The Dressing Room (Manchester City)

We join the lads gearing up for their Monday night clash with Man City*

MON: So, Man City, this'll see the return of Gareth so I'll be expecting ...

Dunne: Us to kick him ta death bass?

MON: What!? Heavens no, I was going to say.....

Dunne: Right, plausible deniablity bass, gotcha.

*Dunne taps his nose and points at MON*

MON: What? Why are you tapping your nose and pointing to me like that? I honestly mean....

Dunne: Gotcha bass, honest as the day is long ya are bass, no involvement in the kicking.

*Dunne points at MON with both fingers tapping his thumbs like pistol hammers and winking*

MON: What's with the 'hand guns' and winking? Look don't just go out there and kick the lad.

Dunne: Right ya are bass, ya never know who's watchin' with tha cameras about today and all that.

*Dunne sticks a thumb up keeping his hand below his waist and motioning to the thumb with his head*

MON: So no kicking Gareth Barry then, we're agreed?

Dunne: 'COURSE NOT BASS! WON'T TOUCH THE LAD!

*Dunne looks around with a large fake grin, turns to MON and nods*

MON: Wait, why are you talking like that? Is that nod agreeing you won't touch him?

Dunne: Oh Aye there'll be no kicking to be seen.

Voice over the tannoy: ***Can the club managers please make their way to the dugout***

MON: Right, got to go, good luck lads, Stilyan, captain's speech.

*MON Leaves the dressing room, Petrov stands, Dunne pushes Petrov back into his seat.*

Dunne: I'll take this one Stanny boy. Right lads ya heard tha bass, kick lumps out of Gareth Barry!

Collins: I don't know, it didn't sound like the boss said that, Barry seems a nice enough guy too, I met him at a charity thing once and ......Ow! Richard! Did you just ... Bite me?

Dunne: Yes, yes I did.

*The lads look fearfully at Dunne who now has a crazed look in his eye*

Dunne: Now, Who we gonna kick!?

All the Lads: Gareth Barry!

Dunne: When we gonna kick 'im!?

All the Lads: Now!

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