Date:Monday March 22 2010
*We join John Carew who has been called for a meeting with MON after the draw with Wolves*
MON: Hi John,
Carew: Hi boss.
MON: Take a seat. Look, people are questioning whether you were offside for your two goals.
Carew: What? Even after the referreeing decisions at the league cup final?
MON: Yeah I know, I said that, ridiculous. But nonetheless football is a 'business' now, so like a business if you are seen to flagging in an area you must be re-trained.
Carew: Re-trained? But I score goals, well when I feel like it I do.
MON: Don't worry John, it won't be anything intensive just a bit of offside training, we'll be adopting the 'explaining offside to your girlfriend' method.
Carew: What's that?
*MON pushes forward a number of random items on his desk.*
MON: OK John, now you are this 1979 European Cup winners medal. The one I almost single handedly won.
MON: and the salt is a defender.
*MON holds up a salt shaker, Fabian Delph sticks his head around the door*
Delph: Assault a defender?!
MON: No Fabian.
*Delph groans and hangs his head.*
MON: Hang on, what's that in your hands?
Delph: This? It's Kevin Doyle's leg, Stilyan thought I might like it.
MON: Fabian! Give that back to Kevin at once! Right, what was I saying? Salt, last defender .... Oh ... John imagine my glasses case is Ashley Young.
Carew: Hi Ashley. How are you? Thanks for setting me up with that cross and....
MON: No, I mean just that it's a player and he has the ball.
MON: now if he plays you ... the medal ... (that I won) the ball when you're past the salt....
Carew: Here you go boss.
*Carew hands MON the salt*
MON: No, no I don't want the salt.
Carew: Why did you ask for it then?
MON: I didn't, I was just .... Forget it! Just score goals out there.
Carew: Right you are boss.
*Carew stands up to leave*
MON: Oh and don't forget your certificate.
*MON hands Carew a certificate*
Carew: A GNVQ in offside?
Date:Monday March 22 2010
Transfer Deadline Day Live Blog (Monday September 1 2014)
KEA Is Rejoining Feyenoord (Sunday August 31 2014)
Lambert Says Excellent - Today He's Right (Sunday August 31 2014)
Stats: Aston Villa v Hull (Sunday August 31 2014)
Given He'd Retired, Shay's In The Eire Squad (Sunday August 31 2014)
Bent No Longer For Sale? (Saturday August 30 2014)
Latest SCG Questions Published (Saturday August 30 2014)
Senderos - Build On The Clean Sheets (Saturday August 30 2014)
Lambert Looking For Clinical Improvements (Saturday August 30 2014)
Something For The Weekend (464) (Friday August 29 2014)
|1.||Pride of Lions||10|
|2.||Villan Of The North||2|
|3. Aston Villa||3||2||1||0||+2||7|
|4. Man City||3||2||0||1||+3||6|
|Cork Youngster Signs
» Hull City : 01/09/2014 08:30:00
|Aston Villa 2-1 Hull
» Hull City : 01/09/2014 08:29:00
|Van Ginkel Off to Milan
» Chelsea : 01/09/2014 07:46:00
|Remy - Pleased as Punch!
» Chelsea : 01/09/2014 07:35:00
|Welbeck Off On Loan?
» Man Utd : 01/09/2014 07:29:00