UK time is: 10:50:07
Vital Login
Social Login

Choose your club

Other Sites

Network Navigation

Vital Partners

'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Hercs In The Dressing Room After the Stoke Match

*We join the lads mulling over their 0-0 draw against Stoke, MON is celebrating like he's won the world cup*

MON: Yippee!!

*Milner whispers to Ashley Young*

Milner: Why's the boss celebrating like that man?

A.Young: Because it's the middle of March and we've not lost yet.

*MON immediately stops celebrating and his face contorts with rage*

MON: Who said it!? Who said the name of the month I said was never to be said in the dressing room!?

*The lads all sheepishly point at Heskey*

Heskey: What!? I didn't ... I mean.... It wasn't.

MON: Emile! A man of your age and discernable lack of striking ability should know better.

Heskey: Don't put me on the chair boss, please, I didn't even say 'March'.

MON: That's it! 'Funny man' are you!? Do I need to remind you what happened to Nigel!?

.....

*Nigel Reo-Coker is handcuffed to a radiator in a dank room somewhere in bodymoor heath, there appears to be nothing in the room but a saw, tears are streaming down his face*

NRC: I only suggested that we play a right back at right back.

....

Heskey: Sorry boss.

MON: As this is a day for celebration I'll show mercy Emile but know this....

*MON points to his eyes with two fingers then at Heskey with them*

MON: Anyway, OK game lads, we couldn't possibly be expected to win with that wind.

Gabby: Sorry boss, don't think my stomach's right yet.

MON: No, I mean, nevermind. John where were the goals?

*Carew doesn't look up from filing his nails*

Carew: Nah, not today.

MON: I ... um .... OK.




Use your social login to comment on front page articles. Login using you Facebook, Twitter, Google or LinkedIn accounts and have your say!



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Monday March 15 2010

Time: 10:45AM

Your Comments

on form as usual!
The Fear
on form as usual!
The Fear
ha ha ha
vangogo
ha ha ha
vangogo
brilliant...
duggan8
brilliant...
duggan8
Carew, nah not today!! how true is that? great stuff.
claretandbluearmy
LOL I loved the saw reference! had me lmao!
Astriel
LOL I loved the saw reference! had me lmao!
Astriel
Good one Hercs. Good to get a laugh out of what was a relatively poor performance. You sure you haven't got an 'insider' in the dressing room, and your spoof post game talk actually took place? Keep 'em coming.
glensider
Good one Hercs. Good to get a laugh out of what was a relatively poor performance. You sure you haven't got an 'insider' in the dressing room, and your spoof post game talk actually took place? Keep 'em coming.
glensider
 

Have Your Say

Log in...
with your social network     OR     with your Vital account

Recent Articles

Villa Confirm Suspensions (Tuesday April 15 2014)

Culverhouse and Karsa Suspended (Tuesday April 15 2014)

U21s Lose To Chelsea (Monday April 14 2014)

Grizzly: Palace away (Sunday April 13 2014)

Archived Articles

List All Vital Villa Articles
Have your say
Click here to suggest an article
Click here to suggest a poll

Vital Members League (view all)

1. Pride of Lions 805
2. The Fear 686
3. ClivetheVillan 262
4. Barney2004 245
5. Villan57 214
6. sirdennis 182
7. Villan Of The North 182
8. tarzan 180
9. BlackCountry Villa 166
10. Sussex Villan 165

League Results (view all)

League Table (view table)

Team P W D L GD Pts
11. Crystal Palace 34 12 4 18 -14 40
12. West Ham 34 10 7 17 -9 37
13. Hull City 33 10 6 17 -6 36
14. Aston Villa 33 9 7 17 -14 34
15. Swansea 34 8 9 17 -5 33
16. WBA 33 6 15 12 -11 33
17. Norwich 34 8 8 18 -27 32

Breaking League News

Everton hand advantage back to Arsenal
Everton : 17/04/2014 09:00:00
Everton : 17/04/2014 08:44:00
Pardew Defence League
Newcastle : 17/04/2014 08:41:00
More Courtois Mischief?
Chelsea : 17/04/2014 07:44:00
Liverpool: Sturridge In Fitness Race
Liverpool : 17/04/2014 07:44:00
Drogba on the Move!
Chelsea : 17/04/2014 07:42:00
Twist and Shake
Chelsea : 17/04/2014 07:19:00

Current Site Poll (view all polls)

How many more points will we get this season?
Suggested By:  villa2stoke1
0 33%
1 15%
2 9%
3 14%
4 15%
5 3%
5-10 7%
11+ (in your dreams) 4%