UK time is: 12:38:39
Vital Login
Social Login

Choose your club

Other Sites

Network Navigation

Vital Partners

'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Hercs In The Dressing Room (Spoof)

*We join the lads pleased with the draw against West Ham. MON enters*

MON: Defenders well done, nice clean sheet. Midfielders, good battling, some good creative work out there.

*MON starts heading toward his office*

Gabby: And the strikers?

*MON turns back to the players, looking over his glasses*

MON: Strikers? Oh I'm sorry Gabriel I didn't realise there were any strikers playing!

Gabby: Boss ... Are you ... angry? Because on the interview you said ...

MON: Yes I'm angry, West Ham fielded a 10 year old who looked more of a threat than you three stooges!

Gabby: He's 18 boss.

MON: Oh so now you choose to be accurate Gabriel!?

Heskey: Boss calm down the vein on your head is ....

MON: Why don't you shoot Emile?

Heskey: What? Now?

MON: Now?! You don't even have a ball! I mean on the pitch, you're a forward for God's sake act like one.

Heskey: But .... But I bring something different to the table.

MON: 'But I bring something different to the table' wah, wah, wah.

*MON feigns rubbing his eyes*

Heskey: You monster!

*Heskey flees from the dressing room hiding his tears with his forearm*

MON: And you, you don't care do you!?

*MON points at Carew who is filing his nails singing 'John Carew, Carew' quietly to himself*

MON: I know you can hear me John!

Carew: he's gonna score one or two....

MON: John!?

Carew: John Carew, Carew.

MON: Great! You know what this means don't you? Every Tom, Dick and Harry whining that we need a 20 goal a season super-hero with bionic legs and a telescopic head.

A.Young: Like Inspector Gadget boss?

MON: Yes, like Inspector bloody Gadget! Or some foreign striker they bought on their 'play box station' computer game thing!

*Gabby raises his hand*

Gabbys: Boss they're called .....

*MON removes his glasses, Gabby lowers his hand*




Use your social login to comment on front page articles. Login using you Facebook, Twitter, Google or LinkedIn accounts and have your say!



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Monday January 18 2010

Time: 1:04PM

Your Comments (oldest first)

Change to most recent first
why don't you shoot emile 'what now?' LOL
The Fear
Report Abuse
18/01/2010 13:06:00

why don't you shoot emile 'what now?' LOL
The Fear
Report Abuse
18/01/2010 13:06:00

I need a subscription to you hercs... this is some really good stuff
vangogo
Report Abuse
18/01/2010 13:16:00

I need a subscription to you hercs... this is some really good stuff
vangogo
Report Abuse
18/01/2010 13:16:00

hercs, youre about as funny as herpes
Adbo9
Report Abuse
18/01/2010 13:22:00

hercs, youre about as funny as herpes
Adbo9
Report Abuse
18/01/2010 13:22:00

Ha I actually bet this really happened too! Apart from MON also called them a bunch of Tw4ts not just the fans he had a ruck with ha!
leelindsay
Report Abuse
18/01/2010 13:25:00

Ha I actually bet this really happened too! Apart from MON also called them a bunch of Tw4ts not just the fans he had a ruck with ha!
leelindsay
Report Abuse
18/01/2010 13:25:00

Cheers Adbo9, the plaudits just keep coming in.
Hercs
Report Abuse
18/01/2010 14:11:00

Cheers Adbo9, the plaudits just keep coming in.
Hercs
Report Abuse
18/01/2010 14:11:00

I needed a laf. Cheers Hercs.
revdpete
Report Abuse
18/01/2010 14:31:00

I needed a laf. Cheers Hercs.
revdpete
Report Abuse
18/01/2010 14:31:00

That has just made this Monday a bit easier to swallow,
cheers Hercs :-)
davidsands1982
Report Abuse
18/01/2010 14:41:00

That has just made this Monday a bit easier to swallow,
cheers Hercs :-)
davidsands1982
Report Abuse
18/01/2010 14:41:00

when an old girlfriend got herpes - i thought it was extremely funny
Lost_In_Ca
Report Abuse
18/01/2010 15:08:00

when an old girlfriend got herpes - i thought it was extremely funny
Lost_In_Ca
Report Abuse
18/01/2010 15:08:00

trust me, herpes is amazin !
Adbo9
Report Abuse
18/01/2010 15:37:00

trust me, herpes is amazin !
Adbo9
Report Abuse
18/01/2010 15:37:00

"Oh so now you choose to be accurate Gabriel!?" Class :-)
badger0-0
Report Abuse
18/01/2010 15:39:00

"Oh so now you choose to be accurate Gabriel!?" Class :-)
badger0-0
Report Abuse
18/01/2010 15:39:00

Brilliant!
Madirish
Report Abuse
18/01/2010 22:28:00

Brilliant!
Madirish
Report Abuse
18/01/2010 22:28:00

 

Have Your Say

Log in...
with your social network     OR     with your Vital account

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Archived Aston Villa Articles

List All Vital Villa Articles
Have your say
Click here to suggest an article
Click here to suggest a poll
ScoopDragon Premier League Network Sites

Vital Members League (view all)

League Results (view all)

League Table (view table)

Team P W D L GD Pts
14. Everton 27 6 10 11 -6 28
15. Hull City 27 6 8 13 -11 26
16. Sunderland 27 4 13 10 -16 25
17. Q.P.R. 26 6 4 16 -18 22
18. Burnley 27 4 10 13 -20 22
19. Aston Villa 27 5 7 15 -24 22
20. Leicester City 26 4 6 16 -18 18

Breaking League News

Long Pleased To Be Back
Southampton : 03/03/2015 12:36:00
Koeman On Confident Crystal Palace
Southampton : 03/03/2015 12:27:00
Koeman - Five Wins For The Season
Southampton : 03/03/2015 12:21:00
Aarons Explains Lengthy Lay Off
Newcastle : 03/03/2015 12:07:00
Janmaat & Sissoko Ahead Of Manchester United
Newcastle : 03/03/2015 12:00:00

Current Site Poll (view all polls)

Villa v WBA will:
Suggested By:  Mystic Mug
Win 52%
Lose 32%
Draw 16%