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Where Is Ashley Young's Song?

I have often pondered the genesis of terrace chants in honour of footballers. Who gets to play superstar DJ and decide which tune and lyrics fit the bill for a recent signing or a new boy up from the youth team?

Perhaps a few of the more vocal of the support decide in the pub beforehand and repeat it relentlessly until it has diffused through the assembled masses on the Holte. Or maybe someone is brave enough (or harder than anyone else who tries) to take the decision, and is noisily seconded by his peers. Might it be the invisible hand – the accumulated preferences of the Villa crowd picking a winner from many competing versions, each creator nursing a long-held ambition to join the ranks of football’s troubadours? I also remember once seeing a Sky Sports News interview with a fat bloke in a pub who apparently was writing songs for Liverpool fans - the Scouse listened for his words and revered him like a big fat Scouse prophet. However, I’m not aware of any Astonian equivalent (song writers that is, not fat blokes in pubs).

Whatever the process, we seem to have gone through a bit of a creative renaissance recently. After about ten years in which pretty much everybody who possibly could got given 'there's only one Gareth Southgate / Ian Taylor / Mellberg', to the extent that we even shoehorned Juan Pablo Angel's name into it the format, our current front two have fine tributes rolling forth from the stands (though I would have loved my brother's suggestion of 'Doctorin the Tardis' to have caught on for John Carew. It would have sounded great on the pre-match tannoy, and comes with added fan-friendly grunty ooh-ah quality. But the current 'bigger than me and you' choice does just fine, not least because at least one of the lines must be factually accurate at least 99.9% of the time, an unusual achievement for the genre).

It is also noteworthy that usually only the biggest players get a chant straightaway. Collymore was one that springs to mind, and he came with ready-made effort. It's possible the above processes have to run their course before a song takes hold for a less well-known new boy. But there also seems to be a performance-related element, whereby, quite rightly, a player has to prove his worth before being honoured with the Holte's voice. Again, the means by which this assessment of merit is made is beyond me. Scoring and making goals of course provides obvious impetus.

Which brings me on to my reason for writing. WHERE THE HELL IS ASHLEY YOUNG'S SONG???!!!

Ashley is without doubt the best winger I have seen at Villa (in my view he is better than Daley, and I am a bit too young for Morley). At present he is our team's most exciting and potent creative force. As valuable as Barry is to the way that Villa play, I can't help but be thankful that Liverpool can’t have noticed Ashley's performances, since he seems to be far more what Liverpool need right now. His delivery is superb. He also seems to be getting better and better, and is increasingly a goal threat in his own right. He also has a great attitude - he puts the work in - and when Man City, showing in typical 'Sparky'-style, tried to kick him out of the game, he got back up, kept going, and planted a superb ball onto Carew's head for the opener.

And yet, on Sunday, from where I was sitting in the Holte, Salifou had his name chanted more times than Ashley. I have nothing against Salifou, but I can't help but feel this is an injustice. And we pinched that idea from Liverpool's song for Harry Kewell, probably from that fat scouser in the pub.

So what is the problem? Indecision? Writer’s block? Lack of consensus? 'There's only one Ashley Yo-ung' doesn't quite work, so the obvious contender is ruled out. It’s not as though his moniker doesn’t offer a host of pop songs to plunder – for example, we might consider continuing Villa Park’s Gabby-inspired 80’s pop revival by doctoring Young Guns by Wham. It can't be a rhyme thing - Young is hardly Agbonlahor, and we managed at least a half-rhyme there (sort of - in any case it’s funny so it’s fine).

I must confess that while I think an awful lot of Ashley - as is obvious - there is a part of me that is scared to get too attached for fear of later hurt. Not sure whether this says something about me, modern football, or Villa's place in the order, but I am haunted by Aidy Boothroyd's comment when we signed Ashley - that if he continued to progress as he expected Villa wouldn't hang on to him for long anyway. A self-consoling crumb of comfort, understandably motivated by frustration at losing his one talented player perhaps, but it is hard to disagree with him. News of a new contract and associated ‘love this club’ noises are of course welcome, but I think you would have to be born yesterday to think that contracts guarantee a thing in modern football, apart maybe from a transfer fee, and even then, I wouldn't put my mortgage on the current system lasting too long (sadly, the contractual arrangements underpinning mortgages seem eminently enforceable).

But one thing I most certainly do not want to happen is that we hasten Ashley’s departure by failing to show him due adoration and respect. Yes, I know this got us nowhere with Barry, but we have do something, otherwise we supporters would be totally insignificant wouldn’t we? Maybe don’t answer that.

Maybe he'll read these words - we all know Ashley likes to look for love on the internet. But if not, Holte, hear my plea – I don’t care how it happens but just get Ashley a song!!
And finally...

One way I'm pretty sure songs aren’t popularised is by circulation on the internet (unless you're Sandi Thom, and surely no-one thinks that was a good idea). But, just as a starter for ten, I thought I would pen a tribute of my own. I'm not sure whether this might be self-defeating, given that 40,000 people singing about him getting caught in the act might not be the best encouragement to stay true to the claret and blue. But I amused myself, which I take as good enough reason to share. Further verses welcome.

