Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

Hercs 'In The Dressing Room ' Pre Fulham

Hercs 'In The Dressing Room ' Pre Fulham

*We join the lads in preperation for their match against Fulham*

MON: OK lads due to the recent league goal drought I've bought in a man who knows where the back of the net is, lads please welcome Dwight Yorke!

*Dwight Yorke strolls casually into the dressing room to generous applause*

Yorke: Thankyou, thankyou.

*Gabby raises his hand*

Yorke: Gabriel?

Gabby: Give us back our net!

Yorke: What?

Gabby: Our net! You know where it is!

*The lads are holding Gabby back*

MON: Gabriel, Gabriel it's just an expression meaning he's a prolific striker.

*Gabby sits down still staring accusingly at Yorke*

Yorke: O.....K, anyway Emile, I'll start with you.

*Heskey smiles a proud grin*

Yorke: Back in Trinidad and Tobago we have a word for the type of striker you are .... rubbish.

MON: So Dwight, any advice?

Yorke: Certainly, I would suggest that perhaps when you get a chance, you shoot .... You might score.

*Heskey scribbles attentively on his notepad*

Heskey: Shoot..... Might ...... Score.

Yorke: And you Gabriel, you have it all, pace, power you just need to work on your decision making.

*Gabby leans in with interest*

Yorke: I mean what're you doing getting these munters pregnant? Look at me, I bagged Jordan, raise the bar man!

*Gabby nods*

Yorke: You Big John, you're spending too long out there trying to look good.

*Yorke pulls a folded photo out of his pocket*

Yorke: Look at this, do I look like I'm concerned with looking good?

*It's a picture of Yorke smiling at the camera, he's wearing the hideous '94 green, red and black Muller away shirt*

Carew: No.

Yorke: No I don't, because I'm more concerned with beating the man and scoring goals.

Harewood: What about me Dwight!? How can I improve?

Yorke: You? You should not play football.

Harewood: Why because of my broken foot?

Yorke: No.

MON: Right thanks for that Dwight, lads go out out there and for the love of God one of you score!



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs
Date:Friday January 29 2010
Time: 2:58PM

Comments

0
i only just discouvered these today and read them all.... very funny!
avmalada
29/01/2010 16:02:00
0
i only just discouvered these today and read them all.... very funny!
avmalada
29/01/2010 16:02:00
0
oi - i still wear my "*hideous '94 green, red and black Muller away shirt*" wore it Milan in fact .... http://s285.photobucket.com/albums/ll75/lostinca/?action=view&current=Milan.jpg
lost_in_ca
29/01/2010 17:46:00
0
oi - i still wear my "*hideous '94 green, red and black Muller away shirt*" wore it Milan in fact .... http://s285.photobucket.com/albums/ll75/lostinca/?action=view&current=Milan.jpg
lost_in_ca
29/01/2010 17:46:00
0
And you look very nice in it as well
Doug4ever
29/01/2010 23:42:00
0
And you look very nice in it as well
Doug4ever
29/01/2010 23:42:00
0
I'm not a villa fan, but I'm loving these! Sooo funny!
tuscan3000
30/01/2010 04:20:00
0
I'm not a villa fan, but I'm loving these! Sooo funny!
tuscan3000
30/01/2010 04:20:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Garde - A Long Road Ahead Of Us

Manager Remi Garde has admitted we still need to focus on 40 points to avoid the drop this year, and Gabby Agbonlahor and Joleon Lescott have talked fight.

January Loan Update

Aston Villa have a few players out on loan this season, so here's an update following on from the last month.

Garde On Much Needed Norwich Victory

Manager Remi Garde actually had something to smile about at the weekend as Villa took the 'no choice' victory over Norwich City.

Kozak Out For A Month

Didn't quite get to the pre Norwich injury news, so another setback for Libor Kozak slipped through.

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Profile
Mike Field
Profile
Steve Wade
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
Profile
Turkish Penguin
Profile
Glensider
Profile
Chris Heath
Profile
M Calucar
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Norwich MotM
Suggested By: Site Staff
Bunn4%
Richards1%
Okore10%
Lescott10%
Cissokho1%
Bacuna0%
Gana29%
Westwood1%
Gil11%
Agbonlahor29%
Veretout4%
Sub - Clark0%
ScoopDragon Premier League Network Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Leicester City 25 15 8 2 53 20
2 Spurs 25 13 9 3 48 26
3 Arsenal 25 14 6 5 48 17
4 Man City 25 14 5 6 47 21
5 Man Utd 25 11 8 6 41 10
6 West Ham 25 10 9 6 39 9
7 Southampton 25 10 7 8 37 9
8 Everton 25 8 11 6 35 12
9 Liverpool 25 9 8 8 35 -4
10 Watford 25 9 6 10 33 0
11 Stoke 25 9 6 10 33 -7
12 Crystal Palace 25 9 5 11 32 -4
13 Chelsea 25 7 9 9 30 -2
14 WBA 25 7 8 10 29 -9
15 AFC Bournemouth 25 7 7 11 28 -12
16 Swansea 25 6 9 10 27 -9
17 Newcastle 25 6 6 13 24 -18
18 Norwich 25 6 5 14 23 -20
19 Sunderland 25 5 5 15 20 -19
20 Aston Villa 25 3 7 15 16 -20
The Vital Football Members League
Latest F1 News
Schumacher outlook 'not good' says Di Montezemolo
Latest Vital Boxing News
Whyte Would Take Haye Fight
Vital Football Comment

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Feb 14 2016 2:05PM : Liverpool (H)
Barclays Premier League
Feb 27 2016 3:00PM : Stoke City (a)
Barclays Premier League
Mar 1 2016 7:45PM : Everton (H)
Barclays Premier League
Mar 5 2016 3:00PM : Manchester City (a)
Barclays Premier League
Mar 12 2016 3:00PM : Tottenham Hotspur (H)
Barclays Premier League
Mar 19 2016 5:30PM : Swansea City (a)
Barclays Premier League

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.Pride of Lions414
2.The Fear231
3.ClivetheVillan230
4.Fulford230
5.JuanPabloAngel155
6.sirdennis146
7.revdpete143
8.Wurzel113
9.DeanoVilla109
10.He'sBiggerThanMe&You88
Write for Vital Football