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The Dressing Room (Post Blackburn)

New Vital Villa member Hercs first post, a spoof of the post match dressing room after Blackburn Rovers match!

*We join the lads mourning the loss to Blackburn*

MON: So .... We lost but that's OK, it's not the end of the world.

Delph: It's the end of the world!?! Aaaaaargh!

*Delph runs in a circle with his hands in the air*

MON: No I said NOT the end of the world.

Delph: Oh sorry boss.

*Delph takes a seat*

MON: We've still got a lot going for us, we're still high in the table and doing well with injuries. Our defence is still relatively stingy and Gabriel you're still liking the goals right?

Gabby: No.

*The lads all gasp in shock like a courtroom drama*

MON: What do you mean Gabriel? Why don't you like goals?

Gabby: I like goals when they win. I got a goal. We lost, so .... I don't like them anymore, I think I won't score any more this season.

MON: WHAT!?

Gabby: I think that's me done, no more goals.

MON: No more goals!? But ... But you've hit a rich vein of form scoring 5 in 5 early in the season it's not like you to start off well and have a cataclysmic drop in form when we lose .... Wait a minute, is this what you did last season?

Gabby: Yes.

MON: What?! Great where am I going to get my goals now?

*Heskey raises his hand, stands with his chest proudly puffed out*

Heskey: I shall get your goals boss!

*The dressing room erupts with laughter*

Heskey: What?

NRC: I'm more likely to get our goals than you Emile.

Heskey: You? But the boss hates you he PM'd me on Facebook and told me so, plus even if you were picked you can't score for toffee!

NRC: Exactly!

*The dressing room erupts with laughter*

Carew: Well boss you know what you've got to do if you want me to get you goals.

MON: John I've told you a hundred times we are not having a strippers pole installed in the dressing room for me to 'perform' my team talks.

Carew: What about just 'half-time honeys' on the pole then?

MON: NO pole! NO half time honeys!

*Carew folds his arms, rocks back in his chair and kicks the one in front of him*

.....Next Week ......

MON: Right John, I need you grabbing some goals.

Carew: No problem boss.

*MON spirals down the pole upside down and does the splits*

MON: Defence, keep it tight....




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The Journalist

Writer: Hercs Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Monday September 28 2009

Time: 2:33PM

Your Comments

love it, great first post, hopefully the first of many!
The Fear
love it, great first post, hopefully the first of many!
The Fear
Could be a new poll, who is most likely to score when one on one with the keeper, Nige or Heskey??? (think that the keeper scoring an own goal would win every time.) Neither are of sufficient quality to play in the top half of the prem.
Villan444
Could be a new poll, who is most likely to score when one on one with the keeper, Nige or Heskey??? (think that the keeper scoring an own goal would win every time.) Neither are of sufficient quality to play in the top half of the prem.
Villan444
Made me chuckle, that!
Sheriff Kimbo
Oh also - I hope we have some of these when we win as well!
Sheriff Kimbo
Made me chuckle, that!
Sheriff Kimbo
Oh also - I hope we have some of these when we win as well!
Sheriff Kimbo
I've done a fair few of them to be honest, I won't distract from this board with "advertisements but I'll post the pre and post Cardiff City ones in the "off topic" section.
Hercs
I've done a fair few of them to be honest, I won't distract from this board with "advertisements but I'll post the pre and post Cardiff City ones in the "off topic" section.
Hercs
brilliant
johnmurphy3112
brilliant
johnmurphy3112
Very good Hercs, very amusing. Welcome to the site. Early indications suggest you will be a top notch aquisition, great to have you onboard.
glensider
Very good Hercs, very amusing. Welcome to the site. Early indications suggest you will be a top notch aquisition, great to have you onboard.
glensider
am i alone in thinking that NRC is still a very very important member of our squad? Against weaker opposition yes we need players that can break opposition teams down, but surely against the best teams in the league, hopefully starting with Man City, we surely need NRC's tackling ability & workrate?
Ericols_Son
am i alone in thinking that NRC is still a very very important member of our squad? Against weaker opposition yes we need players that can break opposition teams down, but surely against the best teams in the league, hopefully starting with Man City, we surely need NRC's tackling ability & workrate?
Ericols_Son
 

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