Hercs - In The Dressing Room (Pre-Hull)

*We join the lads gearing up for their clash against Hull*

MON: Hi lads, now I've got a treat in store for you .... Ex-England and Villa manager Graham Taylor and ex-Villa legend Ian Taylor, the Taylor brothers everyone!

*The lads applaud as Ian and Graham Taylor enter the dressing room, they greet the players gratefully*

I.Taylor: We're not brothers Martin.

MON: Had a fight have you? Family eh, who'd have 'em?

I.Taylor: No, I mean we're no relation we just share a name and ....

MON: Whilst you're here actually the zip's gone funny on my favourite tracksuit jacket, I was wondering if one of you guys could...

I.Taylor: We're not tailors either.

G.Taylor: Speak for yourself Ian, I cut a wonderful suit.

*Graham fiddles with MON's tracksuit jacket, Ian frowns*

G.Taylor: There you go.

*MON runs the zip up and down*

MON: Amazing, it's perfect. Sorry, I'm taking up your time please 'entertain the troops'.

*Graham turns to the team*

G.Taylor: Do I not lot like orange!

*The lads all laugh*

Heskey (wipes a tear): Gets me everytime.

*Graham produces a pointer hitting a picture of Phil Brown on the wall*

G.Taylor: ...and this man is too orangey for crows!

*Ashley Young laughing raises his hand*

G.Taylor: Yes, you there?

Young: Like Kiora Mr.Taylor?

G.Taylor: Like what? What're you talking about lad? Anyway, also look out for this bloke 'ere.

*Graham hits a picture of Jimmy Bullard*

G.Taylor: What he lacks in teeth he makes up for with footballing ability.

*Ian Taylor's phone rings, he reaches into his suit-jacket pocket*

I.Taylor: It's mum, she wants to know what we want for tea.

G.Taylor: Have we got fish fingers?

*Ian turns to talk on the phone, he turns back*

I.Taylor: Yes.

G.Taylor: Not the orange ones though the batter ones ..... And no carrots.

*Sidwell raises his hand to ask a question*

G.Taylor: Put your hand down son, I don't talk to your sort.

MON (sheepishly): O.....K! Ian and Graham everyone!

*MON sheperds them out of the dressing room, no-one but Heskey applauds*

Heskey: Wooooooo, legend! Wooooooo!!!

*The rest of the lads stare at Heskey, he sits*

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