Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

Hercs In The Dressing Room Post Wolves

Hercs In The Dressing Room Post Wolves

*We join John Carew who has been called for a meeting with MON after the draw with Wolves*

MON: Hi John,

Carew: Hi boss.

MON: Take a seat. Look, people are questioning whether you were offside for your two goals.

Carew: What? Even after the referreeing decisions at the league cup final?

MON: Yeah I know, I said that, ridiculous. But nonetheless football is a 'business' now, so like a business if you are seen to flagging in an area you must be re-trained.

Carew: Re-trained? But I score goals, well when I feel like it I do.

MON: Don't worry John, it won't be anything intensive just a bit of offside training, we'll be adopting the 'explaining offside to your girlfriend' method.

Carew: What's that?

*MON pushes forward a number of random items on his desk.*

MON: OK John, now you are this 1979 European Cup winners medal. The one I almost single handedly won.

Carew: O...K

MON: and the salt is a defender.

*MON holds up a salt shaker, Fabian Delph sticks his head around the door*

Delph: Assault a defender?!

MON: No Fabian.

*Delph groans and hangs his head.*

MON: Hang on, what's that in your hands?

Delph: This? It's Kevin Doyle's leg, Stilyan thought I might like it.

MON: Fabian! Give that back to Kevin at once! Right, what was I saying? Salt, last defender .... Oh ... John imagine my glasses case is Ashley Young.

Carew: Hi Ashley. How are you? Thanks for setting me up with that cross and....

MON: No, I mean just that it's a player and he has the ball.

Carew: Right.

MON: now if he plays you ... the medal ... (that I won) the ball when you're past the salt....

Carew: Here you go boss.

*Carew hands MON the salt*

MON: No, no I don't want the salt.

Carew: Why did you ask for it then?

MON: I didn't, I was just .... Forget it! Just score goals out there.

Carew: Right you are boss.

*Carew stands up to leave*

MON: Oh and don't forget your certificate.

*MON hands Carew a certificate*

Carew: A GNVQ in offside?

MON: Congratulations.

Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs
Date:Monday March 22 2010
Time: 10:47AM

Comments

0
I wonder what certificates Heskey has got?! brilliant.
claretandbluearmy
22/03/2010 11:28:00
0
about as funny as aids
Adbo9
22/03/2010 12:15:00
0
"about as funny as aids, Adbo9" well that one's going on the billboard poster for the book above 5 stars lol
Hercs
22/03/2010 13:56:00
0
well done hercs...
vangogo
22/03/2010 14:41:00
0
well done hercs...
vangogo
22/03/2010 14:41:00
0
Good 'un Hercs. A much needed pick me up after Saturday's disappointment. Pity your articles aren't required reading in the dressing room, pre and post game. Keep 'em coming.
glensider
22/03/2010 19:23:00
0
Good 'un Hercs. A much needed pick me up after Saturday's disappointment. Pity your articles aren't required reading in the dressing room, pre and post game. Keep 'em coming.
glensider
22/03/2010 19:23:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Best of Vital Network

Vital Boxing - Selby Wants Frampton Next

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Video Lowlights Villa Away To Wolves + Stats/Reactions

The full match round up... I could summarise in one word really. Rubbish!

Vital Villa Man Of The Match v Wolves Away

Man of the match v Wolves. Seems more a vote for the best of the worst really doesn`t it?

Aston Villa: "What Do Points Make?"

Apologies for the title - I was looking for an inspirational Bruce quote. Unfortunately, the 'Bruce` I came up with was Forsyth rather than Steve.

Aston Villa Fans Rightly Angry After The Wolves Loss

The Aston Villa fans reactions to the loss v Wolves

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Wolves MotM
Suggested By: Site Staff
Johnstone5%
Hutton15%
Chester37%
Elphick5%
Amavi5%
Tshibola10%
Jedinak1%
Adomah1%
McCormack3%
Bacuna2%
Agbonlahor5%
Sub - Grealish0%
Sub - Green10%
Sub - Davis1%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Newcastle 26 18 1 7 55 29
2 Brighton 25 16 6 3 54 23
3 Leeds Utd 26 15 3 8 48 11
4 Reading 25 14 4 7 46 3
5 Huddersfield 26 14 4 8 46 0
6 Sheff Wed 26 13 6 7 45 6
7 Derby County 26 11 7 8 40 5
8 Fulham 25 10 9 6 39 13
9 Preston 26 11 6 9 39 3
10 Barnsley 26 11 5 10 38 4
11 Norwich 26 11 4 11 37 3
12 Birmingham 26 9 9 8 36 -5
13 Aston Villa 26 8 11 7 35 1
14 Ipswich 26 9 7 10 34 -3
15 Brentford 26 9 6 11 33 0
16 Wolves 26 8 8 10 32 -1
17 Q.P.R. 26 9 5 12 32 -11
18 Cardiff 25 8 6 11 30 -10
19 Bristol City 26 8 3 15 27 -3
20 Forest 26 7 6 13 27 -8
21 Burton 26 6 7 13 25 -10
22 Blackburn 26 6 6 14 24 -12
23 Wigan 26 5 7 14 22 -9
24 Rotherham 26 4 4 18 16 -29
Vital Football Comment
Latest F1 News
Australia prepares for 2017 F1
Latest Vital Boxing News
DeGale Retains IBF Title in Majority Draw
Write for Vital Football

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Jan 21 2017 3:00PM : Preston North End (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Jan 28 2017 3:00PM : Bristol City (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Jan 31 2017 7:45PM : Brentford (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Feb 4 2017 5:30PM : Nottingham Forest (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Feb 11 2017 3:00PM : Ipswich Town (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Feb 14 2017 7:45PM : Barnsley (H)
Sky Bet Championship

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.The Fear377
2.JuanPabloAngel265
3.Silhillvilla241
4.sirdennis199
5.Fulford185
6.Villan57165
7.Melon Donkey124
8.BodyButter98
9.danvilla285
10.kefkat79
The Vital Football Members League