Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

In The Dressing Room - Pre-Carling Cup Semi!

In The Dressing Room - Pre-Carling Cup Semi!

*We join the lads gearing up for the first leg of their semi-final against Blackburn*

MON: I've got some sad news lads.

*The lads brace themselves for bad news*

MON: It's going to be tricky trying to keep Craig at the club....

*Craig Gardner is gripping both sides of the doorframe, MON is barging him in the back with his shoulder*

MON: See the thing is, he wants first team football and the offer from the Blue side of the City is too good to pass for him.

*MON is continually attempting to ram Gardner out of the door, he is barely budging*

Gardner: No! I didn't say that! Let me stay, I don't want first team football, I'll do anything!

MON: It's not that I want the £3.5 million lads, we just don't want to hold back Craig's career.

*MON is biting Gardner's hand, whilst still trying to force him out the door*

Gardner: Look I've got plans I could be another lion mascot, like a Scrappy-doo type one, the kids 'll love it and I can .....

MON: No, no Craig we wouldn't want to keep you here another season against your will.

*Alex McCleish arrives with a large novelty cheque and a cat carrier*

Garder: No! Nooooo!

*MON and McCleish stuff Gardner into the cat carrier, he's still scratching at the door*

McCleish: Och! He's a feisty 'un he'll fit righ' in.

*MON yanks the cheque and slams the door in McCleish's face*

MON: No refunds! Anyway lads, I'll keep it short we have a psychological advantage going into this match. I have something for each of you.

*MON walks by all the lads handing them each a suitcase. The lads pop them open to reveal....*

A.Young: Rifles!?

MON: Rifles, now if any Blackburn player enters the box, bring the mother down.

*Delph raises his hand*

MON: Fabian?

Delph: I'm not sure the FA allows the use of rifles boss, if we use them on players in the box we're bound to give away penalties and perhaps be prosecuted by the laws of the land?

MON: Have you never heard commentators say 'if he'd done that on the street he'd have been arrested'?

Delph: Yes Mr. Martin but I don't think that...

MON: It's different rules on the pitch Fabian, you'll learn that.

*Dunne raise his hand*

MON: Richard?

Dunne: and tha' pennos bass?

MON: Brad Guzan.

*The dressing room nods and makes a sound of satisfaction and agreement*

Sidwell: Boss, why have I not got a rifle?

MON: You're dangerous enough Steve.

*The dressing room erupts with laughter*

Date:Monday January 4 2010
Time: 11:54AM


haha, great article, really made me chuckle.
04/01/2010 13:32:00
haha, great article, really made me chuckle.
04/01/2010 13:32:00
Brilliant Hercs. Need to hear more from the Brad's though. Don't think you've used them yet?
05/01/2010 07:17:00
Brilliant Hercs. Need to hear more from the Brad's though. Don't think you've used them yet?
05/01/2010 07:17:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment


Recent Aston Villa Articles

Garde Talks Duverne & Fleetwood Friendly

Manager Remi Garde has been talking about the importance of fitness coach Robert Duverne and in today's friendly against Fleetwood Town we WON!

Striker Who Scores Linked With Villa Exit Shocker

Baffling... Kozak being linked with a Villa Park exit...

Garde Talks Gardner & Kozak

Manager Remi Garde has said that he'll be closely assessing the fitness of Gary Gardner and Libor Kozak in today's behind closed doors friendly against Fleetwood Town.

Pre Watford Information

With stepped up security for games following the events in Paris, Aston Villa have released a brief statement ahead of the Watford match.

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Mike Field
Steve Wade
Turkish Penguin
Chris Heath
M Calucar
JuanPablo Angel

Current Poll (see more polls)

Everton MotM
Suggested By: Site Staff
Sub - Sanchez69%
Sub - Gestede0%
Sub - N'Zogbia1%
ScoopDragon Premier League Network Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Leicester City 13 8 4 1 28 8
2 Man Utd 13 8 3 2 27 10
3 Man City 13 8 2 3 26 14
4 Arsenal 13 8 2 3 26 12
5 Spurs 13 6 6 1 24 13
6 West Ham 13 6 3 4 21 4
7 Everton 13 5 5 3 20 8
8 Southampton 13 5 5 3 20 5
9 Liverpool 13 5 5 3 20 2
10 Crystal Palace 13 6 1 6 19 1
11 Stoke 13 5 4 4 19 -1
12 WBA 13 5 2 6 17 -5
13 Watford 13 4 4 5 16 -2
14 Swansea 13 3 5 5 14 -4
15 Chelsea 13 4 2 7 14 -6
16 Norwich 13 3 3 7 12 -8
17 Newcastle 13 2 4 7 10 -12
18 Sunderland 13 2 3 8 9 -12
19 AFC Bournemouth 13 2 3 8 9 -13
20 Aston Villa 13 1 2 10 5 -14
Vital Football Comment
Latest F1 News
Renault takeover deal pretty much done
Latest Vital Boxing News
Tyson Fury on Doping!
Write for Vital Football

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Nov 28 2015 3:00PM : Watford (H)
Barclays Premier League
Dec 5 2015 3:00PM : Southampton (a)
Barclays Premier League
Dec 13 2015 1:30PM : Arsenal (H)
Barclays Premier League
Dec 19 2015 5:30PM : Newcastle United (a)
Barclays Premier League
Dec 26 2015 3:00PM : West Ham United (H)
Barclays Premier League
Dec 28 2015 3:00PM : Norwich City (a)
Barclays Premier League

Vital Members League Table

1.Pride of Lions924
2.The Fear555
The Vital Football Members League