Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

That Lam Chop was Delightful

That Lam Chop was Delightful

My life is currently like an attempt on goal from Frank Lampard; it lacks any real direction. The wife tries to fill her void with a part time job in a psychiatric hospital; it`s great that they can relate to someone on their own level.

There was a heated discussion at the wife`s workplace on the relative merits of Steven Gerrard MBE and Frank Lampard BFG. Opinion was split right down the middle; the staff sided with Stevie, the patients plumped for Frank.

The great thing about a debate of this nature is the fact that there is no wrong answer; apart from 'Lampard`. The argument has momentarily been settled by a freak injury, although that`s a little bit harsh on Wayne Rooney. Nobody can argue against a punt on Chelsea at 1/3 to take care of Watford.

You don`t become a bad player overnight; it took Robbie Savage almost two years. I`m taking the 9/2 for a Shevchenko opener.

Historical stats are like Helen Chamberlain, they`re often reeled out but they serve no useful purpose. Middlesbrough have lost on their last four visits to West Ham, but I wouldn`t put anyone off a draw at 23/10.

The last time the Gunners visited Anfield, the Arsenal kids ran amok so uncontrollably, the local council considered issuing ASBOs. The Gunners look a great investment at 23/10 to leave Liverpool victorious for a third time.

Julio Baptista has had his knockers this season, but he always turns it on against the Reds. I like big Baps; he can open the scoring at 8/1.

I was shocked to read that Sir Alex Ferguson fired a flurry of insulting expletives towards the jovial Geoff Shreeves. The roving reporter was considering suing for slander, but Fergie`s 'I thought it was Tim Lovejoy` defence is watertight. I`m convinced that the 1/3 for a United win over Blackburn is also rock solid.

Bolton will be without Ivan Campo for the visit of the Blades as a routine haircut has ran into major complications. Big Sam`s men will mow down Sheffield United at 4/6.

I`m quite a spiritual being; in fact I have the ability to heal. I once roused a young lady from a drunken stupor merely by the laying of hands. She`s now completely teetotal.

Alan Pardew has breathed new life into the previously moribund Charlton; Wigan are going down in the Valley at 6/5.

Chris Coleman deserves a pat on the back. It`s easier to take something away from Tony Martin`s cottage than it is from Fulham`s. The Coleman`s mustard, they`ll see off Pompey at 5/4.

Spurs fans are still reeling from a disappointing result against the champions. Everyone knows you should throw the jab before considering a haymaker. I`m getting stuck into the 4/5 for a Tottenham win over Reading.

The ice on which Stuart Pearce`s position sits is so thin; ecological organisations have pleaded with Frank Lampard to steer clear. Manchester City won`t enjoy their trip to Newcastle, it`s far too close to Scotland. City have lost at St James` Park on their last five visits, another Newcastle win at 21/20 will put the icing on Psycho`s cake of sorrow.

My search for a more fulfilling existence has led me to consider embracing an alternative religion. I`ll speak to Geoff Shreeves; Sir Alex mentioned something about a cult. I`m praying that the Villa beat Everton at 7/5.

This week`s accer is so eye-opening, I`ve finally realised that the secret to happiness was right in front of me all along; I live across the road from an off-license. Charlton, Newcastle, Tottenham and Aston Villa are the selections, the 17/1 payout will cover the cost of a crate of enlightenment.

Weekend Betting:

Liverpool v Arsenal
Saturday 31st March 12:45
Live on Sky

Liverpool 5/4
Draw 9/4
Arsenal 23/10

Get on: Arsenal

Match Special:
Baptista to score from outside the penalty area 7/1

Bolton v Sheff Utd
Saturday 31st March 15:00

Bolton 4/6
Draw 5/2
Sheff Utd 9/2

Get on: Bolton

Match Special:
Bolton to win and keep a clean sheet 17/10

Charlton v Wigan
Saturday 31st March 15:00

Charlton 6/5
Draw 23/10
Wigan 12/5

Get on: Charlton

Match Special:
Darren Bent to score two or more goals 11/2

Fulham v Portsmouth
Saturday 31st March 15:00

Fulham 5/4
Draw 9/4
Portsmouth 11/5

Get on: Fulham

Match Special:
Bouba Diop to score with a header 12/1

Man Utd v Blackburn
Saturday 31st March 15:00

Man Utd 1/3
Draw 4/1
Blackburn 19/2

Get on: Man Utd

Match Special:
Scholes to score at any time 11/4

Newcastle v Man City
Saturday 31st March 15:00

Newcastle 21/20
Draw 23/10
Man City 3/1

Get on: Newcastle

Match Special:
Martins to score the only goal of the game 25/1

West Ham v Middlesbrough Saturday 31st March 15:00

West Ham 5/4
Draw 23/10
Middlesbrough 9/4

Get on: Draw

Match Special:
Match to finish 1-1 or 2-2 7/2

Watford v Chelsea
Saturday 31st March 17:15
Live on Premiership Plus

Watford 9/1
Draw 7/2
Chelsea 1/3

Get on: Chelsea

Match Special:
Shevchenko to score a hat-trick 25/1
Tottenham v Reading
Sunday 1st April 16:00 Live on Sky

