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In The Dressing Room (After Everton Draw + On RB)

In the dressing room from Hercs:

*The lads mull over their draw against Everton*

MON: Well lads, there were good points and bad points. Big John scored, he's really sent me a message.

*Carew pumps his fists*

Carew: Yes!

MON: ...That he's far better as a substitute.

*the dressing room erupts with laughter, Carew hangs his head*

MON: Now Carlos you got sent off which on the face is of it is bad.

Cuellar: I dinnae ken wha' happened cap'tain.

MON: Well in my day you could decapitate someone as long as you touched the ball. As a matter of fact when I won the 79-80 European Cup final (a game I was magnificent in by the way) I'm pretty sure Viv Anderson did just that, all they got was a throw-in.

*Milner raises his hand*

MON: James?

Young: Did tha player die like boss?

MON: Die? Die!? Players were made of stronger stuff back then James, it would take more than a beheading to stop us playing in europe. Isn't that right Robbo?

*John Robertson nods*

A.Young: Didn't you miss the year before through injury boss?

MON: My leg was hanging on by a thread Ashley, I wanted to play, I even considered killing Robbo and wearing his face so they'd let me play.

*John Robertson looks horrified*

MON: I'm joking John of course and by joking I mean I tried and failed. Anyway, what was I saying? Ah yes. With Carlos suspended the right back position is now available, any volunteers?

*Luke Young and Habib Beye raise their hands eagerly*

Beye: Me, me boss, pick me!

L.Young: No boss me, choose me!

*MON gazes over the team almost as though he can't see L.Young or Beye*

MON: No-one?

Beye: MEEEEEEEE!!!!

L.Young: Boss me please!!

MON: Right, no takers then. Nigel you're up.

NRC: Aw! But boss Luke and....

MON: Hush Nigel!

NRC: But they're both full-b...

MON: Are you looking for contretemps!?

--------

In the dressing room by Benham:

Mon and team have a meeting

MON: ok lads, got some injuries ahead of Wednesdays game as well as Carlos out suspended….Warnock is out, which leave us short at left back
Nicky Shorey: *coughs*
Mon: yes?
Ns……….nothing
Mon: okkkkkkkk………, right back….who we got? Don’t wanna put Nigel there after last time……Milner's out, hmmmm…..
*Luke young starts coughing*
John Robertson: o stop messin him about mart, just ask him
Mon: haha….ok, just my sense of humour…slick boss you see….Luke!
Young: yes boss…..?
Mon: do you know anyone who can play right back?
Young: erm………….yeah
Mon: o of course…………gardner!
Young: well….no
Mon: why not? Is it because he's black?
Young: he's not black tho
Mon: nevermind that!!! Why cant he play there?
Young: cause I'm a right back…..
Mon: o I see…….so who goes at left back then?
Young: Nicky?
Mon: 'laughs' your avin a laugh ain't ya? You can go there
Young: I don’t want to play at left back!
Mon: o so you're gonna let the team down then?
Young: well now its cause….
Mon: no no its fine, ill play there shall i??? 55 year old man, all because poor little Lukey don’t like it
Young: ok ill play there
Mon: no no forget it, I know….how about Bouma, ok he's still injured but that’s ok CAUSE YOU DON’T WANNA PLAY THERE DO YOU LUKE!!
Young: no its fine honest
Mon: get out
Young: what?
Mon: you heard….get out
Young leaves
Mon: so no bringing your bad vibes in my team ok…..immature little.....




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The Journalist

Writer: Hercs and Benham Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Monday November 2 2009

Time: 5:24PM

Your Comments

madmen!
The Fear
madmen!
The Fear
Haha. Brilliant stuff. Made my day. Love to see a 'transfer discussion' between O'neill and Learner.
arc1988
Haha. Brilliant stuff. Made my day. Love to see a 'transfer discussion' between O'neill and Learner.
arc1988
far funnier than the legendary scouse humour I'd say!
merlin
far funnier than the legendary scouse humour I'd say!
merlin
after milner raised his hands young starts talkin when it should of been milner. tut tut
jimjim96
after milner raised his hands young starts talkin when it should of been milner. tut tut
jimjim96
Funny because it's true.
Albarnista
Funny because it's true.
Albarnista
lol funny, but milner 2 young ;)
Tr1dent
lol funny, but milner 2 young ;)
Tr1dent
absolutely great stuff. Surprised you didnt add anything about Heskey goin to right back after his little spell there on saturday
av-jc-86
absolutely great stuff. Surprised you didnt add anything about Heskey goin to right back after his little spell there on saturday
av-jc-86
What was that *****?
young_jonah
What was that *****?
young_jonah
whats your ***** yj??
benham
whats your ***** yj??
benham
Ha! These are brill! Keep writing them, please!
Nel-A
Ha! These are brill! Keep writing them, please!
Nel-A
 

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