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Hercs In The Dressing Room pre Stoke City

*We join the lads preparing for their match against Stoke City*

MON: Right lads we're going to need to defend like lions here I ..... Hang on, where are all the defenders?

*The lads look all around, there are no defenders to be seen, the song 'Blame it on the Boogie' can be heard approaching the dressing room from the hall.*

MON: What the devil?

*The door bursts open and Luke Young, James Collins, Richard Dunne and Stephen Warnock stride in, Collin's is holding a large portable radio*

L.Young: Don't you blame it on the sunshine...

Collins: Don't blame it on the moonlight....

Dunne: We're flying without wings .... I mean ... Damn it!...

Warnock: Blame it on the boogie!

*Delph stands*

Delph: I just can't control my feet!

*Delph boots Sidwell in the shins, Sidwell screams loudly.*

Warnock: Hey nice catching the lyrics there Fabian.

Delph: What lyrics?

MON: Enough of this tomfoolery! James switch that ghetto blaster off at once.

Collins: My what boss?

*The dressing room erupts with laughter as Collins turns off the stereo*

MON: Now what is all this? Why are you four dressed as the Jackson 5!?

*MON eyes the defenders from their flares to their unfeasibly large afros, Collins is combing out his ginger mane*

Collins: You said we'd have to match Rory Delap's 'fro boss.

MON: Yes I said you have to match Delap's throw.

*the defender's point to their ''fros'*

MON: His LONG throw!

Warnock: Our 'fros are pretty long.

*MON is now seething*

MON: No! His....

*Carlos Cuellar strolls in*

Cuellar: Och, sorry I'm late boss.

MON: Carlos I thought better of you, joining this rabble and dressing as a member of the Jackson 5 and with that ridiculous hair!

Cuellar: Dressing as who? This is what I wear every week?




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The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Friday March 12 2010

Time: 9:53AM

Your Comments

gay
Adbo9
gay
Adbo9
A little more sureal this week, but still fab :-)
davidsands1982
are you high?
Daz Hotspurs
are you high?
Daz Hotspurs
love it, so funny. The Delph part made me lol !
The Fear
love it, so funny. The Delph part made me lol !
The Fear
lol - yeah the Delph bit got me too!
worto03
lol - yeah the Delph bit got me too!
worto03
Adbo9 I can assure you that that photoshoot was just a marketing ploy to get the pink pound() lol
Hercs
Adbo9 I can assure you that that photoshoot was just a marketing ploy to get the pink pound() lol
Hercs
My problem is having a vivid imagination: I can picture these situations clearly. It hurts sometimes.
andy5759
Great stuff Hercs. You really do write some enjoyable and entertaining stuff. Keep 'em coming. This individual is a huge fan. There was a vacant place for some genuinely jocular stuff on this excellent site, and your writings help fill the void tremendously.
glensider
Great stuff Hercs. You really do write some enjoyable and entertaining stuff. Keep 'em coming. This individual is a huge fan. There was a vacant place for some genuinely jocular stuff on this excellent site, and your writings help fill the void tremendously.
glensider
 

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