Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

The Dressing Room (Post Blackburn)

The Dressing Room (Post Blackburn)

New Vital Villa member Hercs first post, a spoof of the post match dressing room after Blackburn Rovers match!

*We join the lads mourning the loss to Blackburn*

MON: So .... We lost but that's OK, it's not the end of the world.

Delph: It's the end of the world!?! Aaaaaargh!

*Delph runs in a circle with his hands in the air*

MON: No I said NOT the end of the world.

Delph: Oh sorry boss.

*Delph takes a seat*

MON: We've still got a lot going for us, we're still high in the table and doing well with injuries. Our defence is still relatively stingy and Gabriel you're still liking the goals right?

Gabby: No.

*The lads all gasp in shock like a courtroom drama*

MON: What do you mean Gabriel? Why don't you like goals?

Gabby: I like goals when they win. I got a goal. We lost, so .... I don't like them anymore, I think I won't score any more this season.

MON: WHAT!?

Gabby: I think that's me done, no more goals.

MON: No more goals!? But ... But you've hit a rich vein of form scoring 5 in 5 early in the season it's not like you to start off well and have a cataclysmic drop in form when we lose .... Wait a minute, is this what you did last season?

Gabby: Yes.

MON: What?! Great where am I going to get my goals now?

*Heskey raises his hand, stands with his chest proudly puffed out*

Heskey: I shall get your goals boss!

*The dressing room erupts with laughter*

Heskey: What?

NRC: I'm more likely to get our goals than you Emile.

Heskey: You? But the boss hates you he PM'd me on Facebook and told me so, plus even if you were picked you can't score for toffee!

NRC: Exactly!

*The dressing room erupts with laughter*

Carew: Well boss you know what you've got to do if you want me to get you goals.

MON: John I've told you a hundred times we are not having a strippers pole installed in the dressing room for me to 'perform' my team talks.

Carew: What about just 'half-time honeys' on the pole then?

MON: NO pole! NO half time honeys!

*Carew folds his arms, rocks back in his chair and kicks the one in front of him*

.....Next Week ......

MON: Right John, I need you grabbing some goals.

Carew: No problem boss.

*MON spirals down the pole upside down and does the splits*

MON: Defence, keep it tight....



*Try Vital Mobile FOR FREE for the latest news, scores, fixtures and so much more*

Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Hercs
Date:Monday September 28 2009
Time: 2:33PM

Comments

0
love it, great first post, hopefully the first of many!
The Fear
28/09/2009 14:36:00
0
love it, great first post, hopefully the first of many!
The Fear
28/09/2009 14:36:00
0
Could be a new poll, who is most likely to score when one on one with the keeper, Nige or Heskey??? (think that the keeper scoring an own goal would win every time.) Neither are of sufficient quality to play in the top half of the prem.
Villan444
28/09/2009 15:27:00
0
Could be a new poll, who is most likely to score when one on one with the keeper, Nige or Heskey??? (think that the keeper scoring an own goal would win every time.) Neither are of sufficient quality to play in the top half of the prem.
Villan444
28/09/2009 15:27:00
0
Made me chuckle, that!
Sheriff Kimbo
28/09/2009 15:42:00
0
Oh also - I hope we have some of these when we win as well!
Sheriff Kimbo
28/09/2009 15:42:00
0
Made me chuckle, that!
Sheriff Kimbo
28/09/2009 15:42:00
0
Oh also - I hope we have some of these when we win as well!
Sheriff Kimbo
28/09/2009 15:42:00
0
I've done a fair few of them to be honest, I won't distract from this board with "advertisements but I'll post the pre and post Cardiff City ones in the "off topic" section.
Hercs
28/09/2009 15:51:00
0
I've done a fair few of them to be honest, I won't distract from this board with "advertisements but I'll post the pre and post Cardiff City ones in the "off topic" section.
Hercs
28/09/2009 15:51:00
Page 1/2
  1. 1
  2. 2

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Stats: Aston Villa v Norwich

All the stats from Aston Villa (2) vs (0) Norwich, Villa Park, 6/2/16 Att: 32,472

Something For The Weekend (521)

Their priorities are clear but their vision is myopic.

An Open Letter To The FA Over Kalinic

An excellent, in depth, letter to the FA over our failed attempt to buy Lovre Kalinic

The Aston Villa Injury Table... Updated

Our weekly update looking at the injury table for Aston Villa and also comparing with all our competitors in the Premier League.

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Profile
Mike Field
Profile
Steve Wade
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
Profile
Turkish Penguin
Profile
Glensider
Profile
Chris Heath
Profile
M Calucar
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Norwich MotM
Suggested By: Site Staff
Bunn3%
Richards0%
Okore11%
Lescott14%
Cissokho0%
Bacuna0%
Gana37%
Westwood0%
Gil5%
Agbonlahor25%
Veretout5%
Sub - Clark0%
ScoopDragon Premier League Network Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Leicester City 25 15 8 2 53 20
2 Spurs 25 13 9 3 48 26
3 Man City 25 14 5 6 47 21
4 Arsenal 24 13 6 5 45 15
5 Man Utd 24 11 7 6 40 10
6 West Ham 25 10 9 6 39 9
7 Southampton 25 10 7 8 37 9
8 Everton 25 8 11 6 35 12
9 Liverpool 25 9 8 8 35 -4
10 Watford 25 9 6 10 33 0
11 Stoke 25 9 6 10 33 -7
12 Crystal Palace 25 9 5 11 32 -4
13 Chelsea 24 7 8 9 29 -2
14 WBA 25 7 8 10 29 -9
15 AFC Bournemouth 24 7 7 10 28 -10
16 Swansea 25 6 9 10 27 -9
17 Newcastle 25 6 6 13 24 -18
18 Norwich 25 6 5 14 23 -20
19 Sunderland 25 5 5 15 20 -19
20 Aston Villa 25 3 7 15 16 -20
Vital Football Comment
Latest F1 News
Renault target podium finish by 2018
Latest Vital Boxing News
Dublin Promotion Postponed
Write for Vital Football

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Feb 14 2016 2:05PM : Liverpool (H)
Barclays Premier League
Feb 27 2016 3:00PM : Stoke City (a)
Barclays Premier League
Mar 1 2016 7:45PM : Everton (H)
Barclays Premier League
Mar 5 2016 3:00PM : Manchester City (a)
Barclays Premier League
Mar 12 2016 3:00PM : Tottenham Hotspur (H)
Barclays Premier League
Mar 19 2016 5:30PM : Swansea City (a)
Barclays Premier League

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.Pride of Lions355
2.Fulford220
3.The Fear197
4.ClivetheVillan196
5.revdpete140
6.JuanPabloAngel139
7.sirdennis129
8.Wurzel110
9.DeanoVilla93
10.He'sBiggerThanMe&You67
The Vital Football Members League