Hercs In The Dressing Room Pre-Burnley Match

*We join the lads getting ready for their match against Burnley*

MON: OK lads we've been here before, Burnley are a.....

*A loud roar is heard outside the dressing room*

MON: What in the world?

*The door crashes open and Brian Jensen storms in, he is snarling, kicking chairs about and knocking over flipcharts, Sidwell is holding up a chair with the legs pointed at 'the beast'*

Sidwell: What the hell is that thing!?

Delph: I dunno, but if I can kick it, I can kill it.

*Delph lurches forward with a grin on his face*

MON: No Fabian! Get back here.

*Delph frowns, Brian Laws appears in the doorway*

Laws: Brian! Brian!

*Laws grabs the large chain around Jensen's neck and tugs him toward the door.*

Laws: Sorry fellas, he gets a bit 'flappy' when we're away from home.

MON: Get it out of my dressing room!

*Laws and Jensen leave*

MON: Right with the fixtures piling up I'm going to have to rotate the squad.

*MON points to his squad and formation on a whiteboard, Ashley Young raises his hand*

MON: Ashley?

A.Young: Boss that's the same squad we always play.

MON: Oh but is it Ashley? As you can see I have swapped James and Stilyan in the middle, James will play in the left central position, Stilyan in the right.

Milner: That's what we already pleey like.

MON: Oh.

*MON turns to the whiteboard rubbing out Milner and Petrov's names and swapping them around*

MON: There, and just to shake things up around the 70 or 80 minute mark I'll bring on Steve or Fabian, they'll never see it coming.

*Delph mutters aloud as he jots on a notepad.*

Delph: (70th minute ..... Kick Eagles) Gotcha boss.

MON: Hang on, no kicking.

Delph: (...and Elliot)

MON: Wait what are you writing there?

*Delph clutches his notepad to his chest*

Delph: Nowt boss.

*MON returns to his team talk*

Delph: (...Especially Eagles)

Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.