Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

The Dressing Room (Goodnight Sweetheart!)

The Dressing Room (Goodnight Sweetheart!)

Herc with another fly on the wall account of life in the Villa dressing room!

*MON storms into his office where Stilyan Petrov and Emile Heskey are eating bowls of Sugar Puffs*

MON: What the hell is this!?

*MON slams a paper on the table in front of Heskey*

MON: You're going to leave me? And I find out through the papers?!

Heskey: Boss I...

MON: Who do you think you are? Jude Law?

Heskey: Look boss they've taken it out of context....

MON: What next? Have you got a child with someone else!?

Heskey: Boss! It's not like we're in a relationship.

MON: What's wrong with you players? Of course it's a relationship, this contract *MON waves Heskey's contract* is like a marriage between man and club.

Heskey: I think you're being a bit ....

MON: A bit what Emile? A bit what?! Players today, in my day we would proudly wear the club's kit like a wedding dress, parade about in it we would, got married in my full Nottingham Forest kit I did. Everyday was the best day of your life. Nowadays it's all illegimate love-ins with the press.

Heskey: Now come on!

MON: You come on! I take you in, let you eat my Sugar Puffs. As a matter of fact give me those Sugar Puffs.

*MON snatches the bowl from Emile*

MON: They're my Sugar Puffs, Emile. Mine!

Heskey: Now you're just being childish boss.

MON: Childish!? Would a child do this?

*MON raises his hands to either side of his head like ears and brays like a donkey*

MON: Eyore! Eyore!

Heskey: What? What is this? Are you calling me a donkey?

MON: Yes Emile a donkey! YOU are a donkey! Now what am I?

*MON lies still on the ground, Petrov chimes in*

Petrov: Ooh, boss I don't know, what are you?

MON: I'm Emile 'holding up the ball'

*Petrov bursts out laughing*

Petrov: It is funny because Emile is always falling over when he is getting the ball.

Heskey: You monster!

*Heskey flees from the office using his forearm to hide his tearful eyes*



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Herc
Date:Monday October 12 2009
Time: 11:49AM

Comments

0
These are good, but Benham used to do all these fake conversation script things a few months back and never got front paged!! Hercs' stuff is good, but I thought Benham's was good too, possibly better.
young_jonah
12/10/2009 12:00:00
0
These are good, but Benham used to do all these fake conversation script things a few months back and never got front paged!! Hercs' stuff is good, but I thought Benham's was good too, possibly better.
young_jonah
12/10/2009 12:00:00
0
HHAHAAHHAA
faroe_villa_rules
12/10/2009 12:01:00
0
HHAHAAHHAA
faroe_villa_rules
12/10/2009 12:01:00
0
yes but I hate Benham since he called me rude names via text and the way he never laugh's at my jokes...! :o)
The Fear
12/10/2009 12:02:00
0
yes but I hate Benham since he called me rude names via text and the way he never laugh's at my jokes...! :o)
The Fear
12/10/2009 12:02:00
0
ooooh, thats embarrassing....
benham
12/10/2009 12:09:00
0
ooooh, thats embarrassing....
benham
12/10/2009 12:09:00
0
Fear your jokes care crap! He keeps forwarding them to me!
Ratman
12/10/2009 12:25:00
0
Fear your jokes care crap! He keeps forwarding them to me!
Ratman
12/10/2009 12:25:00
Page 1/4
  1. 1
  2. 2
  3. 3
  4. 4

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Bruce Isn't The Only One To Be Angry At Lack Of Basics

Steve Bruce is taking the team back to basics in training this week. Disgraceful they should have to be told isn't it?

The Latest Aston Villa Transfer Talk. Anyone Coming?

The latest round up of transfer talk for Aston Villa. Less talk and more players on the pitch would be nice !

Player Leaves Villa - If Only They Arrived As Quickly

Another player departing, this time Aly out on loan. If only we got players IN as quickly.

The Villa Times - 16/01/2017 (Aston Villa News Round-up)

The latest news and views on Aston Villa via the uno fish ial one...

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Play offs?
Suggested By: JP Fear
No chance75%
Yes2%
Still depends on signings23%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Newcastle 26 18 1 7 55 29
2 Brighton 25 16 6 3 54 23
3 Leeds Utd 26 15 3 8 48 11
4 Reading 25 14 4 7 46 3
5 Huddersfield 26 14 4 8 46 0
6 Sheff Wed 26 13 6 7 45 6
7 Derby County 26 11 7 8 40 5
8 Fulham 25 10 9 6 39 13
9 Preston 26 11 6 9 39 3
10 Barnsley 26 11 5 10 38 4
11 Norwich 26 11 4 11 37 3
12 Birmingham 26 9 9 8 36 -5
13 Aston Villa 26 8 11 7 35 1
14 Ipswich 26 9 7 10 34 -3
15 Brentford 26 9 6 11 33 0
16 Wolves 26 8 8 10 32 -1
17 Q.P.R. 26 9 5 12 32 -11
18 Cardiff 25 8 6 11 30 -10
19 Bristol City 26 8 3 15 27 -3
20 Forest 26 7 6 13 27 -8
21 Burton 26 6 7 13 25 -10
22 Blackburn 26 6 6 14 24 -12
23 Wigan 26 5 7 14 22 -9
24 Rotherham 26 4 4 18 16 -29
Vital Football Comment
Latest F1 News
Bottas announcement expected
Latest Vital Boxing News
Jack Re-Match for DeGale at Light-Heavyweight?
Write for Vital Football

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Jan 21 2017 3:00PM : Preston North End (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Jan 28 2017 3:00PM : Bristol City (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Jan 31 2017 7:45PM : Brentford (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Feb 4 2017 5:30PM : Nottingham Forest (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Feb 11 2017 3:00PM : Ipswich Town (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Feb 14 2017 7:45PM : Barnsley (H)
Sky Bet Championship

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.The Fear411
2.JuanPabloAngel279
3.Silhillvilla244
4.sirdennis205
5.Fulford201
6.Villan57173
7.Melon Donkey127
8.BodyButter100
9.danvilla290
10.villasince6787
The Vital Football Members League