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Hercs In The Dressing Room Pre Carling Cup Final

*We join MON and the lads preparing for a historic Carling Cup final at Wembley*

MON: Settle down lads settle down, now all week people have said 'Martin who's in the team?', 'Mr.O'Neil what's your pick for the final?' and I have kept it secret, it's just the way I operate.

*The lads all lean in with great interest.*

MON: And it will remain a secret! I'll take it to my grave! You'll have to pry the team sheet from my cold dead hands I tell you! Cold dead hands!

Dunne: Will ya not have to let us, tha team, know who's playing bass?

MON: Hmmm .... Fair point.

*Sidwell raises his hand excitedly*

Sidwell: Oooh, ooh boss am I playing!? Am I?

*The dressing room erupts with laughter*

Sidwell: What? I can play football!

*The dressing room erupts with laughter again, MON lifts his glasses dabbing the tears in his eyes with a handkerchief*

MON: Oh Steve, you're a gem. Now the goalkeeping dilemma has also been on the tips of everyone's tounges 'which Brad will he choose?' you cry. Well the 'keeper I've chosen has proven himself a protector beyond reproach and a man willing to throw his body wherever it takes. Brad, come on in!

*Friedel and Guzan look at each other puzzled, as the door opens and 'Brad' is forced through them followed by John Robertson.*

MON: Congratulate Bradley everyone!

*The lads stare, mostly in silence, Gabby is applauding, it's Bradley, from Eastenders*

MON: Brad everyone!

*Friedel has buried his face into his gloves, Guzan is scratching his head, Gabby is prodding Bradley's face with his finger*

Gabby: I thought you were dead?

MON: Now Brad would you care to put on your gloves.

Bradley: Thanks for the opportunity and all but I'm not a footballer.

MON: Nonsense, I know alot of 'keepers feel that way but you're every bit as an integral part of the team as a defender or striker Brad my boy.

Bradley: No .... I mean .... and my name's not actually Bradley it's .....

MON: Nevermind nicknames lad, just get your gloves on, we have our final match to play.

Gabby: Final match!? Are United going to .... Kill us?

MON: I'll kill you if we don't win!

*The lads all look at MON with unease, MON smiles*

MON: Only kidding lads.

*The lads look relieved, some of them chuckle*

MON: John will. Show 'em what you're working with Robbo.

*a sneering John Robertson unzips his large coat, opening it to reveal an array of deadly weapons.*

MON: Now get out there! It's death or glory! Play like your lives are on the line. Because they are!






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The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Friday February 26 2010

Time: 10:43AM

Your Comments

The best one yet herks! good one for the final
overlooked_villan
LOL, so true about Sidwell, can actually believe that happening to a degree :-) ~ thanks once again Hercs
davidsands1982
LOL, so true about Sidwell, can actually believe that happening to a degree :-) ~ thanks once again Hercs
davidsands1982
looking forward to the post match CELEBRATION one...!
The Fear
I've got a feeling that the post match 'Hercs' won't appear if we lose. Humour will be difficult to find in such circumstances. But that won't be an issue because we will win. Thanks again Hercs.
andy5759
I've got a feeling that the post match 'Hercs' won't appear if we lose. Humour will be difficult to find in such circumstances. But that won't be an issue because we will win. Thanks again Hercs.
andy5759
 

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