Date:Tuesday December 22 2009
*We join the lads congregated in a dinner hall awaiting their Christmas dinner. Gabby and Petrov are playing chess on the set Gabby has just opened*
Petrov: so yes first you must move your knight or your pawn.
Gabby: My pawn.
Petrov: Yes this is what I said, move your pawn.
*Gabby giggles again*
Petrov: What is funny!? Move your pawn!
*Gabby falls about laughing, Petrov mutters in bulgarian and storms off*
*Heskey is asleep and snoring on a chair in a santa hat. Delfouneso and Delph are trying to wake him*
Delfouneso: Emile! Emile! Emile!
Delph: Emile! Emile!
Delfouneso & Delph: EMIIIIIIIIIILE!
*Heskey wakes with a start*
Delph: Emile, you're missing Christmas!
Delfouneso: Yeah! Emile you're missing it, why are you sleeping!?
Heskey: I'm tired!
*Heskey turns and tries to get back to sleep*
Delfouneso: How can you be tired? It's Christmas!
Delph: Yeah! it's Christmas!
MON: OK everyone, 'round the table, christmas dinner's on it's way!
*Carew enters he's holding a giant turkey with his oven mitted hands, he's also wearing a frilly pinafore*
Cuellar: Och Johnny ye look like a girril in ya wee pinny!
*The Dinner hall erupts with laughter*
Delph (laughing): Pinny!
Carew: Pinny? What's a Pinny? You mean my waist cape? Only the manliest of men wear these in Norway.
*The Dinner hall erupts with laughter again*
Delph (wiping a tear from his eye): Waist Cape!
*Milner and Downing look disappointed by what is a truly magnificent turkey*
Carew: What's a matter guys ... You don't like my turkey?
Milner: It's nay that big lad, it's just ya southern softie Christmas dinnas man.
Downing: Aye, back oop north we'd get a house brick an' gravy like.
*Delph presents a house brick and a mug of gravy from behind his back, a tear rolls down Milner's cheek*
Milner: I've not been so happy since Jimmy Nail released his greatest hits man, Merry Christmas one an' all!
MON: Well James, as you improved so much this year and you've been my player of the season I have another surprise for you ..... Mr Jimmy Nail!
*Jimmy Nail enters the the dinner hall guitar in hand, Milner wells up*
Nail: Aye Jimmy
Milner: This Christmas is proper mint!
*Jimmy Nail plays Crocodile shoes, everyone sways and sings along*
Date:Tuesday December 22 2009
The Villa Times - 23/05/2013 (Thursday May 23 2013)
The Vital Villa Player Of The Season Is... (Thursday May 23 2013)
Bumper Transfer News - SOME Inward! (Thursday May 23 2013)
New Contracts? Better Deals? It's Only Money!! (Thursday May 23 2013)
Petrov Delighted With Assistant Coach Role (Wednesday May 22 2013)
Broadcasting Revenue For AVFC For 2012/13 Season (Wednesday May 22 2013)
N'Zogbia Exit And £5m Given To Keeper? (Wednesday May 22 2013)
Villa's Pre Season Schedule (Tuesday May 21 2013)
Vlaar Pleased With First Good Touch Of The Game (Tuesday May 21 2013)
Villa Season Ticket Help Sessions (Tuesday May 21 2013)
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