Aston Villa - Hercs 'In The Dressing Room' After Semi Win
UK time is: 02:31:18
Vital Login
Social Login

Choose your club

Other Sites

Network Navigation

Vital Partners

'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Hercs 'In The Dressing Room' After Semi Win

*The victorious Villa lads are celebrating wildly, MON is doing a dance and drinking champagne from the bottle, he's wearing a tie around his head*

MON: Ho, ho it's been a while since I've done my Wembley jig!

*MON throws his arms around Heskey and Agbonlahor*

MON: You two guys, you're the best striker pairing since records began!

Heskey: After West Ham you said we were 'Half-witted eejit's who couldn't score with a craft knife'

MON: What!? Me!? Noooo never!

Gabby: You just repeated it at half time!

MON: Well things are different now! Emile, I mean beating the back line and masterfully rounding the keeper in a one-on-one to finish from an acute angle ... It's what you're all about!

*Heskey nods proudly in agreement'

MON: and Gabby, well no-one gets in the way of our shots and claims them quite like you.

*Gabby looks pleased*

MON: And where's my defence? My lovely defence?

*The players tentatively raise their hands*

MON: Best defensive display I've ever seen.

Dunne: But we conceeded four goals bass! I think that ....

Warnock, Collins & Cuellar: Ssssssssh!!!

Milner: Boss, is that my man of the match champeern like?

MON: Yes James my boy it is, you see in many ways I was the man of the match, I kicked every ball out there tonight.

Milner: Aye but ya dinnae really kick a ball though did ya like?

MON: Oh didn't I James?

Milner: No.

MON: Oh, but Didn't I?

Milner: No!

*Milner wrestles the champagne away from MON, Sam Allardyce sticks his head around the door*

Big Sam: 'allo everywun, I say 'allo everywun.

MON: Hello Allardyce you miserable, bitter, sore loser.

Big Sam: Well I was gonna ask, I say I was gonna ask where my tie was but I see you have it strapped to your head!

MON: That's right Allardyce we won the match and your tie so shoo up back up to Blackburn and take your band of thugs with you.

*The Villa Dressing Room Cheers, Carew and NRC enter .... Singing*


Carew: (with bandaged knee): I've just been at, a club, with girls.

NRC: I asked my agent, where will I be?

Milner: With so much running, I have a stitch.

MON: I've drunk so much I can't see!

All the Lads (swaying and singing): Que Sera Sera, whatever will be, will be! We're going to Wemb-er-ly! Que Sera Sera!




Use your social login to comment on front page articles. Login using you Facebook, Twitter, Google or LinkedIn accounts and have your say!



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Thursday January 21 2010

Time: 12:19PM

Your Comments (oldest first)

Change to most recent first
another good one, hercs, can you do one for tottenham...??? just send it to ox, he'll publish it...
vangogo
Report Abuse
21/01/2010 12:26:00

another good one, hercs, can you do one for tottenham...??? just send it to ox, he'll publish it...
vangogo
Report Abuse
21/01/2010 12:26:00

Isn't Milner from Yorkshire?
young_jonah
Report Abuse
21/01/2010 13:49:00

Isn't Milner from Yorkshire?
young_jonah
Report Abuse
21/01/2010 13:49:00

Whoever you are Hercs, I think you are in my top10 favourite people in the world, I look forward to these everyweek :-)

PS Can i just say, Big Sam, what a Bell - he really annoyed me!!!
davidsands1982
Report Abuse
21/01/2010 14:00:00

Whoever you are Hercs, I think you are in my top10 favourite people in the world, I look forward to these everyweek :-)

PS Can i just say, Big Sam, what a Bell - he really annoyed me!!!
davidsands1982
Report Abuse
21/01/2010 14:00:00

Loving the geordie accent for Milner, funniest bit of these yet - young_jonah, guess you don't get it...
Longman
Report Abuse
21/01/2010 21:02:00

Loving the geordie accent for Milner, funniest bit of these yet - young_jonah, guess you don't get it...
Longman
Report Abuse
21/01/2010 21:02:00

milner is from yorkshire, fact
benham
Report Abuse
22/01/2010 10:59:00

milner is from yorkshire, fact
benham
Report Abuse
22/01/2010 10:59:00

Next he will have Cuellar talking with a Scottish accent
young_jonah
Report Abuse
22/01/2010 11:00:00

