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Hercs In The Dressing Room Post Man Utd

*The lads are jubilant after their victory over Man Utd*

MON: Alright lads, settle down, settle down. Great performance out there. Finally we've beaten Man Utd, and since they're the champions do you know what that means?

A.Young: More than 8 seconds analysis after the match on Match of the Day boss?

MON: Well perhaps Ashley, but probably not, it means WE are the Premier League champions!

A.Young: Boss I'm not sure that's how it works, to be champions you have to win the whole.....

MON: Oh yes, champions! They say to be the best you have to beat the best and they also say you're only as good as your last match. Hit the music Robbo.

*John Robertson presses play on the CD player he is holding, MON pulls a microphone from nowhere*

MON: WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS MY FRIEEEEEEENDS, AND WE'LL ......

*MON points the microphone to Fabian Delph*

Delph: .......

MON: Come on Fabian, when I point the microphone at you you sing the line.

Delph: I don't know the words.

MON: WHAT!? it's Queen, it's a classic!

Delph: I didn't even know the Queen sang songs I thought she just, you know waved and stuff. Did you know Nathan?

*Delfouneso shrugs his shoulders*

MON: It's QUEEN not THE Queen.

Agbonlahor: Hang on ...... How many Queens are there?

MON: Just one, well there are two but one's a band and the other is the monarch.

*Delfouneso, Agbonlahor and Delph look at each other confused*

MON: Look forget that anyway we are the new champions and as such....

*Sir Alex Ferguson strides into the dressing room he's wearing a full suit of armour, sneering at all the Villa players*

SAF: Sorry ta interrupt Martin, well I would be sorry if I wasn't so rude and you weren't a bunch of cheaters!

MON: Hey! We're not....

SAF: You shut your mouth Martin, I'm a knight and I don't know how ya cheated but it smells of magic ta me!

MON: Sir Alex, magic doesn't exist and....

SAF: It's SIR Alex!

MON: I said Sir Alex.

SAF: And don't you ferget it ya cheating sorcerer! Anyway I'm here to throw a bottle of wine at you and call you a cheater as is the tradition with away winners at Old Trafford

MON: Sir Alex, I'm not a sorcerer.

SAF: That's exactly the type of trickery I'd expect from a sorcerer

*The CD player plays the next track 'It's a kind of magic'*

SAF: And what manner of sorcery is this!? A box which plays music and speaks of magic! The F.A will hear of this make no mistake!

*Sir Alex Ferguson throws a bottle of red wine that smashes on the wall and leaves, the lads look around in silence then begin to celebrate once more.*


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The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Monday December 14 2009

Time: 10:29AM

Your Comments

brilliant, bizarre, bizarrely brilliant. Loving it!
The Fear
brilliant, bizarre, bizarrely brilliant. Loving it!
The Fear
genious. i am getting used to this, a bit like reading the funnies in the back of the sun when i was a kid.
Stig
genious. i am getting used to this, a bit like reading the funnies in the back of the sun when i was a kid.
Stig
MON: Sir Alex, magic doesn't exist and.... SAF: It's SIR Alex! MON: I said Sir Alex. made me laugh heavily
overlooked_villan
MON: Sir Alex, magic doesn't exist and.... SAF: It's SIR Alex! MON: I said Sir Alex. made me laugh heavily
overlooked_villan
these are great, loved the bit of SAF in full armour
Jongekki
these are great, loved the bit of SAF in full armour
Jongekki
Just stunning, someone give the man a Pulizer :-)
davidsands1982
Just stunning, someone give the man a Pulizer :-)
davidsands1982
I bet he'd rather have a Budweiser ... :o)
BobTheBuilder
I bet he'd rather have a Budweiser ... :o)
BobTheBuilder
You missed a treat with the 'how many Queens are there?' line. But then again, only idiots find homophobic jokes amusing. Too bad I am said idiot.
JayVFC
You missed a treat with the 'how many Queens are there?' line. But then again, only idiots find homophobic jokes amusing. Too bad I am said idiot.
JayVFC
 

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