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'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Hercs In The Dressing Room Pre FA Cup

*The lads are gearing up for their F.A Cup clash against Crystal Palace*

MON: OK lads, we're going to Crystal Palace. It's going to be....

Gabby: A Crystal Palace? Does the queen live there?

MON: No Gabriel.

Gabby: What about the king?

MON: King? What king? There is no king. It's a football team, Anyway at Selhurst Park ....

Gabby: The park? I thought we were going to a palace?

MON: Hercules!

*The Hercules the lion Mascot enters the Dressing Room, he does a silent, little dance*

Gabby: Oooh a lion.

*Gabby leaves his chair and sits on the floor cross-legged facing the dancing lion mascot as MON continues*

MON: Anyway where was I? Ah yes, Crystal Palace are a...

Milner: Soor what like? We go in a room and solve a puzzle? If we make it we get a crystal if we fail we get locked in the room and...

MON: That's Crystal Maze!

*Ashley Young and Milner are now engaged in conversation*

A.Young: ..... and all the tickets are flying around in the massive dome....

*MON is jumping up and down*

MON: I said that's Crystal Maze! Look lads we have to be cautious of this team, they knocked out Wolves last round.

Carew: Wolves!?

MON: The football team.

Carew: Wolves that play football!?

MON: Well .... Not really.

Carew: So...

MON: Bella!

*Bella the lioness Mascot enters the Dressing Room, she does a silent, little dance. Carew scrambles for his wallet in his trousers whilst watching over his shoulder*

MON: Anyway enough of this nonsense. Stilyan are you fit enough to play?

*Petrov winces and shakes his head*

Petrov: No boss.

*MON tosses Petrov the captain's armband*

MON: Then lead the lads to victory!

*MON is making his way to the door*

Petrov: I said no boss.

MON: Victory!

*Petrov stares at the now vacant doorway.*

Carew: Woooooooooo!




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The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Friday February 12 2010

Time: 10:58AM

Your Comments (oldest first)

Change to most recent first
Brilliant mental image of the mascots dancing, and Gabby sitting on the floor laughing and clapping like a child, whilst Carew is waving a fistful of 50 notes in the air !!! LOL !
AV-Damo
Report Abuse
12/02/2010 12:16:00

Brilliant mental image of the mascots dancing, and Gabby sitting on the floor laughing and clapping like a child, whilst Carew is waving a fistful of 50 notes in the air !!! LOL !
AV-Damo
Report Abuse
12/02/2010 12:16:00

lol, 'does the Queen live there' !
The Fear
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12/02/2010 12:33:00

lol, 'does the Queen live there' !
The Fear
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12/02/2010 12:33:00

Crystal Maze was amazing, but only with Richard O'Brian, the other guy was poor!
davidsands1982
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12/02/2010 12:38:00

Crystal Maze was amazing, but only with Richard O'Brian, the other guy was poor!
davidsands1982
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12/02/2010 12:38:00

These are getting better and better.
YatesyVillain
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12/02/2010 14:40:00

These are getting better and better.
YatesyVillain
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12/02/2010 14:40:00

LMOA - 'Wolves play football?' Mon: 'Well not really'. CLASSIC. Awesome stuff!
Astriel
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12/02/2010 15:13:00

LMOA - 'Wolves play football?' Mon: 'Well not really'. CLASSIC. Awesome stuff!
Astriel
Report Abuse
12/02/2010 15:13:00

Hercs, can you get in touch with General Krulak please. He wants you to write the script for the end of season pantomime, starring all the first team squad.
andy5759
Report Abuse
12/02/2010 16:08:00

Hercs, can you get in touch with General Krulak please. He wants you to write the script for the end of season pantomime, starring all the first team squad.
andy5759
Report Abuse
12/02/2010 16:08:00

 

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