Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

Hercs In The Dressing Room Pre Wigan Match

Hercs In The Dressing Room Pre Wigan Match

*We join the lads preparing to play Wigan*

MON: Alright lads settle down, settle down. Now it's normally the way that a striker returning to his old club is bound to score against them. Unfortunately for us the player returning is Emile.

*The dressing room erupts with laughter*

MON: .... Where is Emile?

*Ashley Young raises his hand*

A.Young: He went off with his banjo boss, said something about seeing a farm on the way here.

MON: Right.

*Heskey arrives with a pristine banjo*

MON: Ah Emile, glad you could join us.

Heskey: You know you'd be surprised how agile cows actually are.

MON: Quite. Now it's revenge time, these fellas beat us on the first day of the season, the fans raised questions about me. Me! Martin O'Neill! Can you believe that? I mean have I ever told you I've won the european cup!?

A.Young: Yeah you tell us every week boss.

MON: Tell you what?

Downing: That you won tha European Cup like.

MON: That's right, I won it, so don't you forget it.

Carew: It's hard to forget when you make us wear these shirts when we're not playing.

*holds up one of the lads T-Shirts with 'Martin O'Neill European Cup Winner '79 & '80' and a picture below of a young Martin hands aloft in a Notts Forest kit*

MON: Fine shirts, fine shirts and John nobody's forcing you to wear them.

Collins: It's in our contracts!

MON: Enough about how much you love to wear my t-shirts. Defence there's every chance you'll come up against Jason Scotland tonight so if you're struggling to make a clearance, pass it to him.

*The defence chuckle*

Heskey: Ah It'll be nice to see Jason again.

MON: Yes, it's obvious he's reaping the benefits from your expert tutelage.

*The dressing room erupts with laughter*



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs
Date:Tuesday March 16 2010
Time: 2:37PM

Best of Vital Network

Comments

0
Quality as always.......is it strange that I now want to know about the other players - the more minor characters!! Beyond Carew, Heskey, Gabby and Delph!!
deano.avfc
16/03/2010 15:01:00
0
I thought the expression was "couldnt hit a barn door with a banjo" or is Heskey just THAT stupid ? - Lets hope he proves us wrong....
Mat777
16/03/2010 15:33:00
0
Mat777, that's the clean version. For footie fans it's gotta be "cow's a*se". Anyway, the mental picture of Heskey chasing a cow with a banjo is funnier than him swinging at a wooden door.
andy5759
16/03/2010 16:06:00
0
Mat777, that's the clean version. For footie fans it's gotta be "cow's a*se". Anyway, the mental picture of Heskey chasing a cow with a banjo is funnier than him swinging at a wooden door.
andy5759
16/03/2010 16:06:00
0
4-3 to the Villa .
Doug4ever
16/03/2010 16:11:00
0
well I have a feeling he is going to score! not long to wait and see now!
villa_de
16/03/2010 17:55:00
0
well I have a feeling he is going to score! not long to wait and see now!
villa_de
16/03/2010 17:55:00
0
Nothing but a win will do tonight
lost_in_ca
16/03/2010 18:11:00
0
Nothing but a win will do tonight
lost_in_ca
16/03/2010 18:11:00
0
Yess finally won in march in the leaguee :) Only 3points behind 4th now with a game inhand against Hull :) Wolvas next, lovely
Blitz
16/03/2010 21:47:00
Page 1/2
  1. 1
  2. 2

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Barnsley Frustration For RDM

Roberto Di Matteo was again left ruing a late conceded goal in our trip to Oakwell and Barnsley last night.

A Fan Convinced RDM Cannot Arrest This Form

A worrying post from hightrinity on Roberto Di Matteo and his inabilities at all the manager jobs he's had.

Villa Fan Says The Problems Are Not Mental For Players

Glensider says the talk of our problems being a mental issue with the players is hogwash...

Video Highlights & Fans Reactions To Barnsley Draw

Video of the Barnsley draw and Aston Villa fans reactions.

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Barnsley MotM
Suggested By: Site Staff
Gollini5%
Bacuna5%
Elphick0%
Chester2%
Cissokho0%
Adomah2%
Tshibola2%
Jedinak0%
Grealish2%
Kodjia28%
Ayew47%
Sub - Westwood2%
Sub - Gestede5%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Huddersfield 10 7 1 2 22 5
2 Norwich 10 6 2 2 20 5
3 Newcastle 10 6 1 3 19 11
4 Brighton 10 5 3 2 18 6
5 Brentford 10 5 2 3 17 9
6 Bristol City 10 5 2 3 17 6
7 Birmingham 10 4 5 1 17 4
8 Sheff Wed 10 5 2 3 17 0
9 Reading 10 5 2 3 17 -3
10 Barnsley 10 5 1 4 16 6
11 Wolves 10 4 3 3 15 2
12 Fulham 10 3 5 2 14 -2
13 Ipswich 10 3 4 3 13 0
14 Leeds Utd 10 4 1 5 13 -2
15 Forest 10 3 3 4 12 -2
16 Q.P.R. 10 3 3 4 12 -4
17 Aston Villa 10 1 7 2 10 0
18 Burton 10 2 4 4 10 -2
19 Preston 10 3 1 6 10 -4
20 Derby County 10 2 3 5 9 -4
21 Wigan 10 2 2 6 8 -2
22 Blackburn 10 2 2 6 8 -7
23 Cardiff 10 2 2 6 8 -9
24 Rotherham 10 1 3 6 6 -13
Write for Vital Football
Latest F1 News
Blog: Sepang Preview
Latest Vital Boxing News
Tyson Fury Medical Status Definition Required
The Vital Football Members League

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Oct 1 2016 3:00PM : Preston North End (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Oct 15 2016 5:30PM : Wolverhampton Wanderers (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Oct 18 2016 8:00PM : Reading (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Oct 22 2016 3:00PM : Fulham (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Oct 30 2016 12:00PM : Birmingham City (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Nov 5 2016 3:00PM : Blackburn Rovers (H)
Sky Bet Championship

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.The Fear623
2.sirdennis366
3.glensider362
4.Fulford331
5.Melon Donkey237
6.Silhillvilla235
7.villasince67187
8.kefkat176
9.DeanoVilla146
10.holtelower143
Vital Football Comment