Hercs In The Dressing Room After the Stoke Match
*We join the lads mulling over their 0-0 draw against Stoke, MON is celebrating like he's won the world cup*
*Milner whispers to Ashley Young*
Milner: Why's the boss celebrating like that man?
A.Young: Because it's the middle of March and we've not lost yet.
*MON immediately stops celebrating and his face contorts with rage*
MON: Who said it!? Who said the name of the month I said was never to be said in the dressing room!?
*The lads all sheepishly point at Heskey*
Heskey: What!? I didn't ... I mean.... It wasn't.
MON: Emile! A man of your age and discernable lack of striking ability should know better.
Heskey: Don't put me on the chair boss, please, I didn't even say 'March'.
MON: That's it! 'Funny man' are you!? Do I need to remind you what happened to Nigel!?
*Nigel Reo-Coker is handcuffed to a radiator in a dank room somewhere in bodymoor heath, there appears to be nothing in the room but a saw, tears are streaming down his face*
NRC: I only suggested that we play a right back at right back.
Heskey: Sorry boss.
MON: As this is a day for celebration I'll show mercy Emile but know this....
*MON points to his eyes with two fingers then at Heskey with them*
MON: Anyway, OK game lads, we couldn't possibly be expected to win with that wind.
Gabby: Sorry boss, don't think my stomach's right yet.
MON: No, I mean, nevermind. John where were the goals?
*Carew doesn't look up from filing his nails*
Carew: Nah, not today.
MON: I ... um .... OK.