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Hercs In The Dressing Room pre Stoke City

*We join the lads preparing for their match against Stoke City*

MON: Right lads we're going to need to defend like lions here I ..... Hang on, where are all the defenders?

*The lads look all around, there are no defenders to be seen, the song 'Blame it on the Boogie' can be heard approaching the dressing room from the hall.*

MON: What the devil?

*The door bursts open and Luke Young, James Collins, Richard Dunne and Stephen Warnock stride in, Collin's is holding a large portable radio*

L.Young: Don't you blame it on the sunshine...

Collins: Don't blame it on the moonlight....

Dunne: We're flying without wings .... I mean ... Damn it!...

Warnock: Blame it on the boogie!

*Delph stands*

Delph: I just can't control my feet!

*Delph boots Sidwell in the shins, Sidwell screams loudly.*

Warnock: Hey nice catching the lyrics there Fabian.

Delph: What lyrics?

MON: Enough of this tomfoolery! James switch that ghetto blaster off at once.

Collins: My what boss?

*The dressing room erupts with laughter as Collins turns off the stereo*

MON: Now what is all this? Why are you four dressed as the Jackson 5!?

*MON eyes the defenders from their flares to their unfeasibly large afros, Collins is combing out his ginger mane*

Collins: You said we'd have to match Rory Delap's 'fro boss.

MON: Yes I said you have to match Delap's throw.

*the defender's point to their ''fros'*

MON: His LONG throw!

Warnock: Our 'fros are pretty long.

*MON is now seething*

MON: No! His....

*Carlos Cuellar strolls in*

Cuellar: Och, sorry I'm late boss.

MON: Carlos I thought better of you, joining this rabble and dressing as a member of the Jackson 5 and with that ridiculous hair!

Cuellar: Dressing as who? This is what I wear every week?




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The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Friday March 12 2010

Time: 9:53AM

Your Comments (oldest first)

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gay
Adbo9
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12/03/2010 11:03:00

gay
Adbo9
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12/03/2010 11:03:00

A little more sureal this week, but still fab :-)
davidsands1982
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12/03/2010 11:07:00

are you high?
Daz Hotspurs
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12/03/2010 11:19:00

are you high?
Daz Hotspurs
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12/03/2010 11:19:00

love it, so funny. The Delph part made me lol !
The Fear
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12/03/2010 11:51:00

love it, so funny. The Delph part made me lol !
The Fear
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12/03/2010 11:51:00

lol - yeah the Delph bit got me too!
worto03
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12/03/2010 12:18:00

lol - yeah the Delph bit got me too!
worto03
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12/03/2010 12:18:00

Adbo9 I can assure you that that photoshoot was just a marketing ploy to get the pink pound() lol
Hercs
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12/03/2010 12:25:00

Adbo9 I can assure you that that photoshoot was just a marketing ploy to get the pink pound() lol
Hercs
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12/03/2010 12:25:00

My problem is having a vivid imagination: I can picture these situations clearly. It hurts sometimes.
andy5759
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12/03/2010 16:10:00

Great stuff Hercs. You really do write some enjoyable and entertaining stuff. Keep 'em coming. This individual is a huge fan. There was a vacant place for some genuinely jocular stuff on this excellent site, and your writings help fill the void tremendously.
glensider
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12/03/2010 23:31:00

Great stuff Hercs. You really do write some enjoyable and entertaining stuff. Keep 'em coming. This individual is a huge fan. There was a vacant place for some genuinely jocular stuff on this excellent site, and your writings help fill the void tremendously.
glensider
Report Abuse
12/03/2010 23:31:00

 

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