Writer: J P Fear
Date:Thursday November 19 2009
*We join the lads at Turf Moor as they chatter in anticipation for their match against Burnley* By Hercs
MON: Alright lads, now Burnley may look like a team of half-soaked pirates but they can play some football.
*Ashley Young raises his hand*
Young: You're standing on my foot boss.
MON: Well I'd apologise Ashley but I have little choice, after all this 'changing room' is a portaloo, besides you don't hear Craig complaining and I'm stood on his face.
Gardner(muffled): Just glad to be helping the team boss.
*NRC and Carew are shivering outside*
NRC: We can't hear you boss!
*MON unlocks and sticks his head outside the door*
MON: Well I'm sorry, but what do you want me to do sit on the toilet and have you in one at a time on my knee like a santa's grotto!?
Carew: Well that was my idea and I think...
*MON slams and locks the door*
NRC: Stupid boss and his favourites.
*The door unlocks and opens, MON sticks his head out*
MON: What was that!?
NRC: Nothing boss.
MON: I thought not!
*MON slams and locks the door again*
MON: Now we won 5-1 against Bolton and with Stilyan and Emile back we should be a ten times more potent threat with pace and goals.
*The portaloo erupts with laughter, NRC and Carew frown at the laughter outside*
MON: But enough jokes, like I said Burnley are every bit as dangerous as their weather-beaten, disheveled looking faces would suggest.
Heskey: So boss, how be it that we vanquish these vagrants forsooth?
MON: In my tactical genius I have come up with a secret weapon. Moustapha!
Salifou: Finally. I always knew that Togo's finest would get his shot at the ....
MON: What're you talking about? Fetch me my bag.
*a deflated Salifou passes MON an Asda bag, MON withdraws it's contents*
MON: Yes, genius is it not? You'll each have a bar and chase your man with it, they'll not have a clue what to do when presented with a cleaning agent.
Cuellar: Och! and it will nay dry their skin like soap can.
MON: Ha! Very good Carlos, now could you perhaps move your face? You're giving me a rash.
*there is a banging on the door*
NRC: Boss, boss let us in there are a crew of what look like pirates approaching!
Date:Thursday November 19 2009
Audio - The FA Cupping Fox Has Spoken (Friday May 29 2015)
Aston Villa - FSF's May Newsletter (Friday May 29 2015)
Swindon Friendly Set (Friday May 29 2015)
Video - FA Cup Memories From The Past (Friday May 29 2015)
Something For The Weekend (495) (Friday May 29 2015)
£32.5million Reasons To Laugh At The Press (again) (Friday May 29 2015)
Audio - Laursen On Benteke (Friday May 29 2015)
Delph Is The Vital Villa Player Of The Year (Friday May 29 2015)
Mystic Mug v Lawro - Aston Villa v Arsenal - FA Cu (Friday May 29 2015)
Arsenal v Aston Villa FA Cup Final Infographic (Friday May 29 2015)
|1.||Pride of Lions||1234|
|10.||LORD RON SAUNDERS||197|
|Aston Villa||1||-||0||West Ham|
|Man City||3||-||2||Aston Villa|
|14. Leicester City||38||11||8||19||-9||41|
|17. Aston Villa||38||10||8||20||-26||38|
|18. Hull City||38||8||11||19||-18||35|
|Consequences of schism
» Chelsea : 29/05/2015 20:44:01
|Diego Costa in Another Injury Scare!
» Chelsea : 29/05/2015 18:57:01
|Atsu Joins Bournemouth
» Chelsea : 29/05/2015 18:49:01
|Hendon Pens Two-Year Orient Deal
» West Ham : 29/05/2015 18:40:01
|United Swooping for French Teenager
» Man Utd : 29/05/2015 18:32:00