Torres Has Broken His Villa Virginity

There's an interesting article in the Times, yes I'm capable of being posh and reading broadsheets - why are you so surprised. The internet allows access to everything afterall!

You didn't really think I went out and pretending to buy a packet of condoms just to shove a Times supplement down the back of my trousers did you? Or did you?

The interweb people, it brings people apart, and let's you read stuff you'd never be caught dead draped in.

Anyhoo, (told you it was my word of the week - come Monday I might go with 'onwards', I haven't decided yet) that great ABBA song Fernando Torres has been speaking out about the most annoying team he has to face in terms of defenders who kick, floor, giggle at his hair and generally stop him from scoring in front of upwards of 30 thousand people every week.

That's the problem with modern day footballers, they all think they can do whatever they like in public...who'd want to score regularly in front of 30,000 plus people...sorry wrong forum.

Onwards, (yeah it works doesn't it) anyhoo Torres has gone on record saying he hates playing against little old us.

Makes you warm and fuzzy inside doesn't it.

The Times are actually covering Torres' autobiography where he explains playing against Chelsea, United and Arsenal are relatively easy games. However he admits it seems our defenders are the most excited when they face off against him:

'You have some defenders who are really hard for you. (oh err - Ed)

'The Aston Villa defenders, for me, are really difficult. I don`t know why. I have never had a good game against them because they are very, very aggressive and are doing man-to-man over almost the whole pitch.'

Our recent, thoroughly unexpected, victory obviously is a cause for concern for the Spaniard as he adds - without any bitterness:

'I hope we can win away against them because at home we lost 3-1.'

It's not a stat I'd thought to even look for, but that probably explains why my nickname isn't Stato to be fair, but apparently our last encounter with Liverpool was the first time Torres (a player I would kill for if it helped him arrive at B6) actually scored his first against us. The record shows we are the only team he has faced more than once and yet not scored. He's faced us 4/5 times and remained a virgin until the other month.

Doesn't mean much when the last time we played them they hammered us 5-0, but Torres didn't score! Let's look on the brightside folks.

And on that note, it's possible time for me to go to bed.

ONWARDS!

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