Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

In The Dressing Room - Pre-Carling Cup Semi!

In The Dressing Room - Pre-Carling Cup Semi!

*We join the lads gearing up for the first leg of their semi-final against Blackburn*

MON: I've got some sad news lads.

*The lads brace themselves for bad news*

MON: It's going to be tricky trying to keep Craig at the club....

*Craig Gardner is gripping both sides of the doorframe, MON is barging him in the back with his shoulder*

MON: See the thing is, he wants first team football and the offer from the Blue side of the City is too good to pass for him.

*MON is continually attempting to ram Gardner out of the door, he is barely budging*

Gardner: No! I didn't say that! Let me stay, I don't want first team football, I'll do anything!

MON: It's not that I want the £3.5 million lads, we just don't want to hold back Craig's career.

*MON is biting Gardner's hand, whilst still trying to force him out the door*

Gardner: Look I've got plans I could be another lion mascot, like a Scrappy-doo type one, the kids 'll love it and I can .....

MON: No, no Craig we wouldn't want to keep you here another season against your will.

*Alex McCleish arrives with a large novelty cheque and a cat carrier*

Garder: No! Nooooo!

*MON and McCleish stuff Gardner into the cat carrier, he's still scratching at the door*

McCleish: Och! He's a feisty 'un he'll fit righ' in.

*MON yanks the cheque and slams the door in McCleish's face*

MON: No refunds! Anyway lads, I'll keep it short we have a psychological advantage going into this match. I have something for each of you.

*MON walks by all the lads handing them each a suitcase. The lads pop them open to reveal....*

A.Young: Rifles!?

MON: Rifles, now if any Blackburn player enters the box, bring the mother down.

*Delph raises his hand*

MON: Fabian?

Delph: I'm not sure the FA allows the use of rifles boss, if we use them on players in the box we're bound to give away penalties and perhaps be prosecuted by the laws of the land?

MON: Have you never heard commentators say 'if he'd done that on the street he'd have been arrested'?

Delph: Yes Mr. Martin but I don't think that...

MON: It's different rules on the pitch Fabian, you'll learn that.

*Dunne raise his hand*

MON: Richard?

Dunne: and tha' pennos bass?

MON: Brad Guzan.

*The dressing room nods and makes a sound of satisfaction and agreement*

Sidwell: Boss, why have I not got a rifle?

MON: You're dangerous enough Steve.

*The dressing room erupts with laughter*



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs
Date:Monday January 4 2010
Time: 11:54AM

Comments

0
haha, great article, really made me chuckle.
LHrover
04/01/2010 13:32:00
0
haha, great article, really made me chuckle.
LHrover
04/01/2010 13:32:00
0
Brilliant Hercs. Need to hear more from the Brad's though. Don't think you've used them yet?
JayVFC
05/01/2010 07:17:00
0
Brilliant Hercs. Need to hear more from the Brad's though. Don't think you've used them yet?
JayVFC
05/01/2010 07:17:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Taylor Tribute Set For Preston

With Aston Villa marking the passing of Graham Taylor in last weekend's match against Wolverhampton Wanderers, a special tribute is also planned...

Green Pleased With Bruce Praise

Andre Green has spoken of the boost he got personally from manager Steve Bruce's post game comments after the Wolverhampton Wanderers loss.

U23s - Aston Villa 0-0 Middlesbrough

Aston Villa hosted our Middlesbrough Under 23 counterparts yesterday evening at Villa Park and despite numerous chances and a missed penalty we came out with a point...

Riley Explains Postponements

It doesn't happen often in the Premier League or Championship thesedays, but League's 1 & 2 still suffer the odd postponement owing to the weather and Mike Riley...

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Play offs?
Suggested By: JP Fear
No chance71%
Yes3%
Still depends on signings26%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Newcastle 26 18 1 7 55 29
2 Brighton 25 16 6 3 54 23
3 Leeds Utd 26 15 3 8 48 11
4 Reading 25 14 4 7 46 3
5 Huddersfield 26 14 4 8 46 0
6 Sheff Wed 26 13 6 7 45 6
7 Derby County 26 11 7 8 40 5
8 Fulham 25 10 9 6 39 13
9 Preston 26 11 6 9 39 3
10 Barnsley 26 11 5 10 38 4
11 Norwich 26 11 4 11 37 3
12 Birmingham 26 9 9 8 36 -5
13 Aston Villa 26 8 11 7 35 1
14 Ipswich 26 9 7 10 34 -3
15 Brentford 26 9 6 11 33 0
16 Wolves 26 8 8 10 32 -1
17 Q.P.R. 26 9 5 12 32 -11
18 Cardiff 25 8 6 11 30 -10
19 Bristol City 26 8 3 15 27 -3
20 Forest 26 7 6 13 27 -8
21 Burton 26 6 7 13 25 -10
22 Blackburn 26 6 6 14 24 -12
23 Wigan 26 5 7 14 22 -9
24 Rotherham 26 4 4 18 16 -29
Write for Vital Football
Latest F1 News
British GP fate being discussed with F1 bosses
Latest Vital Boxing News
Callum Smith Set for WBC World Title Fight
The Vital Football Members League

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Jan 21 2017 3:00PM : Preston North End (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Jan 28 2017 3:00PM : Bristol City (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Jan 31 2017 7:45PM : Brentford (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Feb 4 2017 5:30PM : Nottingham Forest (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Feb 11 2017 3:00PM : Ipswich Town (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Feb 14 2017 7:45PM : Barnsley (H)
Sky Bet Championship

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.The Fear424
2.JuanPabloAngel280
3.Silhillvilla254
4.sirdennis215
5.Fulford205
6.Villan57176
7.Melon Donkey133
8.BodyButter106
9.danvilla2104
10.villasince6795
Vital Football Comment