Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

In The Dressing Room - Pre-Xmas Dinner

In The Dressing Room - Pre-Xmas Dinner

*We join the lads congregated in a dinner hall awaiting their Christmas dinner. Gabby and Petrov are playing chess on the set Gabby has just opened*

Petrov: so yes first you must move your knight or your pawn.

*Gabby giggles*

Gabby: My pawn.

Petrov: Yes this is what I said, move your pawn.

*Gabby giggles again*

Petrov: What is funny!? Move your pawn!

*Gabby falls about laughing, Petrov mutters in bulgarian and storms off*

*Heskey is asleep and snoring on a chair in a santa hat. Delfouneso and Delph are trying to wake him*

Delfouneso: Emile! Emile! Emile!

Delph: Emile! Emile!

Delfouneso & Delph: EMIIIIIIIIIILE!

*Heskey wakes with a start*

Heskey: What!?

Delph: Emile, you're missing Christmas!

Delfouneso: Yeah! Emile you're missing it, why are you sleeping!?

Heskey: I'm tired!

*Heskey turns and tries to get back to sleep*

Delph: Emile!

Delfouneso: Emile!

Delph: Emile!

Delfouneso: Emile!

Heskey: What!?

Delfouneso: How can you be tired? It's Christmas!

Delph: Yeah! it's Christmas!

*MON enters*

MON: OK everyone, 'round the table, christmas dinner's on it's way!

*Carew enters he's holding a giant turkey with his oven mitted hands, he's also wearing a frilly pinafore*

Cuellar: Och Johnny ye look like a girril in ya wee pinny!

*The Dinner hall erupts with laughter*

Delph (laughing): Pinny!

Carew: Pinny? What's a Pinny? You mean my waist cape? Only the manliest of men wear these in Norway.

*The Dinner hall erupts with laughter again*

Delph (wiping a tear from his eye): Waist Cape!

*Milner and Downing look disappointed by what is a truly magnificent turkey*

Carew: What's a matter guys ... You don't like my turkey?

Milner: It's nay that big lad, it's just ya southern softie Christmas dinnas man.

Downing: Aye, back oop north we'd get a house brick an' gravy like.

Delph: Surprise!

*Delph presents a house brick and a mug of gravy from behind his back, a tear rolls down Milner's cheek*

Milner: I've not been so happy since Jimmy Nail released his greatest hits man, Merry Christmas one an' all!

MON: Well James, as you improved so much this year and you've been my player of the season I have another surprise for you ..... Mr Jimmy Nail!

*Jimmy Nail enters the the dinner hall guitar in hand, Milner wells up*

Milner: Jimmy!?

Nail: Aye Jimmy

Milner: This Christmas is proper mint!

*Jimmy Nail plays Crocodile shoes, everyone sways and sings along*

Win FREE pizza with Vital Football!
Select your team and get 50% off if they score twice.
www.papajohns.co.uk/football



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs
Date:Tuesday December 22 2009
Time: 6:06PM

Comments

0
that was ***** !
Adbo9
22/12/2009 18:24:00
0
that was ***** !
Adbo9
22/12/2009 18:24:00
0
wtf
liamyid
22/12/2009 18:55:00
0
wtf
liamyid
22/12/2009 18:55:00
0
got to say I've got a soft spot for Jimmy Nail!
Merlin
22/12/2009 19:21:00
0
got to say I've got a soft spot for Jimmy Nail!
Merlin
22/12/2009 19:21:00
0
the image i have of heskey is beautiful. i bet he is like that at christmas as welll!
benji_starsky_avfc
22/12/2009 19:42:00
0
the image i have of heskey is beautiful. i bet he is like that at christmas as welll!
benji_starsky_avfc
22/12/2009 19:42:00
0
brilliant.
claretandbluearmy
22/12/2009 21:16:00
0
brilliant.
claretandbluearmy
22/12/2009 21:16:00
Page 1/2
  1. 1
  2. 2

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Match Day Officials v Newcastle (7/5/16)

The Premier League have now announced the Match Day officials that will take charge of the game against Newcastle United this weekend.

U21s - Villa To Face Arsenal

Aston Villa know their Premier League Division 2 Play Off final opponents - it's Arsenal.

Who Will Aston Villa Face In 2016/17 (3/5/16)

With less than a handful of games remaining in the 2015/16 campaign, some promotions and relegations in the football pyramid are already known.

Villa To Break The Bank For McCormack?

It's being reported that Aston Villa are hugely interested in Fulham goal machine Ross McCormack.

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Aston Villa meh v Newcastle Utd will
Suggested By: Mystic Mug
LOL.. win29%
Lose, it's what we do58%
Draw, meh13%
ScoopDragon Premier League Network Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
C Leicester City 36 22 11 3 77 30
2 Spurs 36 19 13 4 70 39
3 Arsenal 36 19 10 7 67 25
4 Man City 36 19 7 10 64 30
5 Man Utd 35 17 9 9 60 12
6 West Ham 35 15 14 6 59 17
7 Southampton 36 16 9 11 57 14
8 Liverpool 35 15 10 10 55 11
9 Chelsea 35 12 12 11 48 7
10 Stoke 36 13 9 14 48 -14
11 Everton 35 10 14 11 44 6
12 Watford 35 12 8 15 44 -6
13 Swansea 36 11 10 15 43 -13
14 WBA 36 10 11 15 41 -14
15 AFC Bournemouth 36 11 8 17 41 -20
16 Crystal Palace 36 10 9 17 39 -10
17 Newcastle 36 8 9 19 33 -25
18 Sunderland 35 7 11 17 32 -18
19 Norwich 35 8 7 20 31 -26
R Aston Villa 36 3 7 26 16 -45
Vital Football Comment
Latest F1 News
2016 has lacked ultimate thrill for Rosberg
Latest Vital Boxing News
That Joshua and Breazeale Bust-Up
Write for Vital Football

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

May 7 2016 3:00PM : Newcastle United (H)
Barclays Premier League
May 15 2016 3:00PM : Arsenal (a)
Barclays Premier League

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.Pride of Lions142
2.The Fear61
3.kefkat55
4.sirdennis43
5.Silhillvilla31
6.villasince6731
7."Merd"28
8.Thomas Holte26
9.DeanoVilla24
10.LORD RON SAUNDERS21
The Vital Football Members League