Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

In The Dressing Room (Before The Bolton Game)

In The Dressing Room (Before The Bolton Game)

*We join the Villa boys preparing for Bolton*

MON: Now where's Isaiah with my Earl Grey?

Salifou (through tears): You sent him to Middlesbrough on loan boss.

MON: Ah yes, here's hoping he gets enough experience on their bench to improve his posture, it was getting terrible. OK lads, tough time out last match, we have to be wary Bolton have been playing some clever, entertaining football as of late.

*The Dressing Room erupts with laughter*

MON: Joking aside, Bolton are a physical team. So I've gathered some pictures to incite a rage to match theirs.

*MON walks towards a notice board with three covered pictures, he uncovers the first, it's a picture of Peter Kay, many of the lads laugh*

MON: Don't laugh! I want rage!

Young: We can't help it boss, everyone loves Peter Kay, he's a national icon.

*Sidwell is seething*

Sidwell: I don't love him boss, I hate him ... Grr!

MON: That's more like it Steven, everyone take Steven's example.

Young: But he's always angry at everyone.

*Sidwell turns to Young and sneers whilst growling*

MON: That's what we need, fire, passion ... And next ....

*MON uncovers the next picture, it's a Yorkshire Pudding. The lads look confused, some look hungry, Delph raises his hand*

MON: Fabian?

Delph: Boss, I'm pretty sure that Bolton's in Lancashire.

MON: Same thing Fabian, same thing.

Young: Again boss, everyone loves a yorkie pud, I could eat one now. with grav....

Sidwell: I hate Yorkshire pudding, if there was one here I'd kick it.

Young: Not even with a Sunday Dinn....?

Sidwell: I'd kick it! I'd break it's legs.

Young: Steve, Yorkshire puddings don't have legs.

Sidwell: Not after I'd finished with them they wouldn't!

MON: Right then, you're not all as enraged as I thought you'd be so here is the final picture.

*MON reveals the picture, it's Vernon Kay with a large grin and shiny suit. The lads go ballistic snarling and yelling, NRC leaps from his chair, tears the picture down with his teeth and shakes it like a rabid dog*

MON: Now that's more like it.

*The lads are fighting over who gets to stamp on the picture, Sidwell appears to be in complete bliss at this scene*

MON: Now we're ready for Bolton, now who wants a red card ... I mean to play right back?

*All the lads raise their hands including Friedel and Guzan*

MON: Yes, now we're ready.

Hercs

------------

MON: right then, *lowers glasses* Cueller back at the back *ticks box* hmmm....Warnock's a bit sore, mite rest him......who to plaaaaaaaaayyy *scratches chin*

Shorey coughs

mon: ahhh Nicky

ns: yes boss?!?!?

mon: 2 sugars please *winks*

ns: o.....ok

mon: bouuuuuuumaaaaaaaaaa!

wb: yes!!!!!?????

mon: what times the dancing on tomorrow night?

wb: erm, don't know.....

mon: o thanks *mutters* cant get the staff these days

wb: huh?

mon: nothing......right, who we got then............*spins chair and stares at Luke Young*

*squad all look at young*

mon: Lukey ma'boy.........

young: ah for f*** sake!!!!!!!!!!!!

Benham




Bookmark and Share

Win FREE pizza with Vital Football!
Select your team and get 50% off if they score twice.
www.papajohns.co.uk/football



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs & Benham
Date:Saturday November 7 2009
Time: 10:57AM

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Laursen Reflects On His Time At Villa

Martin Laursen has reflected on the time he spent at Villa Park, and been speaking of his memories of late.

SO! What Does Aston Villa Need From The Takeover??

So... what does Aston Villa need with regards to the takeover?

Some Very Positive Talk From Tony Xia On Takeover

Some nice positive quotes and talk from Tony Xia on the takeover of Aston Villa...

HK - Abdo & McKirdy Talk Soccer 7's Trophy

Khalid Abdo and Harry McKirdy have both been giving their thoughts on Aston Villa's Hong Kong Soccer Sevens success last weekend.

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Roberto Di Matteo would be:
Suggested By: JP Fear
A great appointment26%
A good appointment but I'd prefer a.n.other54%
An average appointment11%
No thanks appointment!9%
ScoopDragon Premier League Network Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
C Leicester City 38 23 12 3 81 32
2 Arsenal 38 20 11 7 71 29
3 Spurs 38 19 13 6 70 34
4 Man City 38 19 9 10 66 30
5 Man Utd 38 19 9 10 66 14
6 Southampton 38 18 9 11 63 18
7 West Ham 38 16 14 8 62 14
8 Liverpool 38 16 12 10 60 13
9 Stoke 38 14 9 15 51 -14
10 Chelsea 38 12 14 12 50 6
11 Everton 38 11 14 13 47 4
12 Swansea 38 12 11 15 47 -10
13 Watford 38 12 9 17 45 -10
14 WBA 38 10 13 15 43 -14
15 Crystal Palace 38 11 9 18 42 -12
16 AFC Bournemouth 38 11 9 18 42 -22
17 Sunderland 38 9 12 17 39 -14
R Newcastle 38 9 10 19 37 -21
R Norwich 38 9 7 22 34 -28
R Aston Villa 38 3 8 27 17 -49
Write for Vital Football
Latest F1 News
Pirelli announce tyre selections for Monaco
Latest Vital Boxing News
Whyte Joins in Haye Bashing!
The Vital Football Members League

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.Pride of Lions795
2.The Fear456
3.kefkat325
4.sirdennis286
5.Lerner Out!249
6.Fulford226
7.JuanPabloAngel211
8.glensider205
9.DeanoVilla169
10.Silhillvilla150
Vital Football Comment