Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

Hercs 'In The Dressing Room' Before Arsenal

Hercs 'In The Dressing Room' Before Arsenal

*We join the lads preparing for their match against Arsenal*

MON: OK lads, settle down. Craig Gardner is gone, he was a long serving player here so I thought I'd begin today's team talk with an opportunity to talk about the memorable moments he had at the club.

*MON stares at the lads, minutes pass in silence, Carew is twiddling his thumbs, Gabby is watching a fly buzz around the room, he begins matching it's buzzing noise*

MON: Now come on, there must be something? How about you Big John? Memories?

*Carew sits to attention looking sharply left and right*

Carew: Mammaries?

MON: No, Craig Gardner memories!?

Carew: Oh, Well ..... He scored a cracking goal for Jamaica a while back, World Cup I think, I mean I have respect for anyone who manages to captain their country.

MON: That's Ricardo Gardner. Right someone must have something, Gabriel! Stop following the fly!

Gabby: Bzz?

MON: Craig Gardner moment?

Gabby: I liked the bit where he got caught having an affair with that Eva Longoria lady.

MON: Are you talking about THE gardener from the televison programme, 'Desperate Housewives' Gabriel?

Gabby: No Craig Gar.... No, no, you're right yeah, Desperate Housewives.

MON: Right so we've got nothing then?

A.Young: Well what's your favourite Craig moment boss?

*MON strokes his chin deep in thought ... Drifting to his favourite memory of Craig Gardner....*

~~~~~~~~

MON: Hi Craig!

Gardner: Hi boss, why have you called me to your office? Is it to talk about Villa? I love the Villa boss, I'm a lifelong fan!

*Gardner kisses the badge on his shirt*

MON: Um ... Yes sort of, I just need you to sign something.

*MON pushes forward a piece of paper with another sheet on top obscuring most of the details*

Gardner: What is it boss?

MON: It's just something to say that you want to play first team football.

Gardner: I've not had to sign anything like that before boss?

MON: Well you don't play first team football Craig, you wouldn't know would you?

Gardner: Guess not boss.

*Gardner signs and exits whistling 'Holte Enders in the Sky' to himself*

MON: Excellent.

*MON removes the top sheet to reveal Gardner's new Birmingham City contract and opens his draw to look at the bundles of Hong Kong Dollars*
~~~~~~~~

A.Young: Boss? ...... Boss?

*MON is chuckling to himself*

MON: Oh sorry, yes Ashley?

A.Young: Nevermind, kick off's soon what's the plan against Arsenal?

MON: ...... Kick them.



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs
Date:Wednesday January 27 2010
Time: 3:08PM

Best of Vital Network

Vital Boxing - Tyson Fury Will Be Back!

Comments

0
another excellent edition, keep them coming, these are brilliant!
LHrover
27/01/2010 15:12:00
0
another excellent edition, keep them coming, these are brilliant!
LHrover
27/01/2010 15:12:00
0
I know it's all a bit of fun, but just thought, in case people forgot, there was a Craig moment - he's volley at Bolton away a couple of years ago - dropped over his head and he smashed it on the volley into the back of the net, great technique.
Longman
27/01/2010 15:22:00
0
I know it's all a bit of fun, but just thought, in case people forgot, there was a Craig moment - he's volley at Bolton away a couple of years ago - dropped over his head and he smashed it on the volley into the back of the net, great technique.
Longman
27/01/2010 15:22:00
0
Some things you don't forget Longman
steff_the_villan
27/01/2010 15:29:00
0
Carew: Mammaries? lol
FootyFans
27/01/2010 15:29:00
0
Some things you don't forget Longman
steff_the_villan
27/01/2010 15:29:00
0
Carew: Mammaries? lol
FootyFans
27/01/2010 15:29:00
0
as funny as toothpaste that :)
Adbo9
27/01/2010 15:46:00
0
as funny as toothpaste that :)
Adbo9
27/01/2010 15:46:00
Page 1/2
  1. 1
  2. 2

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Top 20 Club Wage Bills

As we come to the end of the annual summer financial focus with one season ending and another now well underway, here are the top 20 wage bills across European sides.

Aston Villa Ticket Consultation Group Meeting 3

The 3rd consultation group with reference to Aston Villa away ticketing.

EFL - The Stats Ten Games In (30/9/16)

The Football League, or as it wants to be known now, the EFL, have compiled the statistics with the vast majority of clubs now ten games into the new 2016/17 season.

Chester Gets Wales Call (30/9/16)

James Chester has been called up by Wales manager Chris Coleman for the coming international break.

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Aston Villa v PNE (away) will
Suggested By: Mystic Mug
Win25%
Lose0%
Draw - again *sigh*75%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Huddersfield 10 7 1 2 22 5
2 Norwich 10 6 2 2 20 5
3 Newcastle 10 6 1 3 19 11
4 Brighton 10 5 3 2 18 6
5 Brentford 10 5 2 3 17 9
6 Bristol City 10 5 2 3 17 6
7 Birmingham 10 4 5 1 17 4
8 Sheff Wed 10 5 2 3 17 0
9 Reading 10 5 2 3 17 -3
10 Barnsley 10 5 1 4 16 6
11 Wolves 10 4 3 3 15 2
12 Fulham 10 3 5 2 14 -2
13 Ipswich 10 3 4 3 13 0
14 Leeds Utd 10 4 1 5 13 -2
15 Forest 10 3 3 4 12 -2
16 Q.P.R. 10 3 3 4 12 -4
17 Aston Villa 10 1 7 2 10 0
18 Burton 10 2 4 4 10 -2
19 Preston 10 3 1 6 10 -4
20 Derby County 10 2 3 5 9 -4
21 Wigan 10 2 2 6 8 -2
22 Blackburn 10 2 2 6 8 -7
23 Cardiff 10 2 2 6 8 -9
24 Rotherham 10 1 3 6 6 -13
Vital Football Comment
Latest F1 News
2016 Malaysia GP - FP2
Latest Vital Boxing News
Tyson Fury Will Be Back!
Write for Vital Football

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Oct 1 2016 3:00PM : Preston North End (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Oct 15 2016 5:30PM : Wolverhampton Wanderers (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Oct 18 2016 8:00PM : Reading (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Oct 22 2016 3:00PM : Fulham (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Oct 30 2016 12:00PM : Birmingham City (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Nov 5 2016 3:00PM : Blackburn Rovers (H)
Sky Bet Championship

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.The Fear663
2.sirdennis389
3.glensider364
4.Fulford339
5.Melon Donkey247
6.Silhillvilla239
7.villasince67199
8.kefkat189
9.holtelower165
10.DeanoVilla160
The Vital Football Members League