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Hercs In The Dressing Room Post Final Match

*We join the lads glum after their narrow defeat in the final*

MON: I want to see chins up lads, you're all champions to me and the fans out there!

Gabby: Does that mean we get the cup boss?

MON: No Gabriel.

*Gabby frowns then removes a large bag of pears from his shorts and sets them on a table, the lads look at each other confused*

Gabby: Well, that didn't work then.

MON: Gabriel, why did you bring a bag of pears on the pitch?

Gabby: I was watching Match of the Day before we went out and Alan Shearer said 'The real threat to Man United will be Agbonlahor's pears'

MON: Pace Gabriel, pace. It's just his regional accent.

*Gabby looks confused*

Gabby: Accent? I thought you had to be english to play for England?

MON: Gabriel he's .... Ah nevermind. Anyway lads I can only apologise, I had concentrated so much of our pre-match preperation on Wayne Rooney I hadn't even considered Manchester United's most potent threat. Phil Dowd.

Dunne: He was just everywhere on the pitch bass, unplayable.

MON: I know Richard, I know. He's a quite a talent.

*The door knocks, MON opens the door to Sir Alex Ferguson and Phil Dowd arm in arm Ferguson with the Carling Cup full of champagne, Dowd is holding the bottle.*

MON: Hi Sir Alex congrat....

SAF: That's Sir Alex!

MON: I said ...

SAF: Don't interrupt when I'm talkin' ta ye I'm a sir! Anyway ... What was I saying?

Dowd: Woooooooo! United! .... er .... I mean Wooooooo! Unbiased fairness!

SAF: Aye that was it, I thought you might want to congratulate me and Phil.

MON: I just tried to con ....

SAF: Will ya stop interruptin' me Martin'?

MON: You'd stopped talking Sir Alex. Besides why would I congratulate Phil Dowd?

Dowd: I got Man of the Match. Can I celebrate now Mr.Sir Alex sir?

SAF: Yes, dance .... The Charleston.

*Phil Dowd dances the Charleston on the spot whilst constantly looking for Ferguson's approval, MON closes the door.*

-----------

Hello all, I usually don't put my own opinions on these things but I thought I'd just say I was proud of the lads on Sunday, we played some decent football and never looked in awe of what was a big game, on a big stage, against one of the biggest teams in the world. Of course for us Villa fans the match may have been a little tainted by some bad referreeing decisions but we're a relatively young team and a lesson to take out of the final was if life gives you lemons, use your pears. Anyway ...... We're getting there. U.T.V!




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The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Monday March 1 2010

Time: 10:57AM

Your Comments

love ur summary. some ppl just cant see it...
Gruck
I didn't think you'd be able to make me laugh about the match. I'm really gutted today but I still laughed out loud at In The Dressing Room. Magic.
BodyButter
I didn't think you'd be able to make me laugh about the match. I'm really gutted today but I still laughed out loud at In The Dressing Room. Magic.
BodyButter
Really well put Hercs, I am also proud of the lads, thought they played really well and even after going 2-1 down had chances, Dunne had a great chance I felt at the death. Rooney is simply unstoppable.

Time to move on now though, all focus on next game and next trophy Sunday, UTV
davidsands1982
Really well put Hercs, I am also proud of the lads, thought they played really well and even after going 2-1 down had chances, Dunne had a great chance I felt at the death. Rooney is simply unstoppable.

Time to move on now though, all focus on next game and next trophy Sunday, UTV
davidsands1982
Thanks again Hercs, and well summarised. The lads did do us proud, and battled on to the end, when a few months ago you probably would have seen a rout by Manure with a 4 - 1 scoreline. UTV
Charizma
Thanks again Hercs, and well summarised. The lads did do us proud, and battled on to the end, when a few months ago you probably would have seen a rout by Manure with a 4 - 1 scoreline. UTV
Charizma
Hercs, nice one and agree with the message at the end dude. Feel free to publish other stuff if you so wish mate, you are a co-ed now!
The Fear
Brilliant. I wonder what Phil Dowd thinks when he watches match of the day? I can never understand why referees cant explain their decisions to the cameras after a game, cant we (all footy fans) start some sort of campaign to make them account? after all the FA cant fine us like they do with managers.
claretandbluearmy
 

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