Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

Hercs 'In The Dressing Room' Post Arsenal

Hercs 'In The Dressing Room' Post Arsenal

*We join the lads chatting about their 0-0 draw, MON enters*

MON: Another great defensive performance lads, great clean sheet. You pair, Gabriel, Emile another outstanding clean sheet upfront.

Gabby: Thanks boss.

MON: I was being ironic.

Gabby: What, like a robot boss?

MON: Like a ro...? No that's bionic. Ah nevermind. Look I didn't want to do this but you're not cutting it as forwards so I'm having to explore the only other option.

Heskey: But boss I'm not about goals, I offer a different ....

MON: Shut up with that now Emile! The time has come, we must spring for a star player.

A.Young: Awesome! Anyone in mind boss?

MON: As a matter of fact yes Ashley, I'm talking a player with european pedigree.

Downing: ooh is it Dan Nistlerooy or that Hunt-Antler fella like?!

Bouma: Van Nistlerooy and Huntelarr.

Downing: Aye tha's what I said like, Hunt-Antler .... Who are yas anywee? Ye look like that wee fella from star wars man.

Bouma: I'm Wilfred Bouma, and I'm an expert on all things dutch, seriously ask me a question about windmills....

MON: Enough of your idle chat, I'm talking about a player capable of grabbing goals with abilities reaching the highest echelon of football.

A.Young: So we can afford such a player? Great! I was beginning to wonder....

MON: Afford him Ashley? Why a player of this experience and talent is priceless, but he shall play for Aston Villa.

*The lads now look suspiscious*

Dunne: So bass, have ya started talks with the ....

*the lads all stare in disbelief as MON unzips his tracksuit jacket and pulls down his tracksuit bottoms to reveal a full Aston Villa kit.*

Heskey: ....But boss, I don't think....

MON: Yes and you don't score goals! If Sol Campbell can resurrect his career at 65, so can I.

Heskey: Boss really, I'm not sure....

MON: I already have a number of goal celebrations prepared.

*MON starts doing 'the snake' with his arms*

MON: Ho ho, I've still got it, look at that.

Heskey: But you're not even a striker.

*MON stares at Heskey his eyebrows raised high above his glasses, Heskey lowers his head*



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs
Date:Thursday January 28 2010
Time: 4:06PM

Comments

0
"Bouma: I'm Wilfred Bouma, and I'm an expert on all things dutch, seriously ask me a question about windmills...." ............ BRILLIANT, LMFAO !!!
AV-Damo
28/01/2010 20:04:00
0
"Bouma: I'm Wilfred Bouma, and I'm an expert on all things dutch, seriously ask me a question about windmills...." ............ BRILLIANT, LMFAO !!!
AV-Damo
28/01/2010 20:04:00
0
top drawer! nearly as good as MON sliding down the stripper pole!
intox
28/01/2010 21:55:00
0
top drawer! nearly as good as MON sliding down the stripper pole!
intox
28/01/2010 21:55:00
0
'MON: Yes and you don't score goals! If Sol Campbell can resurrect his career at 65, so can I.' Quality line. Great Hercs
FootyFans
29/01/2010 07:16:00
0
'MON: Yes and you don't score goals! If Sol Campbell can resurrect his career at 65, so can I.' Quality line. Great Hercs
FootyFans
29/01/2010 07:16:00
0
thats the funniest one yet - lol
tvrwhitey
29/01/2010 07:56:00
0
thats the funniest one yet - lol
tvrwhitey
29/01/2010 07:56:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Stats: Leeds v Aston Villa

All the stats from Leeds (2) vs (0) Aston Villa, Elland Road, 3/12/16 Att: 32,648

Leeds United v Aston Villa - Team Sheets

Aston Villa go to Elland Road as the visitors to Leeds for the latest Championship game.

Leeds United v Aston Villa - Follow On Twitter

Aston Villa go to Elland Road as the visitors to Leeds today, this will be a 5:30pm kick-off.

The Villa Times - 03/12/2016 (AVFC News Round-up)

The latest Villa news, coming thick and fast at the moment, via the fishy one...

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Leeds MotM
Suggested By: Site Staff
Gollini5%
Hutton5%
Elphick0%
Chester11%
Amavi0%
Westwood17%
Jedinak11%
Gardner0%
Adomah41%
Gestede5%
Kodjia0%
Sub - Grealish0%
Sub - Ayew0%
Sub - Agbonlahor5%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Newcastle 19 13 1 5 40 21
2 Brighton 19 11 6 2 39 17
3 Reading 19 10 4 5 34 1
4 Leeds Utd 19 10 2 7 32 3
5 Birmingham 19 8 7 4 31 2
6 Sheff Wed 19 9 4 6 31 1
7 Norwich 19 9 3 7 30 4
8 Huddersfield 19 9 3 7 30 -3
9 Derby County 19 8 5 6 29 4
10 Fulham 19 7 7 5 28 9
11 Bristol City 19 8 3 8 27 4
12 Barnsley 19 7 4 8 25 3
13 Forest 19 7 4 8 25 1
14 Preston 19 7 4 8 25 1
15 Aston Villa 19 5 10 4 25 1
16 Ipswich 19 6 6 7 24 -2
17 Q.P.R. 19 6 5 8 23 -8
18 Brentford 19 6 4 9 22 -2
19 Burton 19 5 7 7 22 -4
20 Wolves 19 5 6 8 21 -3
21 Blackburn 19 5 5 9 20 -7
22 Cardiff 19 5 4 10 19 -12
23 Wigan 19 4 6 9 18 -5
24 Rotherham 19 1 4 14 7 -26
Write for Vital Football
Latest F1 News
What next for Mercedes?
Latest Vital Boxing News
BBBoC to Hold Hearing After Blackwell Incident
The Vital Football Members League

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Dec 3 2016 5:30PM : Leeds United (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Dec 10 2016 3:00PM : Wigan Athletic (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Dec 13 2016 7:45PM : Norwich City (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Dec 18 2016 12:00PM : Queens Park Rangers (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Dec 26 2016 3:00PM : Burton Albion (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Dec 29 2016 7:45PM : Leeds United (H)
Sky Bet Championship

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.The Fear73
2.JuanPabloAngel48
3.sirdennis37
4.HeathfieldRoad187435
5.BodyButter30
6.Wurzel22
7.TuBBz20
8.Melon Donkey19
9.Stephen Jay Hawkings18
10.DeanoVilla15
Vital Football Comment