Writer: Hercs & Benham
Date:Saturday November 7 2009
*We join the Villa boys preparing for Bolton*
MON: Now where's Isaiah with my Earl Grey?
Salifou (through tears): You sent him to Middlesbrough on loan boss.
MON: Ah yes, here's hoping he gets enough experience on their bench to improve his posture, it was getting terrible. OK lads, tough time out last match, we have to be wary Bolton have been playing some clever, entertaining football as of late.
*The Dressing Room erupts with laughter*
MON: Joking aside, Bolton are a physical team. So I've gathered some pictures to incite a rage to match theirs.
*MON walks towards a notice board with three covered pictures, he uncovers the first, it's a picture of Peter Kay, many of the lads laugh*
MON: Don't laugh! I want rage!
Young: We can't help it boss, everyone loves Peter Kay, he's a national icon.
*Sidwell is seething*
Sidwell: I don't love him boss, I hate him ... Grr!
MON: That's more like it Steven, everyone take Steven's example.
Young: But he's always angry at everyone.
*Sidwell turns to Young and sneers whilst growling*
MON: That's what we need, fire, passion ... And next ....
*MON uncovers the next picture, it's a Yorkshire Pudding. The lads look confused, some look hungry, Delph raises his hand*
Delph: Boss, I'm pretty sure that Bolton's in Lancashire.
MON: Same thing Fabian, same thing.
Young: Again boss, everyone loves a yorkie pud, I could eat one now. with grav....
Sidwell: I hate Yorkshire pudding, if there was one here I'd kick it.
Young: Not even with a Sunday Dinn....?
Sidwell: I'd kick it! I'd break it's legs.
Young: Steve, Yorkshire puddings don't have legs.
Sidwell: Not after I'd finished with them they wouldn't!
MON: Right then, you're not all as enraged as I thought you'd be so here is the final picture.
*MON reveals the picture, it's Vernon Kay with a large grin and shiny suit. The lads go ballistic snarling and yelling, NRC leaps from his chair, tears the picture down with his teeth and shakes it like a rabid dog*
MON: Now that's more like it.
*The lads are fighting over who gets to stamp on the picture, Sidwell appears to be in complete bliss at this scene*
MON: Now we're ready for Bolton, now who wants a red card ... I mean to play right back?
*All the lads raise their hands including Friedel and Guzan*
MON: Yes, now we're ready.
MON: right then, *lowers glasses* Cueller back at the back *ticks box* hmmm....Warnock's a bit sore, mite rest him......who to plaaaaaaaaayyy *scratches chin*
mon: ahhh Nicky
ns: yes boss?!?!?
mon: 2 sugars please *winks*
mon: what times the dancing on tomorrow night?
wb: erm, don't know.....
mon: o thanks *mutters* cant get the staff these days
mon: nothing......right, who we got then............*spins chair and stares at Luke Young*
*squad all look at young*
mon: Lukey ma'boy.........
young: ah for f*** sake!!!!!!!!!!!!
Date:Saturday November 7 2009
Villa Injury Update Ahead Of Spurs Clash (Friday October 31 2014)
Lambert Wants Villa To Put On A Show?! (Friday October 31 2014)
Lambert Out? Or Go Again? (Wednesday October 29 2014)
U21s Gain Wolves Victory (Wednesday October 29 2014)
Lambert Out Petition (Tuesday October 28 2014)
Four Seniors Turn Out For Sid (Tuesday October 28 2014)
The Wagons Start To Circle Villa (Tuesday October 28 2014)
Lambert Post QPR Reaction - Shocking! (Tuesday October 28 2014)
Lambert Just Keeps On Breaking Those Records (Monday October 27 2014)
Stats: QPR v Aston Villa (Monday October 27 2014)
|2.||Pride of Lions||862|
|10.||Villan Of The North||194|
|Aston Villa||0||-||2||Man City|
|15. Aston Villa||9||3||1||5||-10||10|
|16. Crystal Palace||9||2||3||4||-3||9|
|17. Leicester City||9||2||3||4||-4||9|
|Villa Injury Update Ahead Of Spurs Clash
» Aston Villa : 31/10/2014 11:10:00
|Distin set to fight for Everton career
» Everton : 31/10/2014 11:00:00
|Lambert Wants Villa To Put On A Show?!
» Aston Villa : 31/10/2014 10:59:00
|Everton post record profits
» Everton : 31/10/2014 10:40:00
|So How Did You Vote?
» Chelsea : 31/10/2014 09:42:00