Hercs In The Dressing Room (Before Xmas Party!)
*MON has gathered the lads together before their Christmas Party*
MON: Now I know Big John will lead you a merry dance tonight.
*John Carew mimics playing a flute and gyrates, the lads laugh*
MON: But you lads look after yourselves, you're all my babies.
*MON dabs a handkerchief on his tongue and scrubs Delph's cheek*
Delph: Get off boss, you're embarrassing me in front of the guys.
*Gabby's gaze follows a fly around the room.*
Gabby: yes Boss?
MON: You especially, if you can't be good, be careful.
MON: You know what I mean by 'being careful' don't you?
Gabby: Say my name's Cameron Jerome boss?
MON: No, but that'll do. Anyway have fun lads.
*The lads whoop and shout as they follow John Carew out*
Sidwell(rubbing his hands): Ho ho! What you got planned for us big man!?
Heskey: A night of drunken debauchery and revellry no doubt!?
Carew: It's a surprise guys, I wanted to show you how I get down!
NRC: Oh yeah! I've brought my party wig, I'm ready to have it large!
*NRC reveals an oversized afro wig, he puts it on*
Cuellar: and I've bought me beard snood, last time I went out with Big John I woke up with half of it shaved off and a kidney missing.
*The lads pile on to the coach, Carew takes the wheel and they drive to an unknown location*
NRC: What's this looks like a community centre or something?
Sidwell: Probably some exclusive, secret strip club Nige.
Carew: OK, here we are.
*Carew leads the lads into the buliding*
Carew: Now this is a pretty new club ....
Sidwell (excitedly): See nige what did I tell you.
Carew: I've been coming since the start so be polite to the patrons.
NRC: Oh I'll be polite, I've got nothing but £50 notes.
*Carew leads the lads into a large room, there are a number of elderly ladies sat in a circle*
Carew: Hello Ethel.
Ethel: Oh Hello deary.
*The lads look at each other and raise their eyes to a banner*
Sidwell: Crochet club!?
Carew: Yeah, it's an excellent way to unwind, look Ashley I made you some gloves.
*Carew hands an annoyed Young the gloves*
Young: These gloves only have have three fingers.
Carew: Well I'm new to it, here have a bobbly hat.
*Carew places the massive hat on Young's head, Young lifts the hat so his eyes can be seen*
Young: I'm going home!
*Young turns and leaves, others follow*
Carew: Wait, don't be like that. Come back ...... I have scarves!
Sidwell: I'll have a scarf, it gets cold on the bench.