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Hercs In The Dressing Room (Spoof)

*We join the lads pleased with the draw against West Ham. MON enters*

MON: Defenders well done, nice clean sheet. Midfielders, good battling, some good creative work out there.

*MON starts heading toward his office*

Gabby: And the strikers?

*MON turns back to the players, looking over his glasses*

MON: Strikers? Oh I'm sorry Gabriel I didn't realise there were any strikers playing!

Gabby: Boss ... Are you ... angry? Because on the interview you said ...

MON: Yes I'm angry, West Ham fielded a 10 year old who looked more of a threat than you three stooges!

Gabby: He's 18 boss.

MON: Oh so now you choose to be accurate Gabriel!?

Heskey: Boss calm down the vein on your head is ....

MON: Why don't you shoot Emile?

Heskey: What? Now?

MON: Now?! You don't even have a ball! I mean on the pitch, you're a forward for God's sake act like one.

Heskey: But .... But I bring something different to the table.

MON: 'But I bring something different to the table' wah, wah, wah.

*MON feigns rubbing his eyes*

Heskey: You monster!

*Heskey flees from the dressing room hiding his tears with his forearm*

MON: And you, you don't care do you!?

*MON points at Carew who is filing his nails singing 'John Carew, Carew' quietly to himself*

MON: I know you can hear me John!

Carew: he's gonna score one or two....

MON: John!?

Carew: John Carew, Carew.

MON: Great! You know what this means don't you? Every Tom, Dick and Harry whining that we need a 20 goal a season super-hero with bionic legs and a telescopic head.

A.Young: Like Inspector Gadget boss?

MON: Yes, like Inspector bloody Gadget! Or some foreign striker they bought on their 'play box station' computer game thing!

*Gabby raises his hand*

Gabbys: Boss they're called .....

*MON removes his glasses, Gabby lowers his hand*




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The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Monday January 18 2010

Time: 1:04PM

Your Comments (oldest first)

Change to most recent first
why don't you shoot emile 'what now?' LOL
The Fear
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18/01/2010 13:06:00

why don't you shoot emile 'what now?' LOL
The Fear
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18/01/2010 13:06:00

I need a subscription to you hercs... this is some really good stuff
vangogo
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18/01/2010 13:16:00

I need a subscription to you hercs... this is some really good stuff
vangogo
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18/01/2010 13:16:00

hercs, youre about as funny as herpes
Adbo9
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18/01/2010 13:22:00

hercs, youre about as funny as herpes
Adbo9
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18/01/2010 13:22:00

Ha I actually bet this really happened too! Apart from MON also called them a bunch of Tw4ts not just the fans he had a ruck with ha!
leelindsay
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18/01/2010 13:25:00

Ha I actually bet this really happened too! Apart from MON also called them a bunch of Tw4ts not just the fans he had a ruck with ha!
leelindsay
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18/01/2010 13:25:00

Cheers Adbo9, the plaudits just keep coming in.
Hercs
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18/01/2010 14:11:00

Cheers Adbo9, the plaudits just keep coming in.
Hercs
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18/01/2010 14:11:00

I needed a laf. Cheers Hercs.
revdpete
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18/01/2010 14:31:00

I needed a laf. Cheers Hercs.
revdpete
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18/01/2010 14:31:00

That has just made this Monday a bit easier to swallow,
cheers Hercs :-)
davidsands1982
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18/01/2010 14:41:00

That has just made this Monday a bit easier to swallow,
cheers Hercs :-)
davidsands1982
Report Abuse
18/01/2010 14:41:00

when an old girlfriend got herpes - i thought it was extremely funny
Lost_In_Ca
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18/01/2010 15:08:00

when an old girlfriend got herpes - i thought it was extremely funny
Lost_In_Ca
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18/01/2010 15:08:00

trust me, herpes is amazin !
Adbo9
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18/01/2010 15:37:00

trust me, herpes is amazin !
Adbo9
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18/01/2010 15:37:00

"Oh so now you choose to be accurate Gabriel!?" Class :-)
badger0-0
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18/01/2010 15:39:00

"Oh so now you choose to be accurate Gabriel!?" Class :-)
badger0-0
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18/01/2010 15:39:00

Brilliant!
Madirish
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18/01/2010 22:28:00

Brilliant!
Madirish
Report Abuse
18/01/2010 22:28:00

 

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