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Hercs In The Dressing Room Pre Wigan Match

*We join the lads preparing to play Wigan*

MON: Alright lads settle down, settle down. Now it's normally the way that a striker returning to his old club is bound to score against them. Unfortunately for us the player returning is Emile.

*The dressing room erupts with laughter*

MON: .... Where is Emile?

*Ashley Young raises his hand*

A.Young: He went off with his banjo boss, said something about seeing a farm on the way here.

MON: Right.

*Heskey arrives with a pristine banjo*

MON: Ah Emile, glad you could join us.

Heskey: You know you'd be surprised how agile cows actually are.

MON: Quite. Now it's revenge time, these fellas beat us on the first day of the season, the fans raised questions about me. Me! Martin O'Neill! Can you believe that? I mean have I ever told you I've won the european cup!?

A.Young: Yeah you tell us every week boss.

MON: Tell you what?

Downing: That you won tha European Cup like.

MON: That's right, I won it, so don't you forget it.

Carew: It's hard to forget when you make us wear these shirts when we're not playing.

*holds up one of the lads T-Shirts with 'Martin O'Neill European Cup Winner '79 & '80' and a picture below of a young Martin hands aloft in a Notts Forest kit*

MON: Fine shirts, fine shirts and John nobody's forcing you to wear them.

Collins: It's in our contracts!

MON: Enough about how much you love to wear my t-shirts. Defence there's every chance you'll come up against Jason Scotland tonight so if you're struggling to make a clearance, pass it to him.

*The defence chuckle*

Heskey: Ah It'll be nice to see Jason again.

MON: Yes, it's obvious he's reaping the benefits from your expert tutelage.

*The dressing room erupts with laughter*




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The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Tuesday March 16 2010

Time: 2:37PM

Your Comments

Quality as always.......is it strange that I now want to know about the other players - the more minor characters!! Beyond Carew, Heskey, Gabby and Delph!!
deano.avfc
I thought the expression was "couldnt hit a barn door with a banjo" or is Heskey just THAT stupid ? - Lets hope he proves us wrong....
Mat777
Mat777, that's the clean version. For footie fans it's gotta be "cow's a*se". Anyway, the mental picture of Heskey chasing a cow with a banjo is funnier than him swinging at a wooden door.
andy5759
Mat777, that's the clean version. For footie fans it's gotta be "cow's a*se". Anyway, the mental picture of Heskey chasing a cow with a banjo is funnier than him swinging at a wooden door.
andy5759
4-3 to the Villa .
Doug4ever
well I have a feeling he is going to score! not long to wait and see now!
villa_de
well I have a feeling he is going to score! not long to wait and see now!
villa_de
Nothing but a win will do tonight
lost_in_ca
Nothing but a win will do tonight
lost_in_ca
Yess finally won in march in the leaguee :) Only 3points behind 4th now with a game inhand against Hull :) Wolvas next, lovely
Blitz
Yess finally won in march in the leaguee :) Only 3points behind 4th now with a game inhand against Hull :) Wolvas next, lovely
Blitz
what next i cant wait for post wigan game
kainga
what next i cant wait for post wigan game
kainga
 

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