Date:Monday October 12 2009
Herc with another fly on the wall account of life in the Villa dressing room!
*MON storms into his office where Stilyan Petrov and Emile Heskey are eating bowls of Sugar Puffs*
MON: What the hell is this!?
*MON slams a paper on the table in front of Heskey*
MON: You're going to leave me? And I find out through the papers?!
Heskey: Boss I...
MON: Who do you think you are? Jude Law?
Heskey: Look boss they've taken it out of context....
MON: What next? Have you got a child with someone else!?
Heskey: Boss! It's not like we're in a relationship.
MON: What's wrong with you players? Of course it's a relationship, this contract *MON waves Heskey's contract* is like a marriage between man and club.
Heskey: I think you're being a bit ....
MON: A bit what Emile? A bit what?! Players today, in my day we would proudly wear the club's kit like a wedding dress, parade about in it we would, got married in my full Nottingham Forest kit I did. Everyday was the best day of your life. Nowadays it's all illegimate love-ins with the press.
Heskey: Now come on!
MON: You come on! I take you in, let you eat my Sugar Puffs. As a matter of fact give me those Sugar Puffs.
*MON snatches the bowl from Emile*
MON: They're my Sugar Puffs, Emile. Mine!
Heskey: Now you're just being childish boss.
MON: Childish!? Would a child do this?
*MON raises his hands to either side of his head like ears and brays like a donkey*
MON: Eyore! Eyore!
Heskey: What? What is this? Are you calling me a donkey?
MON: Yes Emile a donkey! YOU are a donkey! Now what am I?
*MON lies still on the ground, Petrov chimes in*
Petrov: Ooh, boss I don't know, what are you?
MON: I'm Emile 'holding up the ball'
*Petrov bursts out laughing*
Petrov: It is funny because Emile is always falling over when he is getting the ball.
Heskey: You monster!
*Heskey flees from the office using his forearm to hide his tearful eyes*
Date:Monday October 12 2009
Lambert Thanks Fans For Vociferous Support (Sunday May 19 2013)
Stats: Wigan v Aston Villa (Sunday May 19 2013)
Wigan v Villa - Team News 19/5/13 (Sunday May 19 2013)
We Deserve To Finish Higher (Saturday May 18 2013)
Pre Season Takes Shape (Friday May 17 2013)
Something For The Weekend (424) (Friday May 17 2013)
Lambert Sticking To His Policy - No Big Signings (Friday May 17 2013)
Shaun Maloney Speaks To Vital Wigan About Stan (Friday May 17 2013)
Mystic Mug Sits On Fence To Beat Lawro! (Friday May 17 2013)
Clark Ruled Out Of Wigan Match (Thursday May 16 2013)
|1.||Pride of Lions||850|
|Man Utd||3||-||0||Aston Villa|
|15. Aston Villa||38||10||11||17||-22||41|
|Report - Swansea City 0-3 Fulham
» Swansea : 19/05/2013 23:07:00
|West Ham 4 - 2 Reading
» Reading : 19/05/2013 22:55:00
» Newcastle : 19/05/2013 21:53:00
|The Moment That Made It All Worthwhile
» Arsenal : 19/05/2013 20:48:00
|Coutinho Compounds QPR Drop
» Q.P.R. : 19/05/2013 20:46:00
|Happy St Totteringham's Day To Gooners Everwhere
» Arsenal : 19/05/2013 20:21:00
|Lambert Thanks Fans For Vociferous Support
» Aston Villa : 19/05/2013 20:12:00