Tottenham 4/5
Draw 12/5
Reading 4/1

Get on: Tottenham

Match Special:
Berbatov to score the first goal 5/1

Aston Villa v Everton
Monday 2nd April 20:00
Live on Sky

Aston Villa 7/5
Draw 9/4
Everton 2/1

Get on: Aston Villa

Match Special:
Carew to score in a 2-0 Villa win 17/1

By Gerry McDonnell

Win FREE pizza with Vital Football!
Select your team and get 50% off if they score twice.
www.papajohns.co.uk/football


Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Site Staff
Date:Thursday March 29 2007
Time: 10:42AM

Best of Vital Network

Comments

0
A Charlton win would put the cat amonst the pigoens for us. I hope we win, but it will depend on how Everton line up for this one, we can't score goals. After the dismal display against Fulham and Liverpool: Heart says home win, head says another draw.
tarzan
29/03/2007 11:58:00
0
agreed, thought we were over all this looking at others results, but we sure as heck aren't yet! Two more wins and we'd be fine, but 2 wins in 18 (?) might suggest 2 more wins aren't due?
The Fear
29/03/2007 14:15:00
0
2 in 19.
The Fear
29/03/2007 14:39:00
0
oh right, thanks for correcting me.
The Fear
29/03/2007 14:39:00
0
pleasure
The Fear
29/03/2007 14:39:00
0
you smug ********
The Fear
29/03/2007 14:40:00
0
charming, was only trying to help.
The Fear
29/03/2007 14:40:00
0
NURSE
The Fear
29/03/2007 14:40:00
0
His best article yet. Great stuff. Villa to beat Everton? I'm not so sure. Where are the goals coming from?
glensider
29/03/2007 15:53:00
0
Indeedy Glensider, needs our midfield to turn up for once!
tarzan
29/03/2007 16:50:00
Page 1/2
  1. 1
  2. 2

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Okore On His Way - And Amavi?

Jores Okore is safely edging his bets about his future at Aston Villa following relegation, and French left back Jordan Amavi is being linked with a loan away...

Laursen Reflects On His Time At Villa

Martin Laursen has reflected on the time he spent at Villa Park, and been speaking of his memories of late.

SO! What Does Aston Villa Need From The Takeover??

So... what does Aston Villa need with regards to the takeover?

Some Very Positive Talk From Tony Xia On Takeover

Some nice positive quotes and talk from Tony Xia on the takeover of Aston Villa...

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Roberto Di Matteo would be:
Suggested By: JP Fear
A great appointment26%
A good appointment but I'd prefer a.n.other40%
An average appointment21%
No thanks appointment!13%
ScoopDragon Premier League Network Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
C Leicester City 38 23 12 3 81 32
2 Arsenal 38 20 11 7 71 29
3 Spurs 38 19 13 6 70 34
4 Man City 38 19 9 10 66 30
5 Man Utd 38 19 9 10 66 14
6 Southampton 38 18 9 11 63 18
7 West Ham 38 16 14 8 62 14
8 Liverpool 38 16 12 10 60 13
9 Stoke 38 14 9 15 51 -14
10 Chelsea 38 12 14 12 50 6
11 Everton 38 11 14 13 47 4
12 Swansea 38 12 11 15 47 -10
13 Watford 38 12 9 17 45 -10
14 WBA 38 10 13 15 43 -14
15 Crystal Palace 38 11 9 18 42 -12
16 AFC Bournemouth 38 11 9 18 42 -22
17 Sunderland 38 9 12 17 39 -14
R Newcastle 38 9 10 19 37 -21
R Norwich 38 9 7 22 34 -28
R Aston Villa 38 3 8 27 17 -49
The Vital Football Members League
Latest F1 News
2016 Monaco GP - FP2
Latest Vital Boxing News
Eubank Jnr in Goodwill Gesture
Vital Football Comment

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.Pride of Lions813
2.The Fear476
3.kefkat340
4.sirdennis290
5.Lerner Out!250
6.Fulford239
7.JuanPabloAngel225
8.glensider205
9.DeanoVilla172
10.Silhillvilla158
Write for Vital Football