Hercs 'In The Dressing Room' Pre-Spurs
*We join the lads preparing for their clash against Spurs*
MON: Right, settle down lads, now for this match I ....
*There is a knock at the door, MON (quite annoyed at being interrupted) answers it. It's Harry Redknapp and Peter Crouch*
Redknapp: Marty! 'Ow are you me auld china!?
MON: I'm fine thanks Harry.
Redknapp: Sir 'Arry, please.
MON: You're not a knight of the realm Harry and I have no issue beginning a word without a vowel.... Anyway as you can see I'm quite busy, how can I help you?
Redknapp: I was wonderin' if you'd like to buy this job lot of captain's armbands ..... Crouchie!
*Crouch lugs a massive cardboard box dropping it at MON's feet, MON opens the box*
MON: What am I going to do with a box of hundreds of armbands Harry? And why do they all have a large capital 'E' on?
Crouch (whispering): I told you he'd notice boss!
Redknapp: Shut it Crouchie you plonker! Marty, obviously it stands for ''E's the captain'
MON: No thanks Harry .... and why are you pair dressed as Batman and Robin?
Redknapp: Long story ..... Wembley Tickets?
*Redknapp thrusts a fistful of Wembley tickets toward MON.*
MON: Hang on ... Where did you get those? ..... NATHAN!?
*MON turns to see Nathan Baker has disappeared*
A.Young: He said something about the Costa Del Sol boss.
*MON sighs and slams the door in Redknapp and Crouch's faces*
Crouch: Well that went better than I thought it would.
Redknapp: Don't worry Crouchie my son, my next scheme's going to make us millions, first we buy Pompey, then ....
Crouch: Can we not just play football boss?
*Back in the dressing room*
MON: I only have one tactic for this match lads.
*MON pulls down a rolled up poster, unveiling a large picture of Jermaine Defoe's face, he's smiling widely and is surrounded by a bold red circle with a line through it*
MON: Stop. Jermaine. Defoe
*Delph and Sidwell's eyes widen and gleam*
Sidwell: You mean 'Stop him', 'stop him' boss?
MON: Well I ....
*MON turns, Delph is repeatedly kicking holes in the face poster*
Delph: What?...... I like kicking people.
*Sidwell stops growling and raises his eyebrows, a piece of poster his hanging from between his teeth like an oversized tongue*