Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

In The Dressing Room (Before The Bolton Game)

In The Dressing Room (Before The Bolton Game)

*We join the Villa boys preparing for Bolton*

MON: Now where's Isaiah with my Earl Grey?

Salifou (through tears): You sent him to Middlesbrough on loan boss.

MON: Ah yes, here's hoping he gets enough experience on their bench to improve his posture, it was getting terrible. OK lads, tough time out last match, we have to be wary Bolton have been playing some clever, entertaining football as of late.

*The Dressing Room erupts with laughter*

MON: Joking aside, Bolton are a physical team. So I've gathered some pictures to incite a rage to match theirs.

*MON walks towards a notice board with three covered pictures, he uncovers the first, it's a picture of Peter Kay, many of the lads laugh*

MON: Don't laugh! I want rage!

Young: We can't help it boss, everyone loves Peter Kay, he's a national icon.

*Sidwell is seething*

Sidwell: I don't love him boss, I hate him ... Grr!

MON: That's more like it Steven, everyone take Steven's example.

Young: But he's always angry at everyone.

*Sidwell turns to Young and sneers whilst growling*

MON: That's what we need, fire, passion ... And next ....

*MON uncovers the next picture, it's a Yorkshire Pudding. The lads look confused, some look hungry, Delph raises his hand*

MON: Fabian?

Delph: Boss, I'm pretty sure that Bolton's in Lancashire.

MON: Same thing Fabian, same thing.

Young: Again boss, everyone loves a yorkie pud, I could eat one now. with grav....

Sidwell: I hate Yorkshire pudding, if there was one here I'd kick it.

Young: Not even with a Sunday Dinn....?

Sidwell: I'd kick it! I'd break it's legs.

Young: Steve, Yorkshire puddings don't have legs.

Sidwell: Not after I'd finished with them they wouldn't!

MON: Right then, you're not all as enraged as I thought you'd be so here is the final picture.

*MON reveals the picture, it's Vernon Kay with a large grin and shiny suit. The lads go ballistic snarling and yelling, NRC leaps from his chair, tears the picture down with his teeth and shakes it like a rabid dog*

MON: Now that's more like it.

*The lads are fighting over who gets to stamp on the picture, Sidwell appears to be in complete bliss at this scene*

MON: Now we're ready for Bolton, now who wants a red card ... I mean to play right back?

*All the lads raise their hands including Friedel and Guzan*

MON: Yes, now we're ready.

Hercs

------------

MON: right then, *lowers glasses* Cueller back at the back *ticks box* hmmm....Warnock's a bit sore, mite rest him......who to plaaaaaaaaayyy *scratches chin*

Shorey coughs

mon: ahhh Nicky

ns: yes boss?!?!?

mon: 2 sugars please *winks*

ns: o.....ok

mon: bouuuuuuumaaaaaaaaaa!

wb: yes!!!!!?????

mon: what times the dancing on tomorrow night?

wb: erm, don't know.....

mon: o thanks *mutters* cant get the staff these days

wb: huh?

mon: nothing......right, who we got then............*spins chair and stares at Luke Young*

*squad all look at young*

mon: Lukey ma'boy.........

young: ah for f*** sake!!!!!!!!!!!!

Benham




Bookmark and Share



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs & Benham
Date:Saturday November 7 2009
Time: 10:57AM

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Under Armour Through The Shop Window

Late last night eagle eyed fans noticed something at the club shop I believe, and instead of it being the new home and away kit teasers...

Lambert Gets Linked Again?

Aston Villa are again being linked with now West Bromwich Albion striker Rickie Lambert.

Villa Players Return To Training With Familiar Face

Well it's Wednesday, and earlier today the players returned for testing and day one of Roberto Di Matteo's era at Villa Park.

Birmingham Games Switched On Police Advice

Not a great shock to see the home and away games against Birmingham City moved this season is it - if anything the only surprise is the announcement has come this...

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Can Gabby redeem himself and stay?
Suggested By: JP Fear
Yes32%
No63%
Meh, not sure5%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
C Burnley 46 26 15 5 93 37
P Middlesbrough 46 26 11 9 89 32
3 Brighton 46 24 17 5 89 30
4 Hull City 46 24 11 11 83 34
5 Derby County 46 21 15 10 78 23
6 Sheff Wed 46 19 17 10 74 21
7 Ipswich 46 18 15 13 69 2
8 Cardiff 46 17 17 12 68 5
9 Brentford 46 19 8 19 65 5
10 Birmingham 46 16 15 15 63 4
11 Preston 46 15 17 14 62 0
12 Q.P.R. 46 14 18 14 60 0
13 Leeds Utd 46 14 17 15 59 -8
14 Wolves 46 14 16 16 58 -5
15 Blackburn 46 13 16 17 55 0
16 Forest 46 13 16 17 55 -4
17 Reading 46 13 13 20 52 -7
18 Bristol City 46 13 13 20 52 -17
19 Huddersfield 46 13 12 21 51 -11
20 Fulham 46 12 15 19 51 -13
21 Rotherham 46 13 10 23 49 -18
R Charlton 46 9 13 24 40 -40
R MK Dons 46 9 12 25 39 -30
R Bolton 46 5 15 26 30 -40
The Vital Football Members League
Latest F1 News
Pirelli announce driver selections for Austria
Latest Vital Boxing News
Froch Not Sure About Groves!
Vital Football Comment

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.The Fear460
2.sirdennis198
3.Fulford192
4.BodyButter160
5.glensider148
6.JuanPabloAngel131
7.kefkat116
8.DeanoVilla107
9.Melon Donkey95
10.HeathfieldRoad187492
Write for Vital Football