got?! brilliant.
claretandbluearmy
22/03/2010 11:28:00
0
about as funny as aids
Adbo9
22/03/2010 12:15:00
0
"about as funny as aids, Adbo9" well that one's going on the billboard poster for the book above 5 stars lol
Hercs
22/03/2010 13:56:00
0
well done hercs...
vangogo
22/03/2010 14:41:00
0
well done hercs...
vangogo
22/03/2010 14:41:00
0
Good 'un Hercs. A much needed pick me up after Saturday's disappointment. Pity your articles aren't required reading in the dressing room, pre and post game. Keep 'em coming.
glensider
22/03/2010 19:23:00
0
Good 'un Hercs. A much needed pick me up after Saturday's disappointment. Pity your articles aren't required reading in the dressing room, pre and post game. Keep 'em coming.
glensider
22/03/2010 19:23:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Black Uses The Word Outstanding

Caretaker manager Eric Black has described the efforts of the players in the loss to Watford as outstanding.

Audio - Black On Outstanding Watford Performance

Caretaker manager Eric Black has hailed the players for being 'outstanding' in their efforts against Watford today, and for showing the correct will to win.

Stats: Watford v Villa

All the stats from Watford (3) vs (2) Villa, Vicarage Road, 30/4/16 Att: 20,653

Watford v Aston Villa - Team Sheets

Aston Villa are at Watford today, this is a 3pm kick-off - the line-ups have been confirmed.

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Watford MotM
Suggested By: Site Staff
Bunn3%
Clark50%
Lescott0%
Toner4%
Hutton4%
Westwood9%
Gana0%
Bacuna4%
Cissokho0%
Ayew22%
Gestede4%
Sub - Sanchez0%
Sub - Sinclair0%
ScoopDragon Premier League Network Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Leicester City 36 22 11 3 77 30
2 Spurs 35 19 12 4 69 39
3 Arsenal 36 19 10 7 67 25
4 Man City 36 19 7 10 64 30
5 Man Utd 35 17 9 9 60 12
6 West Ham 35 15 14 6 59 17
7 Southampton 36 16 9 11 57 14
8 Liverpool 35 15 10 10 55 11
9 Stoke 36 13 9 14 48 -14
10 Chelsea 34 12 11 11 47 7
11 Everton 35 10 14 11 44 6
12 Watford 35 12 8 15 44 -6
13 Swansea 36 11 10 15 43 -13
14 WBA 36 10 11 15 41 -14
15 AFC Bournemouth 36 11 8 17 41 -20
16 Crystal Palace 36 10 9 17 39 -10
17 Newcastle 36 8 9 19 33 -25
18 Sunderland 35 7 11 17 32 -18
19 Norwich 35 8 7 20 31 -26
R Aston Villa 36 3 7 26 16 -45
Write for Vital Football
Latest F1 News
2016 Russia GP - Race
Latest Vital Boxing News
Hughie Fury Wins After Cut Stops Fight
The Vital Football Members League

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

May 7 2016 3:00PM : Newcastle United (H)
Barclays Premier League
May 15 2016 3:00PM : Arsenal (a)
Barclays Premier League

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.Pride of Lions51
2.kefkat16
3.sirdennis9
4.villasince677
5.1958Villan6
6.DeanoVilla6
7.Silhillvilla6
8.The Fear6
9.distefano5
10.JW854
Vital Football Comment