Writer: Hercs and Benham
Date:Monday November 2 2009
In the dressing room from Hercs:
*The lads mull over their draw against Everton*
MON: Well lads, there were good points and bad points. Big John scored, he's really sent me a message.
*Carew pumps his fists*
MON: ...That he's far better as a substitute.
*the dressing room erupts with laughter, Carew hangs his head*
MON: Now Carlos you got sent off which on the face is of it is bad.
Cuellar: I dinnae ken wha' happened cap'tain.
MON: Well in my day you could decapitate someone as long as you touched the ball. As a matter of fact when I won the 79-80 European Cup final (a game I was magnificent in by the way) I'm pretty sure Viv Anderson did just that, all they got was a throw-in.
*Milner raises his hand*
Young: Did tha player die like boss?
MON: Die? Die!? Players were made of stronger stuff back then James, it would take more than a beheading to stop us playing in europe. Isn't that right Robbo?
*John Robertson nods*
A.Young: Didn't you miss the year before through injury boss?
MON: My leg was hanging on by a thread Ashley, I wanted to play, I even considered killing Robbo and wearing his face so they'd let me play.
*John Robertson looks horrified*
MON: I'm joking John of course and by joking I mean I tried and failed. Anyway, what was I saying? Ah yes. With Carlos suspended the right back position is now available, any volunteers?
*Luke Young and Habib Beye raise their hands eagerly*
Beye: Me, me boss, pick me!
L.Young: No boss me, choose me!
*MON gazes over the team almost as though he can't see L.Young or Beye*
L.Young: Boss me please!!
MON: Right, no takers then. Nigel you're up.
NRC: Aw! But boss Luke and....
MON: Hush Nigel!
NRC: But they're both full-b...
MON: Are you looking for contretemps!?
In the dressing room by Benham:
Mon and team have a meeting
MON: ok lads, got some injuries ahead of Wednesdays game as well as Carlos out suspended….Warnock is out, which leave us short at left back
Nicky Shorey: *coughs*
Mon: okkkkkkkk………, right back….who we got? Don’t wanna put Nigel there after last time……Milner's out, hmmmm…..
*Luke young starts coughing*
John Robertson: o stop messin him about mart, just ask him
Mon: haha….ok, just my sense of humour…slick boss you see….Luke!
Young: yes boss…..?
Mon: do you know anyone who can play right back?
Mon: o of course…………gardner!
Mon: why not? Is it because he's black?
Young: he's not black tho
Mon: nevermind that!!! Why cant he play there?
Young: cause I'm a right back…..
Mon: o I see…….so who goes at left back then?
Mon: 'laughs' your avin a laugh ain't ya? You can go there
Young: I don’t want to play at left back!
Mon: o so you're gonna let the team down then?
Young: well now its cause….
Mon: no no its fine, ill play there shall i??? 55 year old man, all because poor little Lukey don’t like it
Young: ok ill play there
Mon: no no forget it, I know….how about Bouma, ok he's still injured but that’s ok CAUSE YOU DON’T WANNA PLAY THERE DO YOU LUKE!!
Young: no its fine honest
Mon: get out
Mon: you heard….get out
Mon: so no bringing your bad vibes in my team ok…..immature little.....
Date:Monday November 2 2009
Deeney In, Helenius Out? (Thursday April 17 2014)
Lambert Upbeat Ahead Of Saints Clash (Thursday April 17 2014)
No Fresh Injury Problems Ahead Of Southampton (Thursday April 17 2014)
Lord Mayor Charity Cup Match For Academy (Thursday April 17 2014)
Randy In Praise Of Lambert (Wednesday April 16 2014)
Villa Confirm Suspensions (Tuesday April 15 2014)
Time To Unite - The Fans Already Have (Tuesday April 15 2014)
Culverhouse and Karsa Suspended (Tuesday April 15 2014)
U21s Lose To Chelsea (Monday April 14 2014)
Skipper - We Are In A Relegation Battle Again (Monday April 14 2014)
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