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Decent Aston Villa Joke!

Martin O’Neill has signed a new foreign super-kid.

On the new boy’s first day of training, O’Neill picks up a ball and shouts very slowly:

'You get this and kick it at the goal.'

The new super-kid looks a bit bewildered but carries on nonetheless.

The next day at training, exactly the same thing happens.

O’Neill stops play, scoops the ball up and shouts - even slower than last time:

'You get this and score a goal.'

Again the young foreign kid looks discombobulated, but carries on.

On the third day, it happens again:

'You get this and score a goal.'

This time, the foreign super-kid finally cracks, so shouts to his new manager:

'Boss, I speak very good English and know what to do!'

O’Neill says:

'Not you son, I’m talking to Heskey!'




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The Journalist

Writer: Lee Lindsay Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Thursday January 28 2010

Time: 4:40PM

Your Comments

Awesome!
leelindsay
Awesome!
leelindsay
am sick and tired of this site. I always loved Vital Villa but flick me if the only stuff published on the front page these days is this sort of negative rubbish. Its not even funny; Heskey scored in the game before last when we BEAT blackburn 6-4!!!
simonbigron
am sick and tired of this site. I always loved Vital Villa but flick me if the only stuff published on the front page these days is this sort of negative rubbish. Its not even funny; Heskey scored in the game before last when we BEAT blackburn 6-4!!!
simonbigron
for goodness sake Simon, get a sense of humour about things mate, this is just a joke, we can laugh at ourselves as well as others, it is just a joke, bit of fun. Look at all the positive stuff on here in the last week before jumping down our necks. Just a laugh. I knew someone would come on and moan. Blimey oh reilly when did everyone get so serious and forget to have a bit of banter and a bit of humour along the way?! Read article after article here and there is loads of positive stuff, the Liverpool fan one for a start, Vital Acorns stuff, the match report, Hercs in the dressing room (for a laugh) some great fan interviews through this quiet period, great coverage pre and post matches, ticket info, banter, etc. Chill out mate, there is nothing offensive about this joke.
The Fear
for goodness sake Simon, get a sense of humour about things mate, this is just a joke, we can laugh at ourselves as well as others, it is just a joke, bit of fun. Look at all the positive stuff on here in the last week before jumping down our necks. Just a laugh. I knew someone would come on and moan. Blimey oh reilly when did everyone get so serious and forget to have a bit of banter and a bit of humour along the way?! Read article after article here and there is loads of positive stuff, the Liverpool fan one for a start, Vital Acorns stuff, the match report, Hercs in the dressing room (for a laugh) some great fan interviews through this quiet period, great coverage pre and post matches, ticket info, banter, etc. Chill out mate, there is nothing offensive about this joke.
The Fear
oh and the person who sent the joke in was at the Villa last night with me, both of us cheering, happy, enjoying the game, clapping the lads, clapping MON.
The Fear
oh and the person who sent the joke in was at the Villa last night with me, both of us cheering, happy, enjoying the game, clapping the lads, clapping MON.
The Fear
for gods sake get a sence of humour thanks lee. Let's have more. We are a big club and can afford to laugh at ourselves occasionally. Whatever your name is stop looking if you don't like it.
villaninlemerde
for gods sake get a sence of humour thanks lee. Let's have more. We are a big club and can afford to laugh at ourselves occasionally. Whatever your name is stop looking if you don't like it.
villaninlemerde
fair play .. good to see a sense of humour. Not often seen these days .
IrishGoon
fair play .. good to see a sense of humour. Not often seen these days .
IrishGoon
Excellent. Love it. Simon, seriously, I'm praying for your sense of humour to return! Sorry mate, but yes there are some negative posts (which I loathe from time to time), but this board has been VERY upbeat since November with a lot of sensible debate. And debate is what makes football fun! Keep 'em coming Mr Fear!
revdpete
Excellent. Love it. Simon, seriously, I'm praying for your sense of humour to return! Sorry mate, but yes there are some negative posts (which I loathe from time to time), but this board has been VERY upbeat since November with a lot of sensible debate. And debate is what makes football fun! Keep 'em coming Mr Fear!
revdpete
It's only a joke simonbigron!! We all want Heskey to do well.
leerj0
It's only a joke simonbigron!! We all want Heskey to do well.
leerj0
Quality, pure quality. Love it !! LOL !
AV-Damo
Quality, pure quality. Love it !! LOL !
AV-Damo
That made me lol. You always seem to find the original footy jokes JF!
JayVFC
That made me lol. You always seem to find the original footy jokes JF!
JayVFC
this site is going down hill fast, i agree with you Simon.. leave humour at the door Mr Fear.. supposed to be a professional website... taking the p**S this site
krisvilla
this site is going down hill fast, i agree with you Simon.. leave humour at the door Mr Fear.. supposed to be a professional website... taking the p**S this site
krisvilla
Will never leave humour at the door, life is far too tough not to have a laugh, I learn that many years ago and feel sorry for those that can't have a joke and choose to take things so seriously. Feel free to close the door on the way out if you don't like the style or the fact it/we won't take itself too seriously.
The Fear
Will never leave humour at the door, life is far too tough not to have a laugh, I learn that many years ago and feel sorry for those that can't have a joke and choose to take things so seriously. Feel free to close the door on the way out if you don't like the style or the fact it/we won't take itself too seriously.
The Fear
cant wait to tell this to the lads over a few tipples at the gentlemens club (boozer)
intox
cant wait to tell this to the lads over a few tipples at the gentlemens club (boozer)
intox
Love it!! I want Heskey to score as much as the next man - loved the 'Heskey scored My Lord' chant as soon as he scored against Blackburn. Got my Wembley ticket today - can't wait.
BLWOW
Love it!! I want Heskey to score as much as the next man - loved the 'Heskey scored My Lord' chant as soon as he scored against Blackburn. Got my Wembley ticket today - can't wait.
BLWOW
Tut tut Fear fancy making jokes about a man that scored against Blackburn.... Of course when he played for Blues the joke was funny, now it's 'unfair'!!
witton_lane
Tut tut Fear fancy making jokes about a man that scored against Blackburn.... Of course when he played for Blues the joke was funny, now it's 'unfair'!!
witton_lane
@ Simon, WOW Dude you have to be the most miserable person I have ever come across on here and believe me that is saying something
TuBBz
@ Simon, WOW Dude you have to be the most miserable person I have ever come across on here and believe me that is saying something
TuBBz
Should never take life too seriously, you'll never get out alive...
TheYank
Should never take life too seriously, you'll never get out alive...
TheYank
http://www.thespoiler.co.uk/index.php/2010/01/28/joke-of-the-day-new-striker-arrives-at-villa ^^^ The origin, spotted this one on newsnow yesterday x
niblot1
http://www.thespoiler.co.uk/index.php/2010/01/28/joke-of-the-day-new-striker-arrives-at-villa ^^^ The origin, spotted this one on newsnow yesterday x
niblot1
Must admit I had a long think (not something I do often) last night and still don't see why the fuss. Maybe some don't quite understand the ribbing and banter that goes on in dressing rooms up and down the country. I know from talking to a few that the humour is great and this would be taken as it was meant as a joke. It isn't a new joke, it has been going around for years as Witton says as it used to be a blues joke !

