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'If It's Football, It's Vital'

FA Tell McClaren To F. off

Today will go down as the greatest day in the history of English football since the game was awash with partially sighted Russian linesmen.

Earlier this morning, an FA mole leaked the news that Steve McClaren has been dismissed from his position as England manager. It will be a long anxious wait until midday, when FA spokesman (and my new hero) Ray Polodaflis will officially release the momentous news to a delirious nation.

Ray will claim that the manager has left by ‘mutual consent’, but my sources have informed me that he’s been pushed like a fat baby.

McClaren’s recent childlike behaviour left the FA with no real alternative. His post-match press conference after the Andorran debacle lasted a grand total of two minutes. 120 seconds may impress the wife, but it’s not good enough for an ambassador of the national team.

It was reported that McClaren then tried to mow down the Daily Star’s Brian Woolnough, but in an ironic twist, the coach wasn’t up to the job.

I guess the writing was on the wall for Macca as soon as he lost the fans. If there’s any truth to the supporter’s chants, McClaren will easily find work in the banking sector.

Soccer AM’s Tim Lovejoy was quick to praise the FA’s decision. “Change is good after all,” quipped the lame television presenter.

The FA are unlikely to name a potential successor, but I honestly believe that any high profile manager would improve this England team. Obviously, this is a ‘without Graeme Souness’ scenario.

McClaren’s short-lived tenure must go down as an unmitigated disaster. We wanted a fine wine, but we got a bitter lemon. Today, our glass is half full again, and we should all drink to that.

By Gerry McDonnell




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The Journalist

Writer: J P Fear Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Sunday April 1 2007

Time: 10:14AM

Your Comments

If only. Nice try though! ;-)
The Fear
Report Abuse
01/04/2007 10:15:00

Feckers. i thought this was real till the midday part was mentioned and then blam it hit me that the date is the 1st of April. Baaaaaaaaaaastardos
TuBBz
Report Abuse
01/04/2007 13:16:00

I was hoping they were going to appoint that Polish bloke Lipra Loof from Locomotive Moscow. Never mind.....
col8
Report Abuse
01/04/2007 14:47:00

Thanks for trying to cheer me up. He will go in the end I mean he can only beat Andorra he cant beat anyone else
Christo
Report Abuse
01/04/2007 21:18:00

As JF so rightly says, 'If only'. In reality though, this guys here for the completion of the Euro Championship qualifying campaign at least, and then through until after World Cup 2010 if the F.A. big-wigs have their way. The only way we'll be rid of McClown short term is if we fail to make next years Euro finals, and I just cant bring myself to wish for that to happen.
glensider
Report Abuse
02/04/2007 15:21:00

If it were true then we might be able to start building for the next World Cup!
merlin
Report Abuse
02/04/2007 16:25:00

 

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