Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

In The Dressing Room - Pre-Xmas Dinner

In The Dressing Room - Pre-Xmas Dinner

*We join the lads congregated in a dinner hall awaiting their Christmas dinner. Gabby and Petrov are playing chess on the set Gabby has just opened*

Petrov: so yes first you must move your knight or your pawn.

*Gabby giggles*

Gabby: My pawn.

Petrov: Yes this is what I said, move your pawn.

*Gabby giggles again*

Petrov: What is funny!? Move your pawn!

*Gabby falls about laughing, Petrov mutters in bulgarian and storms off*

*Heskey is asleep and snoring on a chair in a santa hat. Delfouneso and Delph are trying to wake him*

Delfouneso: Emile! Emile! Emile!

Delph: Emile! Emile!

Delfouneso & Delph: EMIIIIIIIIIILE!

*Heskey wakes with a start*

Heskey: What!?

Delph: Emile, you're missing Christmas!

Delfouneso: Yeah! Emile you're missing it, why are you sleeping!?

Heskey: I'm tired!

*Heskey turns and tries to get back to sleep*

Delph: Emile!

Delfouneso: Emile!

Delph: Emile!

Delfouneso: Emile!

Heskey: What!?

Delfouneso: How can you be tired? It's Christmas!

Delph: Yeah! it's Christmas!

*MON enters*

MON: OK everyone, 'round the table, christmas dinner's on it's way!

*Carew enters he's holding a giant turkey with his oven mitted hands, he's also wearing a frilly pinafore*

Cuellar: Och Johnny ye look like a girril in ya wee pinny!

*The Dinner hall erupts with laughter*

Delph (laughing): Pinny!

Carew: Pinny? What's a Pinny? You mean my waist cape? Only the manliest of men wear these in Norway.

*The Dinner hall erupts with laughter again*

Delph (wiping a tear from his eye): Waist Cape!

*Milner and Downing look disappointed by what is a truly magnificent turkey*

Carew: What's a matter guys ... You don't like my turkey?

Milner: It's nay that big lad, it's just ya southern softie Christmas dinnas man.

Downing: Aye, back oop north we'd get a house brick an' gravy like.

Delph: Surprise!

*Delph presents a house brick and a mug of gravy from behind his back, a tear rolls down Milner's cheek*

Milner: I've not been so happy since Jimmy Nail released his greatest hits man, Merry Christmas one an' all!

MON: Well James, as you improved so much this year and you've been my player of the season I have another surprise for you ..... Mr Jimmy Nail!

*Jimmy Nail enters the the dinner hall guitar in hand, Milner wells up*

Milner: Jimmy!?

Nail: Aye Jimmy

Milner: This Christmas is proper mint!

*Jimmy Nail plays Crocodile shoes, everyone sways and sings along*



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs
Date:Tuesday December 22 2009
Time: 6:06PM

Comments

0
that was ***** !
Adbo9
22/12/2009 18:24:00
0
that was ***** !
Adbo9
22/12/2009 18:24:00
0
wtf
liamyid
22/12/2009 18:55:00
0
wtf
liamyid
22/12/2009 18:55:00
0
got to say I've got a soft spot for Jimmy Nail!
Merlin
22/12/2009 19:21:00
0
got to say I've got a soft spot for Jimmy Nail!
Merlin
22/12/2009 19:21:00
0
the image i have of heskey is beautiful. i bet he is like that at christmas as welll!
benji_starsky_avfc
22/12/2009 19:42:00
0
the image i have of heskey is beautiful. i bet he is like that at christmas as welll!
benji_starsky_avfc
22/12/2009 19:42:00
0
brilliant.
claretandbluearmy
22/12/2009 21:16:00
0
brilliant.
claretandbluearmy
22/12/2009 21:16:00
Page 1/2
  1. 1
  2. 2

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Another Villa Defender Bombed Out - Collective Whoop!

GONE, GONE... Joleon Lescott has GONE

Villa Fan In Optimism Shocker

Reasons to hold on to optimism whilst looking at the reality of the situation.

2016/17 Transfer Deadline - A Few Days Remain

Well it's almost that time of the year again, only a final few days to go before the closure of the summer transfer window for 2016/17, and with the international break...

Audio - RDM On Bristol City

Manager Roberto Di Matteo has spoken of his disappointment at seeing Aston Villa lose the game against Bristol City yesterday.

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Bristol City MotM
Suggested By: Site Staff
Gollini4%
de Laet2%
Elphick2%
Chester4%
Cissokho0%
Bacuna4%
Jedinak2%
Westwood2%
Grealish66%
McCormack8%
Ayew2%
Sub - Amavi0%
Sub - Kozak4%
Sub - Green0%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Huddersfield 5 4 1 0 13 4
2 Fulham 5 3 2 0 11 3
3 Barnsley 5 3 0 2 9 4
4 Newcastle 5 3 0 2 9 4
5 Q.P.R. 5 3 0 2 9 3
6 Bristol City 5 3 0 2 9 2
7 Forest 5 3 0 2 9 0
8 Brighton 5 2 2 1 8 4
9 Wolves 5 2 2 1 8 3
10 Birmingham 5 2 2 1 8 2
11 Ipswich 5 2 2 1 8 1
12 Norwich 5 2 2 1 8 1
13 Burton 5 2 1 2 7 1
14 Brentford 5 2 1 2 7 1
15 Reading 5 2 1 2 7 -3
16 Aston Villa 5 1 2 2 5 0
17 Cardiff 5 1 2 2 5 -2
18 Derby County 5 1 2 2 5 -2
19 Sheff Wed 5 1 2 2 5 -3
20 Wigan 5 1 1 3 4 0
21 Leeds Utd 5 1 1 3 4 -4
22 Rotherham 5 1 1 3 4 -9
23 Preston 5 1 0 4 3 -2
24 Blackburn 5 0 1 4 1 -8
Vital Football Comment
Latest F1 News
Rosberg wins but must leave disappointed
Latest Vital Boxing News
Chisora Offers to Fight Whyte
Write for Vital Football

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.The Fear726
2.glensider685
3.Fulford521
4.Silhillvilla250
5.sirdennis225
6.kefkat203
7.Stephen Jay Hawkings183
8.villasince67182
9.Melon Donkey172
10.DeanoVilla165
The Vital Football Members League