Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

In The Dressing Room - Pre-Carling Cup Semi!

In The Dressing Room - Pre-Carling Cup Semi!

*We join the lads gearing up for the first leg of their semi-final against Blackburn*

MON: I've got some sad news lads.

*The lads brace themselves for bad news*

MON: It's going to be tricky trying to keep Craig at the club....

*Craig Gardner is gripping both sides of the doorframe, MON is barging him in the back with his shoulder*

MON: See the thing is, he wants first team football and the offer from the Blue side of the City is too good to pass for him.

*MON is continually attempting to ram Gardner out of the door, he is barely budging*

Gardner: No! I didn't say that! Let me stay, I don't want first team football, I'll do anything!

MON: It's not that I want the £3.5 million lads, we just don't want to hold back Craig's career.

*MON is biting Gardner's hand, whilst still trying to force him out the door*

Gardner: Look I've got plans I could be another lion mascot, like a Scrappy-doo type one, the kids 'll love it and I can .....

MON: No, no Craig we wouldn't want to keep you here another season against your will.

*Alex McCleish arrives with a large novelty cheque and a cat carrier*

Garder: No! Nooooo!

*MON and McCleish stuff Gardner into the cat carrier, he's still scratching at the door*

McCleish: Och! He's a feisty 'un he'll fit righ' in.

*MON yanks the cheque and slams the door in McCleish's face*

MON: No refunds! Anyway lads, I'll keep it short we have a psychological advantage going into this match. I have something for each of you.

*MON walks by all the lads handing them each a suitcase. The lads pop them open to reveal....*

A.Young: Rifles!?

MON: Rifles, now if any Blackburn player enters the box, bring the mother down.

*Delph raises his hand*

MON: Fabian?

Delph: I'm not sure the FA allows the use of rifles boss, if we use them on players in the box we're bound to give away penalties and perhaps be prosecuted by the laws of the land?

MON: Have you never heard commentators say 'if he'd done that on the street he'd have been arrested'?

Delph: Yes Mr. Martin but I don't think that...

MON: It's different rules on the pitch Fabian, you'll learn that.

*Dunne raise his hand*

MON: Richard?

Dunne: and tha' pennos bass?

MON: Brad Guzan.

*The dressing room nods and makes a sound of satisfaction and agreement*

Sidwell: Boss, why have I not got a rifle?

MON: You're dangerous enough Steve.

*The dressing room erupts with laughter*



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs
Date:Monday January 4 2010
Time: 11:54AM

Comments

0
haha, great article, really made me chuckle.
LHrover
04/01/2010 13:32:00
0
haha, great article, really made me chuckle.
LHrover
04/01/2010 13:32:00
0
Brilliant Hercs. Need to hear more from the Brad's though. Don't think you've used them yet?
JayVFC
05/01/2010 07:17:00
0
Brilliant Hercs. Need to hear more from the Brad's though. Don't think you've used them yet?
JayVFC
05/01/2010 07:17:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

The Weight Of Expectations At Aston Villa?

The weight of expectations? It's up to the players to resolve this.

The Villa Times - 23/02/2017 (Aston Villa News Round-up)

The uno fish ial Aston Villa news and views round up...

TV Figures So Far In 2016/17

With reports back in October suggesting that Premier League viewing figures were down...

Officials - Aston Villa v Derby (25/2/17)

The Football League have now announced the Match Day officials that will take charge of the game between Aston Villa and Derby County this Saturday.

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Staying Up
Suggested By: JP Fear
yes, staying up44%
no, going down24%
too close to call at the moment32%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Newcastle 32 22 3 7 69 37
2 Brighton 32 20 8 4 68 28
3 Huddersfield 32 20 4 8 64 8
4 Reading 33 18 6 9 60 5
5 Leeds Utd 33 18 4 11 58 11
6 Sheff Wed 33 17 7 9 58 10
7 Fulham 32 14 10 8 52 17
8 Norwich 33 15 6 12 51 11
9 Barnsley 33 14 7 12 49 4
10 Preston 33 13 10 10 49 4
11 Derby County 32 13 9 10 48 7
12 Cardiff 33 13 6 14 45 -2
13 Ipswich 33 10 11 12 41 -7
14 Brentford 32 11 7 14 40 0
15 Q.P.R. 33 11 7 15 40 -10
16 Birmingham 33 10 10 13 40 -14
17 Aston Villa 32 8 12 12 36 -8
18 Forest 33 10 6 17 36 -12
19 Wolves 31 9 8 14 35 -4
20 Burton 33 9 8 16 35 -13
21 Bristol City 32 9 5 18 32 -6
22 Wigan 33 7 9 17 30 -10
23 Blackburn 31 7 8 16 29 -13
24 Rotherham 33 4 5 24 17 -43
The Vital Football Members League
Latest F1 News
Renault take Red Bull aero expert
Latest Vital Boxing News
Washington Aiming to Beat Wilder this Saturday
Vital Football Comment

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Feb 25 2017 3:00PM : Derby County (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Feb 28 2017 7:45PM : Bristol City (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Mar 4 2017 3:00PM : Rotherham United (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Mar 7 2017 7:45PM : Huddersfield Town (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Mar 11 2017 3:00PM : Sheffield Wednesday (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Mar 18 2017 3:00PM : Wigan Athletic (a)
Sky Bet Championship

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.The Fear386
2.JuanPabloAngel353
3.sirdennis329
4.Fulford211
5.Melon Donkey189
6.Silhillvilla184
7.villasince67178
8.Villan57140
9.McParlandTheGreat137
10.kefkat136
Write for Vital Football