Hercs In The Dressing Room Pre Wolves Match
*We join the lads preparing to play Wolves.*
MON: OK lads OK, lets calm down. Now the March hoo-doo has been dealt with I expect us to 'march' on to triumph!
*MON pauses for a laugh. There isn't one*
MON: Boo!? Did someone boo my joke?
*The lads all point at Heskey, MON cuts him an icy stare*
Heskey: What!? It wasn't .... I mean I didn't ... erm..... I wasn't booing I said 'Boorilliant'...... I was doing a Black Country accent.... Because we're playing Wolves.
MON: Oh... Right. Anyway, against Wolves these two are the pair we're really going to have to look out for.
*MON extends a telescopic pointer and taps on two pictures on the board. Ashley Young points to the first*
A.Young: Who's that?
MON: Who's that? It's Steve Bull! "Bully", look at him there with his cheeky smile.
MON: Steve Bull, you know Wolves player, played for England, great striker.
A.Young: Never heard of him.
MON: That's because he has what few players have nowadays. Loyalty, like Alan Shearer he didn't wander to one of the 'big teams' for glory.
Collins: So basically they were scared of the challenge and failure?
*MON points the pointer at Collins*
Milner: and who's tha other wun like?
MON: This? This is Noddy Holder.
Milner: Does he play football like?
MON: Heavens no, their players aren't going to be a threat, I just thought I'd give you something to look for out there when you're tired of giving Wolves a hiding.
*MON pauses again*
MON: Thankyou. Now people have questioned whether I will rotate the team like I said I would. First team, stand up.
*The familiar first team line-up stand up*
MON: Now turn 180 degrees.
*They all turn, Gabby is spinning in circles like dog chasing it's tail, Heskey takes considerably longer to make the turn*
MON: And again.
*They all turn again facing MON once more*
MON: And sit. Rotation complete.