As said, in my match report (my opinion only) I said he put in good effort etc, I SO WANT him to do well, I'm told he is a top chap, really nice fella. That doesn't mean you can't have the odd joke though!

However, if it annoyed or offended anyone, I apologise, not the intention, never the intention and I've booked a session of spanking later to make reporation. Then again, I'd have done that anyway... :o)

Not quite the origin niblot, it is an old joke, but yes, must admit I hadn't noticed it on newsnow until I went on later and it was no1 in the newslist, I had this one emailed to me. It also did the rounds via text in the summer!
The Fear
Must admit I had a long think (not something I do often) last night and still don't see why the fuss. Maybe some don't quite understand the ribbing and banter that goes on in dressing rooms up and down the country. I know from talking to a few that the humour is great and this would be taken as it was meant as a joke. It isn't a new joke, it has been going around for years as Witton says as it used to be a blues joke !

As said, in my match report (my opinion only) I said he put in good effort etc, I SO WANT him to do well, I'm told he is a top chap, really nice fella. That doesn't mean you can't have the odd joke though!

However, if it annoyed or offended anyone, I apologise, not the intention, never the intention and I've booked a session of spanking later to make reporation. Then again, I'd have done that anyway... :o)

Not quite the origin niblot, it is an old joke, but yes, must admit I hadn't noticed it on newsnow until I went on later and it was no1 in the newslist, I had this one emailed to me. It also did the rounds via text in the summer!
The Fear
FEAR, you don't need to, and shouldn't have to, apologise to anyone for this. If some folk are so anally retarded they can't see this for what it is .... A JOKE ! then that's their problem. Keep up the good work and keep the humour flowing. Well Done, Mr Fear !!
AV-Damo
FEAR, you don't need to, and shouldn't have to, apologise to anyone for this. If some folk are so anally retarded they can't see this for what it is .... A JOKE ! then that's their problem. Keep up the good work and keep the humour flowing. Well Done, Mr Fear !!
AV-Damo
sorry fear if i added to it, perhaps i was a bit too dry in my response.. nowt wrong with putting a joke up mate.. bit of fun, it was only one person who is a grumpy git that said owt, and my perhaps, silly reply .. just trying to ridicule the ridiculous! i.e. @simon
krisvilla
sorry fear if i added to it, perhaps i was a bit too dry in my response.. nowt wrong with putting a joke up mate.. bit of fun, it was only one person who is a grumpy git that said owt, and my perhaps, silly reply .. just trying to ridicule the ridiculous! i.e. @simon
krisvilla
Christ we all played sport at sum point (or still do) and everyone in the dressing room takes the ***** outa eachother all the time bout performances n stuff like that. If u dont want the entertainment of the articles on this website go read the daily mail u boring so n so
overlooked_villan
Christ we all played sport at sum point (or still do) and everyone in the dressing room takes the ***** outa eachother all the time bout performances n stuff like that. If u dont want the entertainment of the articles on this website go read the daily mail u boring so n so
overlooked_villan
If you don't appreciate jokes, then how can you appreciate Heskey
ant1ant1
If you don't appreciate jokes, then how can you appreciate Heskey
ant1ant1
Me and my mate gonzo started shouting SCORED when they were singing SHlT and eventually it caught on.. You're welcome!
benji_starsky_avfc
Me and my mate gonzo started shouting SCORED when they were singing SHlT and eventually it caught on.. You're welcome!
benji_starsky_avfc
Even Heskey would have laughed at that .
Doug4ever
Even Heskey would have laughed at that .
Doug4ever
krisvilla, that is the most pathetic attempt at trying to bactrack, I have come across since Neil Cox.
mackaavfc
krisvilla, that is the most pathetic attempt at trying to bactrack, I have come across since Neil Cox.
mackaavfc
He did say ". leave humour at the door Mr Fear. " I thought he was joking as soon as i read it .
Doug4ever
He did say ". leave humour at the door Mr Fear. " I thought he was joking as soon as i read it .
Doug4ever
 

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