Date:Monday October 12 2009
Herc with another fly on the wall account of life in the Villa dressing room!
*MON storms into his office where Stilyan Petrov and Emile Heskey are eating bowls of Sugar Puffs*
MON: What the hell is this!?
*MON slams a paper on the table in front of Heskey*
MON: You're going to leave me? And I find out through the papers?!
Heskey: Boss I...
MON: Who do you think you are? Jude Law?
Heskey: Look boss they've taken it out of context....
MON: What next? Have you got a child with someone else!?
Heskey: Boss! It's not like we're in a relationship.
MON: What's wrong with you players? Of course it's a relationship, this contract *MON waves Heskey's contract* is like a marriage between man and club.
Heskey: I think you're being a bit ....
MON: A bit what Emile? A bit what?! Players today, in my day we would proudly wear the club's kit like a wedding dress, parade about in it we would, got married in my full Nottingham Forest kit I did. Everyday was the best day of your life. Nowadays it's all illegimate love-ins with the press.
Heskey: Now come on!
MON: You come on! I take you in, let you eat my Sugar Puffs. As a matter of fact give me those Sugar Puffs.
*MON snatches the bowl from Emile*
MON: They're my Sugar Puffs, Emile. Mine!
Heskey: Now you're just being childish boss.
MON: Childish!? Would a child do this?
*MON raises his hands to either side of his head like ears and brays like a donkey*
MON: Eyore! Eyore!
Heskey: What? What is this? Are you calling me a donkey?
MON: Yes Emile a donkey! YOU are a donkey! Now what am I?
*MON lies still on the ground, Petrov chimes in*
Petrov: Ooh, boss I don't know, what are you?
MON: I'm Emile 'holding up the ball'
*Petrov bursts out laughing*
Petrov: It is funny because Emile is always falling over when he is getting the ball.
Heskey: You monster!
*Heskey flees from the office using his forearm to hide his tearful eyes*
Date:Monday October 12 2009
Aston Villa v Sunderland Player Ratings (Sunday August 30 2015)
Something For The Weekend (500) (Sunday August 30 2015)
Sherwood Gives Sunderland Thoughts (Saturday August 29 2015)
Audio - Sherwood On Sunderland Draw (Saturday August 29 2015)
Stats: Aston Villa v Sunderland (Saturday August 29 2015)
Aston Villa v Sunderland - Team Sheets (Saturday August 29 2015)
Pre Sunderland Injury Update (Friday August 28 2015)
The Aston Villa Injury Table Updated (Friday August 28 2015)
Mystic Mug v Lawro - Aston Villa v Sunderland (Friday August 28 2015)
Infographic - England Based On Stats! (Aston Villa (Thursday August 27 2015)
|1.||Pride of Lions||1239|
|Crystal Palace||2||-||1||Aston Villa|
|Aston Villa||0||-||1||Man Utd|
|AFC Bournemouth||0||-||1||Aston Villa|
|11. AFC Bournemouth||4||1||1||2||-1||4|
|12. Aston Villa||4||1||1||2||-1||4|
|Valdes Besiktas Move is OFF
» Man Utd : 30/08/2015 13:50:00
|One Strange Fact
» Chelsea : 30/08/2015 13:43:00
|The Ped Report... City 2-0 Watford
» Man City : 30/08/2015 13:25:00
|The Rise Of Craig Cathcart
» Watford : 30/08/2015 13:23:00
» Crystal Palace : 30/08/2015 13:06:01