Date:Friday January 29 2010
*We join the lads in preperation for their match against Fulham*
MON: OK lads due to the recent league goal drought I've bought in a man who knows where the back of the net is, lads please welcome Dwight Yorke!
*Dwight Yorke strolls casually into the dressing room to generous applause*
Yorke: Thankyou, thankyou.
*Gabby raises his hand*
Gabby: Give us back our net!
Gabby: Our net! You know where it is!
*The lads are holding Gabby back*
MON: Gabriel, Gabriel it's just an expression meaning he's a prolific striker.
*Gabby sits down still staring accusingly at Yorke*
Yorke: O.....K, anyway Emile, I'll start with you.
*Heskey smiles a proud grin*
Yorke: Back in Trinidad and Tobago we have a word for the type of striker you are .... rubbish.
MON: So Dwight, any advice?
Yorke: Certainly, I would suggest that perhaps when you get a chance, you shoot .... You might score.
*Heskey scribbles attentively on his notepad*
Heskey: Shoot..... Might ...... Score.
Yorke: And you Gabriel, you have it all, pace, power you just need to work on your decision making.
*Gabby leans in with interest*
Yorke: I mean what're you doing getting these munters pregnant? Look at me, I bagged Jordan, raise the bar man!
Yorke: You Big John, you're spending too long out there trying to look good.
*Yorke pulls a folded photo out of his pocket*
Yorke: Look at this, do I look like I'm concerned with looking good?
*It's a picture of Yorke smiling at the camera, he's wearing the hideous '94 green, red and black Muller away shirt*
Yorke: No I don't, because I'm more concerned with beating the man and scoring goals.
Harewood: What about me Dwight!? How can I improve?
Yorke: You? You should not play football.
Harewood: Why because of my broken foot?
MON: Right thanks for that Dwight, lads go out out there and for the love of God one of you score!
Date:Friday January 29 2010
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