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Hercs In The Dressing Room Post Reading Cup Match

*We join the lads rejoicing after their 4-2 victory over Reading. Most of them are cleaning tea off the walls and sweeping up broken china from half-time.*

MON: See lads, that wasn't so hard was it?

*MON packs away his blow torch, Gabby emerges from the toilets*

Gabby: Is it over? How'd you guys get on?

A.Young: We won Gabby, but why didn't you play?

Gabby: I'm no good at reading.

A.Young: Reading? What's that got to do with ...... Oh, we weren't 'reading'... like books Gab.

Carew: I was reading the defenders like books.

*The dressing room erupts with laughter*

MON (wiping a tear away): Oh John when you're not totally disrespecting the team and everything it stands for with lacklustre, disinterested performances you're amazing.

Carew: Well, you know me.

*Carew shrugs his shoulders with an amusing frown, everyone hugs him whilst laughing*

All the lads: We love you John.

Carew: Yeah, yeah I know.

Heskey: What about me? I had a hand in every goal and won us possession about 90% of the time out there.

*Heskey grins widely whilst holding his arms out for a 'team hug'*

MON: Sssssh Emile, look John's flexing his biceps.

Carew: Oh Yeah! Check out the gun show!

*The lads ignore Heskey and are applauding and whooping the 'show'*

Heskey: I mean I know I didn't score but I....

MON: Emile! Now that's enough out of you! Sit on the 'No Goal' chair!

Heskey: But...

MON: Chair!

*Heskey saunters over to a chair facing the wall which crudely has 'No Goals' written on the back, He slumps into it, folds his arms and kicks the wall*

Heskey: Stupid Carew and his stupid goals I should...

MON: What are you mumbling over there Emile!?

Heskey: Nothing boss!




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The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Monday March 8 2010

Time: 10:37AM

Your Comments (oldest first)

Change to most recent first
LOL, love the idea of a humiliating 'No Goals Chair' priceless
Thanks Hercs, stunning as always
davidsands1982
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08/03/2010 11:09:00

LOL, love the idea of a humiliating 'No Goals Chair' priceless
Thanks Hercs, stunning as always
davidsands1982
Report Abuse
08/03/2010 11:09:00

I love it. as usual, I have to fight back bursting out in laughter in case anyone at work realises I am doing feck all on the tinterweb.
Stig
Report Abuse
08/03/2010 11:31:00

I love it. as usual, I have to fight back bursting out in laughter in case anyone at work realises I am doing feck all on the tinterweb.
Stig
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08/03/2010 11:31:00

no good at reading... lol.
The Fear
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08/03/2010 11:42:00

no good at reading... lol.
The Fear
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08/03/2010 11:42:00

excellent again.
johnmurphy3112
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08/03/2010 13:44:00

excellent again.
johnmurphy3112
Report Abuse
08/03/2010 13:44:00

I wonder if MON reads these? Hehe like the chair :>
thorpyuk
Report Abuse
08/03/2010 22:15:00

I wonder if MON reads these? Hehe like the chair :>
thorpyuk
Report Abuse
08/03/2010 22:15:00

 

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