Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

In The Dressing Room (Before The Bolton Game)

In The Dressing Room (Before The Bolton Game)

*We join the Villa boys preparing for Bolton*

MON: Now where's Isaiah with my Earl Grey?

Salifou (through tears): You sent him to Middlesbrough on loan boss.

MON: Ah yes, here's hoping he gets enough experience on their bench to improve his posture, it was getting terrible. OK lads, tough time out last match, we have to be wary Bolton have been playing some clever, entertaining football as of late.

*The Dressing Room erupts with laughter*

MON: Joking aside, Bolton are a physical team. So I've gathered some pictures to incite a rage to match theirs.

*MON walks towards a notice board with three covered pictures, he uncovers the first, it's a picture of Peter Kay, many of the lads laugh*

MON: Don't laugh! I want rage!

Young: We can't help it boss, everyone loves Peter Kay, he's a national icon.

*Sidwell is seething*

Sidwell: I don't love him boss, I hate him ... Grr!

MON: That's more like it Steven, everyone take Steven's example.

Young: But he's always angry at everyone.

*Sidwell turns to Young and sneers whilst growling*

MON: That's what we need, fire, passion ... And next ....

*MON uncovers the next picture, it's a Yorkshire Pudding. The lads look confused, some look hungry, Delph raises his hand*

MON: Fabian?

Delph: Boss, I'm pretty sure that Bolton's in Lancashire.

MON: Same thing Fabian, same thing.

Young: Again boss, everyone loves a yorkie pud, I could eat one now. with grav....

Sidwell: I hate Yorkshire pudding, if there was one here I'd kick it.

Young: Not even with a Sunday Dinn....?

Sidwell: I'd kick it! I'd break it's legs.

Young: Steve, Yorkshire puddings don't have legs.

Sidwell: Not after I'd finished with them they wouldn't!

MON: Right then, you're not all as enraged as I thought you'd be so here is the final picture.

*MON reveals the picture, it's Vernon Kay with a large grin and shiny suit. The lads go ballistic snarling and yelling, NRC leaps from his chair, tears the picture down with his teeth and shakes it like a rabid dog*

MON: Now that's more like it.

*The lads are fighting over who gets to stamp on the picture, Sidwell appears to be in complete bliss at this scene*

MON: Now we're ready for Bolton, now who wants a red card ... I mean to play right back?

*All the lads raise their hands including Friedel and Guzan*

MON: Yes, now we're ready.

Hercs

------------

MON: right then, *lowers glasses* Cueller back at the back *ticks box* hmmm....Warnock's a bit sore, mite rest him......who to plaaaaaaaaayyy *scratches chin*

Shorey coughs

mon: ahhh Nicky

ns: yes boss?!?!?

mon: 2 sugars please *winks*

ns: o.....ok

mon: bouuuuuuumaaaaaaaaaa!

wb: yes!!!!!?????

mon: what times the dancing on tomorrow night?

wb: erm, don't know.....

mon: o thanks *mutters* cant get the staff these days

wb: huh?

mon: nothing......right, who we got then............*spins chair and stares at Luke Young*

*squad all look at young*

mon: Lukey ma'boy.........

young: ah for f*** sake!!!!!!!!!!!!

Benham




Bookmark and Share



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs & Benham
Date:Saturday November 7 2009
Time: 10:57AM

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Four Generations Of Villa Fans Attending From France

DJFRRANCE attending the Villa v Blues with four generations including passing on this wonderful heritage to his grandson.

U23s - Blackburn 0 Aston Villa 0

Premier League 2 disappointment for Aston Villa following scoreless draw with Blackburn Rovers in our final fixture of the campaign.

A Barnsley Return & Chelsea Youngster Incoming?

It's been reported today that Steve Bruce will return to Oakwell for another deal over the summer and also that we have our eyes on prolific Chelsea youngster Tammy Abraham.

The Villa Times - 24/04/2017 (Aston Villa News Round-up)

The latest Aston Villa news and views following the ding dong derby via the uno fish ial one...

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Birmingham MotM
Suggested By:
Johnstone5%
Hutton29%
Chester3%
Baker18%
Taylor4%
Lansbury0%
Jedinak5%
Bacuna0%
Adomah0%
Grealish0%
Hogan0%
Sub-Agbonlahor34%
Sub-Gardner1%
Sub-Hourihane1%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
P Brighton 44 28 8 8 92 35
P Newcastle 44 27 7 10 88 40
3 Reading 44 24 7 13 79 1
4 Sheff Wed 44 23 9 12 78 15
5 Huddersfield 43 24 6 13 78 2
6 Fulham 44 21 13 10 76 27
7 Leeds Utd 44 22 7 15 73 14
8 Norwich 44 19 9 16 66 12
9 Brentford 44 18 9 17 63 12
10 Derby County 44 17 12 15 63 2
11 Preston 44 16 13 15 61 2
12 Aston Villa 44 16 13 15 61 0
13 Cardiff 44 16 11 17 59 -2
14 Barnsley 44 15 12 17 57 0
15 Wolves 43 15 10 18 55 -2
16 Ipswich 44 13 16 15 55 -6
17 Bristol City 44 14 9 21 51 -6
18 Burton 44 13 12 19 51 -12
19 Q.P.R. 44 14 8 22 50 -12
20 Forest 44 13 9 22 48 -11
21 Birmingham 44 11 14 19 47 -22
22 Blackburn 44 10 15 19 45 -15
23 Wigan 44 10 11 23 41 -16
R Rotherham 44 5 6 33 21 -58
The Vital Football Members League
Latest F1 News
F1 prediction competition open for Russia
Latest Vital Boxing News
Has Father Time Caught Up with Klitschko?
Vital Football Comment

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Apr 29 2017 3:00PM : Blackburn Rovers (a)
Sky Bet Championship
May 7 2017 12:00PM : Brighton & Hove Albion (H)
Sky Bet Championship

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.Pride of Lions337
2.JuanPabloAngel335
3.sirdennis248
4.The Fear221
5.Silhillvilla195
6.Melon Donkey163
7.HeathfieldRoad1874156
8.kefkat141
9.Sasquatch135
10.BBJ100
Write for Vital Football