Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

Hercs 'In The Dressing Room' Post Spurs

Hercs 'In The Dressing Room' Post Spurs

*We join the lads reflecting on their 0-0 draw against Spurs, MON is nowhere to be seen*

A.Young: Has anyone seen the boss?

Milner: Last I saw, Harry was trying to sell him a truckload of video players like.

Delph: You mean DVD players.

Milner: Noor.

A.Young: Well, we better look for him.

*The players split up in search of MON at White Hart Lane, Eventually they happen on him, asleep in the dugout*

A.Young: Boss?

MON: ... And make sure he's british ......

A.Young: Boss!?

MON: .....With none of that 'fancy Dan' stuff ......

A.Young: BOSS!?!?

*MON Snores loudly then jumps with a start*

MON: GET AT THEM! PUSH UP! MAN ON!

A.Young: Boss .... The match is over.

*MON raises his glasses, rubs his eyes and removes his claret and blue striped sleeping cap*

MON: Oh right .... Nil nil was it?

A.Young: Yeah.

*Everyone returns to the Dressing Room*

MON (yawning and stretching): Well another outstanding show of defence, you should be proud of yourselves lads we defended the hell out of Spurs out there. Richard.

Dunne: Yes dere bass?

MON: Richard, Richard, Richard.

Dunne: Yes? .... Bass?

MON: When I put your name on the team sheet I know no goals will be scored..... Much like you Emile.

*The dressing room erupts with laughter*

Heskey: It's not my fault boss, I got injured, I planned to score at least three goals.

*The dressing room erupts with laughter again*

Heskey: What's funny? I can score goals!

*The dressing room erupts with laughter once more*

Heskey: Besides I help out at the back and like they say the best form of Offence is a good defence boss.

MON: Who? Who says that Emile? They're wrong! The best form of offence is offence that's why they called it 'offence'

*Sidwell and Delph are whispering at the back of the dressing room*

Delph: I'm so fed up, I didn't get to kick anyone ... Anyone! I mean I tried to kick John Robertson and he kept dodging me, he's like an old ninja.

Sidwell: I know, why'd he start with Stilyan? I mean I heard he was injured.

Delph: I heard he's dead .... and the boss still plays him.

*Sidwell and Delph look over at Petrov who is unblinking and rigidly in a standing position but leaned resting on a chair*

MON: What're you two talking about back there!?

Delph & Sidwell: Nothing boss.

MON: Stilyan, what were they talking about?

*Everyone turns to Petrov, he doesn't move and remains silent*

MON: Is that right Stilyan? OK then.

*The lads all look at each other, Petrov's hand falls off*

MON: Fabian, go and get the physio, tell him to bring the tape.

Win FREE pizza with Vital Football!
Select your team and get 50% off if they score twice.
www.papajohns.co.uk/football



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs
Date:Monday February 8 2010
Time: 8:18PM

Comments

0
MON: When I put your name on the team sheet I know no goals will be scored..... Much like you Emile. Brilliant.
claretandbluearmy
08/02/2010 22:30:00
0
MON: When I put your name on the team sheet I know no goals will be scored..... Much like you Emile. Brilliant.
claretandbluearmy
08/02/2010 22:30:00
0
absolutely brilliant....keep them coming
Bangkok Villan
09/02/2010 01:26:00
0
absolutely brilliant....keep them coming
Bangkok Villan
09/02/2010 01:26:00
0
left me laughing outloud at work again like a fool, so thanks for that Hercs!

Sometimes (only very briefly mind you) I do feel a little sorry for Emile.
davidsands1982
09/02/2010 10:59:00
0
left me laughing outloud at work again like a fool, so thanks for that Hercs!

Sometimes (only very briefly mind you) I do feel a little sorry for Emile.
davidsands1982
09/02/2010 10:59:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Laursen Reflects On His Time At Villa

Martin Laursen has reflected on the time he spent at Villa Park, and been speaking of his memories of late.

SO! What Does Aston Villa Need From The Takeover??

So... what does Aston Villa need with regards to the takeover?

Some Very Positive Talk From Tony Xia On Takeover

Some nice positive quotes and talk from Tony Xia on the takeover of Aston Villa...

HK - Abdo & McKirdy Talk Soccer 7's Trophy

Khalid Abdo and Harry McKirdy have both been giving their thoughts on Aston Villa's Hong Kong Soccer Sevens success last weekend.

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Roberto Di Matteo would be:
Suggested By: JP Fear
A great appointment26%
A good appointment but I'd prefer a.n.other58%
An average appointment6%
No thanks appointment!10%
ScoopDragon Premier League Network Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
C Leicester City 38 23 12 3 81 32
2 Arsenal 38 20 11 7 71 29
3 Spurs 38 19 13 6 70 34
4 Man City 38 19 9 10 66 30
5 Man Utd 38 19 9 10 66 14
6 Southampton 38 18 9 11 63 18
7 West Ham 38 16 14 8 62 14
8 Liverpool 38 16 12 10 60 13
9 Stoke 38 14 9 15 51 -14
10 Chelsea 38 12 14 12 50 6
11 Everton 38 11 14 13 47 4
12 Swansea 38 12 11 15 47 -10
13 Watford 38 12 9 17 45 -10
14 WBA 38 10 13 15 43 -14
15 Crystal Palace 38 11 9 18 42 -12
16 AFC Bournemouth 38 11 9 18 42 -22
17 Sunderland 38 9 12 17 39 -14
R Newcastle 38 9 10 19 37 -21
R Norwich 38 9 7 22 34 -28
R Aston Villa 38 3 8 27 17 -49
Vital Football Comment
Latest F1 News
Pirelli announce tyre selections for Monaco
Latest Vital Boxing News
Makabu Threatens to Knock Bellew Out
Write for Vital Football

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.Pride of Lions790
2.The Fear455
3.kefkat321
4.sirdennis284
5.Lerner Out!247
6.Fulford226
7.glensider205
8.JuanPabloAngel190
9.DeanoVilla169
10.Silhillvilla145
The Vital Football Members League