The skill, the pace
He's big in cyberspace
Ashley Young, Ashley Young

He's small, he's quick
He loves to point and click
Ashley Young, Ashley Young

He plays, left wing
Webcams are his thing
Ashley Young, Ashley Young

mdr_villa






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The Journalist

Writer: Marc Rooney Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Thursday August 21 2008

Time: 7:49AM

Your Comments

don't think you want to chant that for him ha.
los_angeles_villan
Good article even if the songs at the end would probably send him packing. Lets save them for if he leaves
TuBBz
Chants are a funny thing, what i find amazing is how when a player moves clubs he doesnt take his chants with him, i.e Yorke's New York song has not be sung since, Crouch's Rodney Trotter song has not been sung since. Even Reo-Coker's Hokey Cokey Cokey doesnt seem to have been used by us!! As for are the chants started by a brave few I dont know, i travelled to 2 Hull City games with my mates last season including the play-off final and we attempted a song Brown, Brown, Turner and Brown (to the Status Quo song - Down Down Deeper and Down) to no avail, we sang it over and over again and no-one joined, however someone did mention it a match report on a forum that mate uses, so it didnt go un-noticed!!! As for your Ashley song, i think not, but keep trying!!
young_jonah
na na na na na na na na na na, ashley ashley young, ashley young, ashley ashley youuuung!!! small section of us sing it, guess its not caught on yet!
cat_shafton
He plays on the left, he plays on the riiiiiggggghhhtttt, that boy Ashley he's as fast as *****e! To the tune of Manures Ronaldo chant. Ok borrowed chant but so what if it catches on. UTV.
holte ender 1969
****e = alternative word to poo. Not that Ash is but you know what I mean when you go with the above chant.........ah well where's me coat!
holte ender 1969
I was at the Reading game last season for Salifous debut and I have no idea how a 92nd minute substitute had a chant...
simonbigron
How about using the tune to "She'll be coming 'round the mountain when she comes" with the words: He'll be skipping down the left wing when he comes, He'll be skipping down the right wing when he comes, He'll be splittin' through the middle, with every special dribble, We call him Ashley Young, Ashley Young.
Man Of Pi
I thought the Village People had already released a song about our Young Man
Hoss The Villain
man of pi. thats great!!
bobbyfett
Yes, I like that one Man Of Pi. Very good. Can someone remind me what the webcam thing was about again please???
Villan-in-Cyprus
Not all songs give praise, for instance Arsenal to RVP. To the tune of Artful Dodger Rewind.... "Robin Van Persie, When the girls say no, Mol *st em" So For Mr Young what about, to the tune of crossroads...... "I'll see you on the left wing, right wing, webcam...... see you on the left wing, right wing, Web cam" Its worth a punt! UTV
jaypeevilla
He's fast, he's quick, he likes to flash his d*ck, Ashley Young, Ashley Young!
IanSymes
like it man of pi, what was the webcam thing all about??
jayvilla
Verse I: Ashley Young, Ashley Young Running Down The Wing Ashley Young, Ashley Young Running Down The Wing Feared By Small Heath, Loved By The Holte Ashley Young, Ashley Young, Ashley Young Verse II Ashley Young, Ashley Young Everywhere he goes Ashley Young, Ashley Young Up and down he goes Feared by Your de-fence... Loves the In-ter-net Ashley Young, Ashley Young, Ashley Young
JeffBeck-TheLeftSide
To the tune of Robin Hood..Man Utd obviously sing the Ryan Giggs equivalent but they stole our 'my old man song' (and then try and make out it was there's) so they can run.
JeffBeck-TheLeftSide
hows about tubthumping by chumbawumba 'he gets knocked down, but he gets up again, u aint ever gonna keep him down.he gets knocked down, but he gets up again, u aint ever gonna keep him down. oh ashley young! ashley young! ashley young!'
Upthevilla_83
To sing hosana, hope ya die in your sleep rafa benitez, i hope you die in your sleep i pray, hope you die in your sleep rafa benitez and keep your hands of gareth baaaarry
B6_COMPANY
How about a simple 'Ashley Young is *****in brilliant' to the same tune as 'You're goin home in a effin ambulance' ? Factually correct and includes a swear word (always a big pull) :-)
bassettmax
Sorry not about ash but had to be said !!
B6_COMPANY
sorry but what the devil is this webcam business? or dare i ask?
ric112
google "ashley young & webcam" - tis good for a laugh. but im not sure remindin the little legend of his internet antics is a good way of persuading him to stay at VP for as long as poss. man of pi's is a splendid effort but i must say my personal criteria for a good chant are simplicity & humour and as bassettmax says the odd swear word is always a winner so bassettmax's gets my vote unless someone has a better offering...
lurman
I agree a song of the calibre of gabbys has to be brought into play for young,I will have a think.
lerneravfc
i always liked the... He's small, He's quick, He's got a 12inch dick, Ashley younnnnng, Ashley youuuung.
Cubos
Tony Morley wasn't deemed worthy of his own song, but Willie Anderson most certainly was, and add Ashley into the mix and they are certainly the best of the left wing flyers that I've witnessed at B6 in my time. Surely we've got some budding Lennon and McCartney's out there?
glensider
The oldies are the goldies. Why not the old Barrie Hole song? He's here, He's there, He's every *****in where.. Ashley Young, Ashley Young. A few renditions of this and it will have the opposition players quaking in their boots!!!
TheQ.
Mind you...I've just remembered the 2nd verse...He's shot, He's missed, He must be *****in *****ed, .....
TheQ.
Like that Q have to redo the second verse, He's here, He's there, He's every *****in where.. Ashley Young, Ashley Young. He shoots , he scores, he likes to flash indoors, Ashley Young, Ashley Young.
steff_the_villan
steff_the_villan, lol! Brilliant, punchy, factual and lighthearted piff taking.
holte ender 1969
Anyone know the song 'Tracey Jacks' by Blur? To that tune we sing: [Ashley Young] He tears down the left wing [Ashley Young] he tears down the right wing [Ashley Young] Cuts in without warning [Ashley Young] Oh you can't stop him from scoring!
YatesyVillain
 

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