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The Dressing Room (Goodnight Sweetheart!)

Herc with another fly on the wall account of life in the Villa dressing room!

*MON storms into his office where Stilyan Petrov and Emile Heskey are eating bowls of Sugar Puffs*

MON: What the hell is this!?

*MON slams a paper on the table in front of Heskey*

MON: You're going to leave me? And I find out through the papers?!

Heskey: Boss I...

MON: Who do you think you are? Jude Law?

Heskey: Look boss they've taken it out of context....

MON: What next? Have you got a child with someone else!?

Heskey: Boss! It's not like we're in a relationship.

MON: What's wrong with you players? Of course it's a relationship, this contract *MON waves Heskey's contract* is like a marriage between man and club.

Heskey: I think you're being a bit ....

MON: A bit what Emile? A bit what?! Players today, in my day we would proudly wear the club's kit like a wedding dress, parade about in it we would, got married in my full Nottingham Forest kit I did. Everyday was the best day of your life. Nowadays it's all illegimate love-ins with the press.

Heskey: Now come on!

MON: You come on! I take you in, let you eat my Sugar Puffs. As a matter of fact give me those Sugar Puffs.

*MON snatches the bowl from Emile*

MON: They're my Sugar Puffs, Emile. Mine!

Heskey: Now you're just being childish boss.

MON: Childish!? Would a child do this?

*MON raises his hands to either side of his head like ears and brays like a donkey*

MON: Eyore! Eyore!

Heskey: What? What is this? Are you calling me a donkey?

MON: Yes Emile a donkey! YOU are a donkey! Now what am I?

*MON lies still on the ground, Petrov chimes in*

Petrov: Ooh, boss I don't know, what are you?

MON: I'm Emile 'holding up the ball'

*Petrov bursts out laughing*

Petrov: It is funny because Emile is always falling over when he is getting the ball.

Heskey: You monster!

*Heskey flees from the office using his forearm to hide his tearful eyes*




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The Journalist

Writer: Herc Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Monday October 12 2009

Time: 11:49AM

Your Comments (oldest first)

Change to most recent first
These are good, but Benham used to do all these fake conversation script things a few months back and never got front paged!! Hercs' stuff is good, but I thought Benham's was good too, possibly better.
young_jonah
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12/10/2009 12:00:00

These are good, but Benham used to do all these fake conversation script things a few months back and never got front paged!! Hercs' stuff is good, but I thought Benham's was good too, possibly better.
young_jonah
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12/10/2009 12:00:00

HHAHAAHHAA
faroe_villa_rules
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12/10/2009 12:01:00

HHAHAAHHAA
faroe_villa_rules
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12/10/2009 12:01:00

yes but I hate Benham since he called me rude names via text and the way he never laugh's at my jokes...! :o)
The Fear
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12/10/2009 12:02:00

yes but I hate Benham since he called me rude names via text and the way he never laugh's at my jokes...! :o)
The Fear
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12/10/2009 12:02:00

ooooh, thats embarrassing....
benham
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12/10/2009 12:09:00

ooooh, thats embarrassing....
benham
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12/10/2009 12:09:00

Fear your jokes care crap! He keeps forwarding them to me!
Ratman
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12/10/2009 12:25:00

Fear your jokes care crap! He keeps forwarding them to me!
Ratman
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12/10/2009 12:25:00

your jokes ARE crap
Ratman
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12/10/2009 12:26:00

your jokes ARE crap
Ratman
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12/10/2009 12:26:00

fine ratters.....i wont bother in future! tho the cludo one was great, but that was deanos :5:
benham
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12/10/2009 12:32:00

fine ratters.....i wont bother in future! tho the cludo one was great, but that was deanos :5:
benham
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12/10/2009 12:32:00

Any links to your stuff Benham?
Hercs
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12/10/2009 12:41:00

Any links to your stuff Benham?
Hercs
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12/10/2009 12:41:00

Nice one :o)
DoLpHiNaToR
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12/10/2009 12:48:00

Nice one :o)
DoLpHiNaToR
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12/10/2009 12:48:00

nah fear keeps deleting them.............
benham
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12/10/2009 12:56:00

nah fear keeps deleting them.............
benham
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12/10/2009 12:56:00

Take no notice Hercs, YJ just has "special" feelings for benham.
steff_the_villan
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12/10/2009 13:14:00

Take no notice Hercs, YJ just has "special" feelings for benham.
steff_the_villan
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12/10/2009 13:14:00

ratman, you've really hurt my feelings now...! (By the way, join up on the lions thing mate!)
The Fear
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12/10/2009 15:08:00

ratman, you've really hurt my feelings now...! (By the way, join up on the lions thing mate!)
The Fear
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12/10/2009 15:08:00

Hercs don't encourage benham, we keep trying to ban him but he keeps coming back! :o))
The Fear
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12/10/2009 15:09:00

Hercs don't encourage benham, we keep trying to ban him but he keeps coming back! :o))
The Fear
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12/10/2009 15:09:00

Well well, A Vital Villa civil war? ;-) And great article, laughed my guts out!
JT_daniel
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12/10/2009 16:44:00

Well well, A Vital Villa civil war? ;-) And great article, laughed my guts out!
JT_daniel
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12/10/2009 16:44:00

:o) Bit of banter... apart from with Benham, he bullies me you know?!
the fear
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12/10/2009 18:26:00

:o) Bit of banter... apart from with Benham, he bullies me you know?!
the fear
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12/10/2009 18:26:00

BLOODY AMAZING!
Matt_Us
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13/10/2009 02:59:00

BLOODY AMAZING!
Matt_Us
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13/10/2009 02:59:00

 

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