Aston Villa - Hercs 'In The Dressing Room' Pre-Spurs
UK time is: 06:51:13
Vital Login
Social Login

Choose your club

Other Sites

Network Navigation

Vital Partners

'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Hercs 'In The Dressing Room' Pre-Spurs

*We join the lads preparing for their clash against Spurs*

MON: Right, settle down lads, now for this match I ....

*There is a knock at the door, MON (quite annoyed at being interrupted) answers it. It's Harry Redknapp and Peter Crouch*

Redknapp: Marty! 'Ow are you me auld china!?

MON: I'm fine thanks Harry.

Redknapp: Sir 'Arry, please.

MON: You're not a knight of the realm Harry and I have no issue beginning a word without a vowel.... Anyway as you can see I'm quite busy, how can I help you?

Redknapp: I was wonderin' if you'd like to buy this job lot of captain's armbands ..... Crouchie!

*Crouch lugs a massive cardboard box dropping it at MON's feet, MON opens the box*

MON: What am I going to do with a box of hundreds of armbands Harry? And why do they all have a large capital 'E' on?

Crouch (whispering): I told you he'd notice boss!

Redknapp: Shut it Crouchie you plonker! Marty, obviously it stands for ''E's the captain'

MON: No thanks Harry .... and why are you pair dressed as Batman and Robin?

Redknapp: Long story ..... Wembley Tickets?

*Redknapp thrusts a fistful of Wembley tickets toward MON.*

MON: Hang on ... Where did you get those? ..... NATHAN!?

*MON turns to see Nathan Baker has disappeared*

A.Young: He said something about the Costa Del Sol boss.

*MON sighs and slams the door in Redknapp and Crouch's faces*

Crouch: Well that went better than I thought it would.

Redknapp: Don't worry Crouchie my son, my next scheme's going to make us millions, first we buy Pompey, then ....

Crouch: Can we not just play football boss?

*Back in the dressing room*

MON: I only have one tactic for this match lads.

*MON pulls down a rolled up poster, unveiling a large picture of Jermaine Defoe's face, he's smiling widely and is surrounded by a bold red circle with a line through it*

MON: Stop. Jermaine. Defoe

*Delph and Sidwell's eyes widen and gleam*

Sidwell: You mean 'Stop him', 'stop him' boss?

MON: Well I ....

*MON turns, Delph is repeatedly kicking holes in the face poster*

MON: Fabian!?

Delph: What?...... I like kicking people.

MON: Steven!?

*Sidwell stops growling and raises his eyebrows, a piece of poster his hanging from between his teeth like an oversized tongue*




Use your social login to comment on front page articles. Login using you Facebook, Twitter, Google or LinkedIn accounts and have your say!



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Friday February 5 2010

Time: 11:09AM

Your Comments (oldest first)

Change to most recent first
Nice mental images produced from that, made me s******* at my desk!
davidsands1982
Report Abuse
05/02/2010 12:51:00

Nice mental images produced from that, made me s******* at my desk!
davidsands1982
Report Abuse
05/02/2010 12:51:00

Redknapp and Crouch - Del and Rodney! I love the images you paint in my mind, hercs!
benji_starsky_avfc
Report Abuse
05/02/2010 14:09:00

Redknapp and Crouch - Del and Rodney! I love the images you paint in my mind, hercs!
benji_starsky_avfc
Report Abuse
05/02/2010 14:09:00

on a side note, would love to see Delph feature tomorrow evening.
benji_starsky_avfc
Report Abuse
05/02/2010 14:10:00

on a side note, would love to see Delph feature tomorrow evening.
benji_starsky_avfc
Report Abuse
05/02/2010 14:10:00

if you lot kick Defoe tomorrow we will have proof that it was a conspiracy. by the way great one again.
vangogo
Report Abuse
05/02/2010 14:21:00

if you lot kick Defoe tomorrow we will have proof that it was a conspiracy. by the way great one again.
vangogo
Report Abuse
05/02/2010 14:21:00

what a great reference to Only Fools and Horses! It's so true as well. ...
FootyFans
Report Abuse
05/02/2010 15:57:00

what a great reference to Only Fools and Horses! It's so true as well. ...
FootyFans
Report Abuse
05/02/2010 15:57:00

Fast forward an hour. There's a knock at the Spurs dressing room door. Redknapp answers it. Standing there is an overweight oafish looking chap donning a woolly hat. Redknapp:Who are you? "Benny Hawkins" replies the chap." Mr Martin next door is complaining about 3 lost points and I came to see if they were in here."
hodfoundgodwithapass
Report Abuse
05/02/2010 16:16:00

Fast forward an hour. There's a knock at the Spurs dressing room door. Redknapp answers it. Standing there is an overweight oafish looking chap donning a woolly hat. Redknapp:Who are you? "Benny Hawkins" replies the chap." Mr Martin next door is complaining about 3 lost points and I came to see if they were in here."
hodfoundgodwithapass
Report Abuse
05/02/2010 16:16:00

i found that unbelievably realistic, especially dirty arry buying Pompey. Storrie wud give it to him tax free
av-jc-86
Report Abuse
05/02/2010 17:37:00

i found that unbelievably realistic, especially dirty arry buying Pompey. Storrie wud give it to him tax free
av-jc-86
Report Abuse
05/02/2010 17:37:00

Thank you Hercs.
andy5759
Report Abuse
05/02/2010 20:23:00

Thank you Hercs.
andy5759
Report Abuse
05/02/2010 20:23:00

by the way hodgod since when has a match only been an hour long
av-jc-86
Report Abuse
06/02/2010 03:35:00

by the way hodgod since when has a match only been an hour long
av-jc-86
Report Abuse
06/02/2010 03:35:00

 

Have Your Say

Log in...
with your social network     OR     with your Vital account

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Archived Aston Villa Articles

List All Vital Villa Articles
Have your say
Click here to suggest an article
Click here to suggest a poll
ScoopDragon Premier League Network Sites

Vital Members League (view all)

1. ClivetheVillan 1468
2. Pride of Lions 1371
3. The Fear 531
4. DeanoVilla 296
5. kefkat 282
6. sirdennis 257
7. Fulford 255
8. Bonker 205
9. Thomas Holte 197
10. villawill 191

League Results (view all)

Latest Results

League Table (view table)

Team P W D L GD Pts
1. AFC Bournemouth 0 0 0 0 +0 0
2. Arsenal 0 0 0 0 +0 0
3. Aston Villa 0 0 0 0 +0 0
4. Chelsea 0 0 0 0 +0 0
5. Crystal Palace 0 0 0 0 +0 0
6. Everton 0 0 0 0 +0 0
7. Leicester City 0 0 0 0 +0 0

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Breaking League News

On Buying Titles and Trophys;
Chelsea : 28/07/2015 03:34:01
Pivotal Change In Ashley Tenureship?
Newcastle : 28/07/2015 00:34:00
Diaby & Sako Deals Close?
WBA : 27/07/2015 20:32:00
Hart Up For UEFA Award
Man City : 27/07/2015 20:19:00
Pellegrini Confirms Jovetic Exit
Man City : 27/07/2015 20:08:01

Current Site Poll (view all polls)

Would you like Ashley Young back at Villa?
Suggested By:  JP Fear
Yes 71%
No 29%