Writer: J P Fear
Date:Thursday November 19 2009
*We join the lads at Turf Moor as they chatter in anticipation for their match against Burnley* By Hercs
MON: Alright lads, now Burnley may look like a team of half-soaked pirates but they can play some football.
*Ashley Young raises his hand*
Young: You're standing on my foot boss.
MON: Well I'd apologise Ashley but I have little choice, after all this 'changing room' is a portaloo, besides you don't hear Craig complaining and I'm stood on his face.
Gardner(muffled): Just glad to be helping the team boss.
*NRC and Carew are shivering outside*
NRC: We can't hear you boss!
*MON unlocks and sticks his head outside the door*
MON: Well I'm sorry, but what do you want me to do sit on the toilet and have you in one at a time on my knee like a santa's grotto!?
Carew: Well that was my idea and I think...
*MON slams and locks the door*
NRC: Stupid boss and his favourites.
*The door unlocks and opens, MON sticks his head out*
MON: What was that!?
NRC: Nothing boss.
MON: I thought not!
*MON slams and locks the door again*
MON: Now we won 5-1 against Bolton and with Stilyan and Emile back we should be a ten times more potent threat with pace and goals.
*The portaloo erupts with laughter, NRC and Carew frown at the laughter outside*
MON: But enough jokes, like I said Burnley are every bit as dangerous as their weather-beaten, disheveled looking faces would suggest.
Heskey: So boss, how be it that we vanquish these vagrants forsooth?
MON: In my tactical genius I have come up with a secret weapon. Moustapha!
Salifou: Finally. I always knew that Togo's finest would get his shot at the ....
MON: What're you talking about? Fetch me my bag.
*a deflated Salifou passes MON an Asda bag, MON withdraws it's contents*
MON: Yes, genius is it not? You'll each have a bar and chase your man with it, they'll not have a clue what to do when presented with a cleaning agent.
Cuellar: Och! and it will nay dry their skin like soap can.
MON: Ha! Very good Carlos, now could you perhaps move your face? You're giving me a rash.
*there is a banging on the door*
NRC: Boss, boss let us in there are a crew of what look like pirates approaching!
Date:Thursday November 19 2009
Lambert - Ron Remains A Doubt (Thursday September 18 2014)
Guzan - Villa Park Will Be Rocking (Thursday September 18 2014)
Lambert Speaks Following Contract Extension (Wednesday September 17 2014)
Paul Lambert Extends Villa Stay (Wednesday September 17 2014)
Robinson Loaned To Preston (Tuesday September 16 2014)
Hutton - I Want To Take This Opportunity (Tuesday September 16 2014)
Bombshell - Hutton Signs Three Year Deal (Tuesday September 16 2014)
Senderos In Team Of The Week Nod (Monday September 15 2014)
Senderos & Gabby Respond To Liverpool Win (Monday September 15 2014)
Benteke Returns To Full Training (Sunday September 14 2014)
|2.||Pride of Lions||484|
|4.||Villan Of The North||215|
|Aston Villa||2||-||1||Hull City|
|2. Aston Villa||4||3||1||0||+3||10|
|5. Man City||4||2||1||1||+3||7|
|Everton put 4 past Wolfsburg
» Everton : 18/09/2014 23:08:00
» Everton : 18/09/2014 23:00:00
|Berahino Looking For Striking Success
» WBA : 18/09/2014 22:04:00
|Gardner - We Won't Hide Against Spurs
» WBA : 18/09/2014 21:44:00
|Brunt Criticism Is Undeserved
» WBA : 18/09/2014 21:38:00