UK time is: 00:08:21
Vital Login
Social Login

Choose your club

Other Sites

Network Navigation

Vital Partners

'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Hercs 'In The Dressing Room ' Pre Fulham

*We join the lads in preperation for their match against Fulham*

MON: OK lads due to the recent league goal drought I've bought in a man who knows where the back of the net is, lads please welcome Dwight Yorke!

*Dwight Yorke strolls casually into the dressing room to generous applause*

Yorke: Thankyou, thankyou.

*Gabby raises his hand*

Yorke: Gabriel?

Gabby: Give us back our net!

Yorke: What?

Gabby: Our net! You know where it is!

*The lads are holding Gabby back*

MON: Gabriel, Gabriel it's just an expression meaning he's a prolific striker.

*Gabby sits down still staring accusingly at Yorke*

Yorke: O.....K, anyway Emile, I'll start with you.

*Heskey smiles a proud grin*

Yorke: Back in Trinidad and Tobago we have a word for the type of striker you are .... rubbish.

MON: So Dwight, any advice?

Yorke: Certainly, I would suggest that perhaps when you get a chance, you shoot .... You might score.

*Heskey scribbles attentively on his notepad*

Heskey: Shoot..... Might ...... Score.

Yorke: And you Gabriel, you have it all, pace, power you just need to work on your decision making.

*Gabby leans in with interest*

Yorke: I mean what're you doing getting these munters pregnant? Look at me, I bagged Jordan, raise the bar man!

*Gabby nods*

Yorke: You Big John, you're spending too long out there trying to look good.

*Yorke pulls a folded photo out of his pocket*

Yorke: Look at this, do I look like I'm concerned with looking good?

*It's a picture of Yorke smiling at the camera, he's wearing the hideous '94 green, red and black Muller away shirt*

Carew: No.

Yorke: No I don't, because I'm more concerned with beating the man and scoring goals.

Harewood: What about me Dwight!? How can I improve?

Yorke: You? You should not play football.

Harewood: Why because of my broken foot?

Yorke: No.

MON: Right thanks for that Dwight, lads go out out there and for the love of God one of you score!




Use your social login to comment on front page articles. Login using you Facebook, Twitter, Google or LinkedIn accounts and have your say!



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Friday January 29 2010

Time: 2:58PM

Your Comments

i only just discouvered these today and read them all.... very funny!
avmalada
i only just discouvered these today and read them all.... very funny!
avmalada
oi - i still wear my "*hideous '94 green, red and black Muller away shirt*" wore it Milan in fact .... http://s285.photobucket.com/albums/ll75/lostinca/?action=view&current=Milan.jpg
lost_in_ca
oi - i still wear my "*hideous '94 green, red and black Muller away shirt*" wore it Milan in fact .... http://s285.photobucket.com/albums/ll75/lostinca/?action=view&current=Milan.jpg
lost_in_ca
And you look very nice in it as well
Doug4ever
And you look very nice in it as well
Doug4ever
I'm not a villa fan, but I'm loving these! Sooo funny!
tuscan3000
I'm not a villa fan, but I'm loving these! Sooo funny!
tuscan3000
 

Have Your Say

Log in...
with your social network     OR     with your Vital account

Recent Articles

Pre Swansea Injury News + U21 Update (Thursday April 24 2014)

Vital Villa Man Of Match v Southampton (Wednesday April 23 2014)

Sylla - Not As Dramatic As He Sounds (Wednesday April 23 2014)

Robinson Looking For More (Monday April 21 2014)

Dear Randy...A Fans Retort (Sunday April 20 2014)

Club Statement From Randy Lerner (Sunday April 20 2014)

Archived Articles

List All Vital Villa Articles
Have your say
Click here to suggest an article
Click here to suggest a poll

Vital Members League (view all)

1. Pride of Lions 1126
2. The Fear 1047
3. ClivetheVillan 625
4. Villan57 304
5. Villan Of The North 286
6. Barney2004 277
7. sirdennis 237
8. kefkat 231
9. BlackCountry Villa 227
10. tarzan 208

League Results (view all)

League Table (view table)

Team P W D L GD Pts
12. West Ham 35 10 7 18 -10 37
13. Swansea 35 9 9 17 -4 36
14. Hull City 34 10 6 18 -9 36
15. Aston Villa 34 9 8 17 -14 35
16. WBA 34 6 15 13 -13 33
17. Norwich 35 8 8 19 -28 32
18. Cardiff 35 7 9 19 -34 30

Breaking League News

Michu Set To Miss Aston Villa Game
Swansea : 24/04/2014 22:58:00
Mel Not Phased By The Pressure
WBA : 24/04/2014 21:16:00
West Ham Injury News For Albion
WBA : 24/04/2014 21:10:00
Jedinak - We Won't Relax Off
Crystal Palace : 24/04/2014 20:56:00
Pulis Now Looking To The Future
Crystal Palace : 24/04/2014 20:51:00
We Need Mutch Belief, Not Fear
Cardiff : 24/04/2014 20:26:00
Lambert Confirms What You All Thought About Me
Aston Villa : 24/04/2014 20:00:00

Current Site Poll (view all polls)

Villa v Swansea (away) will:
Suggested By:  Mystic Mug
Win - safety at last 22%
Lose - we go again 53%
Draw 25%