The Dressing Room (Wolverhampton Wanderers)
*The lads gather in the dressing room to discuss tactics for Wolverhampton Wanderers*
MON: OK lads, it's Wolves away. This is a massive club, steeped in history.
*The Dressing Room erupts with laughter*
MON: Joking aside, don't underestimate them, even if they are rubbish.
*a shaking Delph raises his hand*
Delph: Boss ... are they wolfmen? Stilyan said they're wolfmen and that if they bite me...
MON: No Fabian, they may bite you, they don't know any better but they're not wolfmen, there's no such thing.
Delph: What about Martin Keown and that man that was on Big Brother?
MON: they're not wolfmen .... Well Keown ... No, there's no such thing. Stilyan will you stop frightening young Delph.
Petrov: OK, sorry boss.
MON: Hang on a minute, are you dressed as a vampire!?
*Petrov unclips his cape and removes his plastic fangs and black wig*
Petrov: No boss, it's traditional bulgarian dress.
MON: Oh OK then, anyway... what was I saying?
Collins: You were going to select the team boss.
MON: Ah yes...
*MON selects the team based on form and position leaving only the right back position*
MON: and the right back is .....
*MON produces a silk bag and roots around in it pulling out a screwed up piece of paper and unravelling it*
MON: John Carew.
*MON points to Carew, Carew removes his headphones*
Carew: I won, I won! What's my prize?
*The lads queue waiting to hug MON in 'the cuddle chair' before emerging on to the pitch*
Carew: Lads? Lads!? What did I win? ... In the draw?