Hercs In The Dressing Room Post Man Utd

*The lads are jubilant after their victory over Man Utd*

MON: Alright lads, settle down, settle down. Great performance out there. Finally we've beaten Man Utd, and since they're the champions do you know what that means?

A.Young: More than 8 seconds analysis after the match on Match of the Day boss?

MON: Well perhaps Ashley, but probably not, it means WE are the Premier League champions!

A.Young: Boss I'm not sure that's how it works, to be champions you have to win the whole.....

MON: Oh yes, champions! They say to be the best you have to beat the best and they also say you're only as good as your last match. Hit the music Robbo.

*John Robertson presses play on the CD player he is holding, MON pulls a microphone from nowhere*

MON: WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS MY FRIEEEEEEENDS, AND WE'LL ......

*MON points the microphone to Fabian Delph*

Delph: .......

MON: Come on Fabian, when I point the microphone at you you sing the line.

Delph: I don't know the words.

MON: WHAT!? it's Queen, it's a classic!

Delph: I didn't even know the Queen sang songs I thought she just, you know waved and stuff. Did you know Nathan?

*Delfouneso shrugs his shoulders*

MON: It's QUEEN not THE Queen.

Agbonlahor: Hang on ...... How many Queens are there?

MON: Just one, well there are two but one's a band and the other is the monarch.

*Delfouneso, Agbonlahor and Delph look at each other confused*

MON: Look forget that anyway we are the new champions and as such....

*Sir Alex Ferguson strides into the dressing room he's wearing a full suit of armour, sneering at all the Villa players*

SAF: Sorry ta interrupt Martin, well I would be sorry if I wasn't so rude and you weren't a bunch of cheaters!

MON: Hey! We're not....

SAF: You shut your mouth Martin, I'm a knight and I don't know how ya cheated but it smells of magic ta me!

MON: Sir Alex, magic doesn't exist and....

SAF: It's SIR Alex!

MON: I said Sir Alex.

SAF: And don't you ferget it ya cheating sorcerer! Anyway I'm here to throw a bottle of wine at you and call you a cheater as is the tradition with away winners at Old Trafford

MON: Sir Alex, I'm not a sorcerer.

SAF: That's exactly the type of trickery I'd expect from a sorcerer

*The CD player plays the next track 'It's a kind of magic'*

SAF: And what manner of sorcery is this!? A box which plays music and speaks of magic! The F.A will hear of this make no mistake!

*Sir Alex Ferguson throws a bottle of red wine that smashes on the wall and leaves, the lads look around in silence then begin to celebrate once more.*

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