*We join the lads celebrating their 5-2 victory over Burnley, Heskey is doing his 'I got a goal' dance*
Heskey: Oh yeah! Scoring the winner at the death, that's what Emile William Ivanhoe Heskey is all about.
Milner: The winner? At the death? There were loads of goals and yours was somewhere in the middle man.
Heskey: I didn't see you scoring any winning goals James.
Milner: I was layin' on assists like.
Heskey: Assists? Pah! The people want goals young James, one day you'll learn that. I'll teach you to put a few away if you'd like?
*Milner raises his eyebrows in bemusement as MON enters, he is singing to himself as he strolls through the doors.*
MON: ...and we'll keep on fighting to the end, we are the...... What in the ....!? Gabriel unhand Stewart at once!
*Gabby stops throttling Downing*
Gabby: He stole my celebration boss!
MON: He what?
Gabby: The one where I look super happy and jump pointing to my name on my back with my thumbs.
*Downing climbs to his feet rubbing the back of his neck*
Downing: I cannae help it, I like goals like.
*Gabby lunges for Downing*
Gabby: I like goals!
*half of the team are restraining Gabby*
Downing: I just like 'em more than you pet, I mean I scored two, how many did you score?
*Gabby starts pointing to his fingers, counting the goals he scored.*
Downing: You scored one Gabriel, one.
MON: Enough of this bickering lads there were enough goals for everyone. Good battling and passion out there. James, you must've lost 12 pints of blood from your head.
*A weak, paler than usual Collins barely raises his hand and slowly extends a thumbs up*
MON: And Emile, I think we're all beginning to see your potential, why with the right coaching in a few years you'll be an excellent striker.
*The dressing room erupts with laughter, Delph approaches Ashley Young*
Delph: Mr.Young sir?
A.Young: Yes Fabian?
Delph: I was wondering if you could show me something.
A.Young: No problem Fabian, I love to help out the youngsters with their tricks and technique, what do you want to learn? How to beat your man or how to whip in a cross or...?
Delph: No that one tackle when you smashed Eagles and you were like 'Pow!' and Eagles was like 'Aaaaargh my leg, back and arms!' and the ref was like 'play on!'
*Delph looks attentively at A.Young, pulling out his notepad and pen.*
Manager Tim Sherwood has spoken of his disappointment - and shouldered the blame - for today's one nil loss to Stoke City.
All the stats from Aston Villa (0) vs (1) Stoke, Villa Park, 3/10/15 Att: 33,189
Statistics, damn lies and Aston Villa..
Bit of a mix and match today from manager Tim Sherwood's pre Stoke press conference.
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