Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

Hercs In The Dressing Room Post Reading Cup Match

Hercs In The Dressing Room Post Reading Cup Match

*We join the lads rejoicing after their 4-2 victory over Reading. Most of them are cleaning tea off the walls and sweeping up broken china from half-time.*

MON: See lads, that wasn't so hard was it?

*MON packs away his blow torch, Gabby emerges from the toilets*

Gabby: Is it over? How'd you guys get on?

A.Young: We won Gabby, but why didn't you play?

Gabby: I'm no good at reading.

A.Young: Reading? What's that got to do with ...... Oh, we weren't 'reading'... like books Gab.

Carew: I was reading the defenders like books.

*The dressing room erupts with laughter*

MON (wiping a tear away): Oh John when you're not totally disrespecting the team and everything it stands for with lacklustre, disinterested performances you're amazing.

Carew: Well, you know me.

*Carew shrugs his shoulders with an amusing frown, everyone hugs him whilst laughing*

All the lads: We love you John.

Carew: Yeah, yeah I know.

Heskey: What about me? I had a hand in every goal and won us possession about 90% of the time out there.

*Heskey grins widely whilst holding his arms out for a 'team hug'*

MON: Sssssh Emile, look John's flexing his biceps.

Carew: Oh Yeah! Check out the gun show!

*The lads ignore Heskey and are applauding and whooping the 'show'*

Heskey: I mean I know I didn't score but I....

MON: Emile! Now that's enough out of you! Sit on the 'No Goal' chair!

Heskey: But...

MON: Chair!

*Heskey saunters over to a chair facing the wall which crudely has 'No Goals' written on the back, He slumps into it, folds his arms and kicks the wall*

Heskey: Stupid Carew and his stupid goals I should...

MON: What are you mumbling over there Emile!?

Heskey: Nothing boss!



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs
Date:Monday March 8 2010
Time: 10:37AM

Comments

0
LOL, love the idea of a humiliating 'No Goals Chair' priceless
Thanks Hercs, stunning as always
davidsands1982
08/03/2010 11:09:00
0
LOL, love the idea of a humiliating 'No Goals Chair' priceless
Thanks Hercs, stunning as always
davidsands1982
08/03/2010 11:09:00
0
I love it. as usual, I have to fight back bursting out in laughter in case anyone at work realises I am doing feck all on the tinterweb.
Stig
08/03/2010 11:31:00
0
I love it. as usual, I have to fight back bursting out in laughter in case anyone at work realises I am doing feck all on the tinterweb.
Stig
08/03/2010 11:31:00
0
no good at reading... lol.
The Fear
08/03/2010 11:42:00
0
no good at reading... lol.
The Fear
08/03/2010 11:42:00
0
excellent again.
johnmurphy3112
08/03/2010 13:44:00
0
excellent again.
johnmurphy3112
08/03/2010 13:44:00
0
I wonder if MON reads these? Hehe like the chair :>
thorpyuk
08/03/2010 22:15:00
0
I wonder if MON reads these? Hehe like the chair :>
thorpyuk
08/03/2010 22:15:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Chester Calls For Villa Response

Following defeat to Leeds United over the weekend at Elland Road, centre half James Chester has called on the Aston Villa players to show a reaction when we face Wigan...

Sky's 10 In 10 - Who Features?

Sky Sports being their festive 10 in 10 this week, so who features in the football screening overload for 2016/17?

Villa Fan Who Recommended Vardy Has Another Target In Sight

Stennyvilla recommended Vardy years ago, he's got another target in sight for Aston Villa now...

Fear The Blogger Pt 8 - We Lost - Bruce Out

My regular blog in The Sun including my top five reasons I don't miss the Premiership, the Leeds Utd match plus a link to HS2 issue

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

The Vital Villa Player Of November
Suggested By: JP Fear
Gollini10%
Hutton3%
Chester3%
Baker9%
Westwood5%
Amavi1%
Jedinak33%
Gardner1%
Grealish1%
Gestede1%
Kodjia27%
Adomah 5%
Ayew1%
Other0%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Newcastle 19 13 1 5 40 21
2 Brighton 19 11 6 2 39 17
3 Reading 19 10 4 5 34 1
4 Leeds Utd 19 10 2 7 32 3
5 Birmingham 19 8 7 4 31 2
6 Sheff Wed 19 9 4 6 31 1
7 Norwich 19 9 3 7 30 4
8 Huddersfield 19 9 3 7 30 -3
9 Derby County 19 8 5 6 29 4
10 Fulham 19 7 7 5 28 9
11 Bristol City 19 8 3 8 27 4
12 Barnsley 19 7 4 8 25 3
13 Forest 19 7 4 8 25 1
14 Preston 19 7 4 8 25 1
15 Aston Villa 19 5 10 4 25 1
16 Ipswich 19 6 6 7 24 -2
17 Q.P.R. 19 6 5 8 23 -8
18 Brentford 19 6 4 9 22 -2
19 Burton 19 5 7 7 22 -4
20 Wolves 19 5 6 8 21 -3
21 Blackburn 19 5 5 9 20 -7
22 Cardiff 19 5 4 10 19 -12
23 Wigan 19 4 6 9 18 -5
24 Rotherham 19 1 4 14 7 -26
Vital Football Comment
Latest F1 News
Lauda annoyed by Rosberg retirement
Latest Vital Boxing News
Don’t Do It Floyd Mayweather Jnr
Write for Vital Football

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Dec 10 2016 3:00PM : Wigan Athletic (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Dec 13 2016 7:45PM : Norwich City (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Dec 18 2016 12:00PM : Queens Park Rangers (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Dec 26 2016 3:00PM : Burton Albion (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Dec 29 2016 7:45PM : Leeds United (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Jan 2 2017 3:00PM : Cardiff City (a)
Sky Bet Championship

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.The Fear150
2.JuanPabloAngel104
3.HeathfieldRoad187470
4.sirdennis65
5.BodyButter47
6.Stephen Jay Hawkings36
7.Wurzel35
8.TuBBz33
9.DeanoVilla28
10.Melon Donkey27
The Vital Football Members League