Next he will have Cuellar talking with a Scottish accent
young_jonah
Report Abuse
22/01/2010 11:00:00

Jesus Benham, are you and Young_Jonah forming a humourless brigade - we all know Milner is from Yorkshire that's why the Geordie accent is funny, a Scottish accent for cuellar but with the odd spanish inflection would be genius
Longman
Report Abuse
22/01/2010 14:57:00

Jesus Benham, are you and Young_Jonah forming a humourless brigade - we all know Milner is from Yorkshire that's why the Geordie accent is funny, a Scottish accent for cuellar but with the odd spanish inflection would be genius
Longman
Report Abuse
22/01/2010 14:57:00

We've had this coversation before I'm sure, Yes I'm well aware Milner is a yorkshireman, I portray him as a Geordie because he's played for Newcastle and anyone who plays for them becomes an honourary geordie (like Keegan .... Also a yorkshireman originally by the way). As for the Cuellar thing, the earlier ones had Cuellar speaking "scottish" with an interpreter on hand as no-one could understand it. I can only assume that you've (young_jonah) put "Next he will have Cuellar talking with a scottish accent" to make it appear like it was your idea or say "I told you so". In either case thanks for the brilliant idea, I'll definitely go back in time and use it.
Hercs
Report Abuse
22/01/2010 15:42:00

We've had this coversation before I'm sure, Yes I'm well aware Milner is a yorkshireman, I portray him as a Geordie because he's played for Newcastle and anyone who plays for them becomes an honourary geordie (like Keegan .... Also a yorkshireman originally by the way). As for the Cuellar thing, the earlier ones had Cuellar speaking "scottish" with an interpreter on hand as no-one could understand it. I can only assume that you've (young_jonah) put "Next he will have Cuellar talking with a scottish accent" to make it appear like it was your idea or say "I told you so". In either case thanks for the brilliant idea, I'll definitely go back in time and use it.
Hercs
Report Abuse
22/01/2010 15:42:00

jonah - he is a yorks whippet - they talk like that oop there like... THese hecs things are quality - keep em coming - defo made my firday!
avmalada
Report Abuse
29/01/2010 16:24:00

jonah - he is a yorks whippet - they talk like that oop there like... THese hecs things are quality - keep em coming - defo made my firday!
avmalada
Report Abuse
29/01/2010 16:24:00

 

Have Your Say

Log in...
with your social network     OR     with your Vital account

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Villa Confirm 25 Man Premier League Squad (Thursday September 3 2015)

Sherwood On Gana - Richards On Gil (Thursday September 3 2015)

The Vital Villa Player Of August 2015 (Thursday September 3 2015)

Brad Guzan Remains USA No 1... For Now (Thursday September 3 2015)

Sherwood Ready To Take The Praise Or Blame (Thursday September 3 2015)

Ilori Makes Move On Loan (Tuesday September 1 2015)

Bennett Gets Cherries Loan (Tuesday September 1 2015)

Lescott On Joining Boyhood Club (Tuesday September 1 2015)

Archived Aston Villa Articles

List All Vital Villa Articles
Have your say
Click here to suggest an article
Click here to suggest a poll
ScoopDragon Premier League Network Sites

Vital Members League (view all)

League Results (view all)

League Table (view table)

Team P W D L GD Pts
9. Everton 4 1 2 1 1 5
10. Southampton 4 1 2 1 0 5
11. AFC Bournemouth 4 1 1 2 -1 4
12. Aston Villa 4 1 1 2 -1 4
13. Chelsea 4 1 1 2 -3 4
14. Norwich 4 1 1 2 -3 4
15. WBA 4 1 1 2 -3 4

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Breaking League News

Stoke submit 25-man Premier League squad
Stoke : 03/09/2015 23:30:00
Albion Confirm 25 Man Squad
WBA : 03/09/2015 19:27:01
Newcastle Announce Premier League Squad
Newcastle : 03/09/2015 19:18:01
City Announce 2015-16 Premier League Squad
Man City : 03/09/2015 19:12:00
Palace Announce 25 Man Squad
Crystal Palace : 03/09/2015 19:05:00

Current Site Poll (view all polls)

How Was The Summer Transfer Window For You!?
Suggested By:  JP Fear
Excellent 29%
Good 64%
Average 6%
Poor 1%
Awful 0%