Hercs In The Dressing Room Post Final Match
*We join the lads glum after their narrow defeat in the final*
MON: I want to see chins up lads, you're all champions to me and the fans out there!
Gabby: Does that mean we get the cup boss?
MON: No Gabriel.
*Gabby frowns then removes a large bag of pears from his shorts and sets them on a table, the lads look at each other confused*
Gabby: Well, that didn't work then.
MON: Gabriel, why did you bring a bag of pears on the pitch?
Gabby: I was watching Match of the Day before we went out and Alan Shearer said 'The real threat to Man United will be Agbonlahor's pears'
MON: Pace Gabriel, pace. It's just his regional accent.
*Gabby looks confused*
Gabby: Accent? I thought you had to be english to play for England?
MON: Gabriel he's .... Ah nevermind. Anyway lads I can only apologise, I had concentrated so much of our pre-match preperation on Wayne Rooney I hadn't even considered Manchester United's most potent threat. Phil Dowd.
Dunne: He was just everywhere on the pitch bass, unplayable.
MON: I know Richard, I know. He's a quite a talent.
*The door knocks, MON opens the door to Sir Alex Ferguson and Phil Dowd arm in arm Ferguson with the Carling Cup full of champagne, Dowd is holding the bottle.*
MON: Hi Sir Alex congrat....
SAF: That's Sir Alex!
MON: I said ...
SAF: Don't interrupt when I'm talkin' ta ye I'm a sir! Anyway ... What was I saying?
Dowd: Woooooooo! United! .... er .... I mean Wooooooo! Unbiased fairness!
SAF: Aye that was it, I thought you might want to congratulate me and Phil.
MON: I just tried to con ....
SAF: Will ya stop interruptin' me Martin'?
MON: You'd stopped talking Sir Alex. Besides why would I congratulate Phil Dowd?
Dowd: I got Man of the Match. Can I celebrate now Mr.Sir Alex sir?
SAF: Yes, dance .... The Charleston.
*Phil Dowd dances the Charleston on the spot whilst constantly looking for Ferguson's approval, MON closes the door.*
Hello all, I usually don't put my own opinions on these things but I thought I'd just say I was proud of the lads on Sunday, we played some decent football and never looked in awe of what was a big game, on a big stage, against one of the biggest teams in the world. Of course for us Villa fans the match may have been a little tainted by some bad referreeing decisions but we're a relatively young team and a lesson to take out of the final was if life gives you lemons, use your pears. Anyway ...... We're getting there. U.T.V!