Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

Ignore Sunderland, Sit Down

Ignore Sunderland, Sit Down

Birmingham City Council have warned Aston Villa that the ground could be closed if supporters continue to stand.

Yes that's right folks, forget crime, murder, the ridiculous Government, somkers, drinkers and people who like 4x4's.

We have a new menace. Fans who stand.

I had to type that slowly, simply is the power of the deliquents and the fear that the word 'stand' invokes in us all.

Are fans who stand the 'new Chavs' or 'hoodies'? People will be panicking in their homes and refuse to leave the house during kick off times for the fear of accidently catching sight of the new menace.

Another cracking find by the 'Elf and Safety' Police - when do these people sleep, surely it's a 24 hour job to keep up with risk assessments to protect us from ourselves.

Afterall, it's a given isn't it. A fan standing will automatically throw themselves down the steps or across the rows of other fans. They can't just stand there and watch the game - no, they must be planning to hurt us all.

Standing fans are the 'Terrorists of the Age of Fandom'.

Anyway, in a meeting between John Handley, head of safety and security and our loveable Council, the club were warned that the ground could face closure next season if the 'orrible standing fans don't use their bums more often.

Speaking to the E+S, Handley said:

"The Holte holds 13,000 people and we`re talking about a section of 1,000 seats in the upper Holte, K block.

"We`re addressing the problem of fans standing in that area.

"Standing is permitted at times of excitement such as when a goal is scored or when a player is cautioned, but these people resist every attempt to get them to sit down."

I'm sure John has better things to do but in this nanny state we live in it's not like he has any choice.

So fans in the upper Holte, K block, do John a favour and let him get on with things far more fun than talking to the Council eh.

Yes, I am trying to avoid anything match related tonight!



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Join the Vital Fantasy Football League - its Free!

Writer:Mike Field
Date:Saturday March 22 2008
Time: 7:51PM

Comments

0
we live in real danger, thank god we have councilers, politicians and liberly wishy doo gooders to look after us all.

Remember the savage times when you were able to have a drink, take in a bottle top lid, cheer and stand up? I shudder at the awful risks we all took.

I think they should go one further and wrap us all in cotton wool before we enter the arena, make sure we are safe. Also the ball should be foam in case it hits any of us and maybe the refs whistle should be changed for a little flag because the decibels of the whistle could be doing untold damage.
The Fear
22/03/2008 20:00:00
0
Lets just hope the gnomes at the council dont take umbridge at people cheering when the team scores. The wearing of football shirts at football matches could replace smashing old ladies over the head for their pension, the council should remember what Aston Villa brings to the city of Birmingham, regular Premiership football season after season.
col8
22/03/2008 21:20:00
0
Is this why the team have stopped trying to get us excited ? So we don`t inevitably perish ?
ASPINALL
23/03/2008 07:33:00
0
Fans that stand are obviously a bigger threat than Al-Qaeda. :-P I am half expecting seat belts to be fitted to all seats and ear plugs to become compulsory as I am sure if a noise assessment was carried out it would be far too loud. How on earth did we ever manage back in 1946 when over 76 000 fans were crammed in Villa Park. The world's gone bloody mad!!
DoLpHiNaToR
23/03/2008 09:52:00
0
one word - PATHETIC!
JeffBeck-TheLeftSide
23/03/2008 11:30:00
0
Laws are laws are guess, and the Council is only going by the book, but even so.
glensider
25/03/2008 01:24:00
0
Sooner or later though, this anti-supporter age that we live in, everything included, t.v., wierd kick off times, can do's/cant do's etc etc., is really going to push the regular attendee to the brink. When attendances start dropping, hopefully the F.A. wont feel the need to ask why.
glensider
27/03/2008 16:43:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Elphick's Superstitions To Continue

New centre half Tommy Elphick has insisted his pre match ritual of attacking the goal posts instead of having a team photo will continue following his move to Aston Villa.

No Sinclair To Celtic - But Crespo Off

It's being reported that Aston Villa have rejected a £2million offer from Celtic for Scott Sinclair, but Jose Angel Crespo wants the 'PAOK' option to bring an end to his time with us.

Petrov To Resume Villa Training

Aston Villa have confirmed that Stiliyan Petrov will join up with the boys for pre season training, and he's been invited by new manager Roberto Di Matteo to join...

Elphick Relishing Promotion Pressure

New signing, and Roberto Di Matteo's first capture from Bournemouth, Tommy Elphick has said he's relishing the pressure of helping Aston Villa return...

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Elphick?
Suggested By: JP Fear
Great, solid signing80%
Ok signing5%
Meh signing15%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
C Burnley 46 26 15 5 93 37
P Middlesbrough 46 26 11 9 89 32
3 Brighton 46 24 17 5 89 30
4 Hull City 46 24 11 11 83 34
5 Derby County 46 21 15 10 78 23
6 Sheff Wed 46 19 17 10 74 21
7 Ipswich 46 18 15 13 69 2
8 Cardiff 46 17 17 12 68 5
9 Brentford 46 19 8 19 65 5
10 Birmingham 46 16 15 15 63 4
11 Preston 46 15 17 14 62 0
12 Q.P.R. 46 14 18 14 60 0
13 Leeds Utd 46 14 17 15 59 -8
14 Wolves 46 14 16 16 58 -5
15 Blackburn 46 13 16 17 55 0
16 Forest 46 13 16 17 55 -4
17 Reading 46 13 13 20 52 -7
18 Bristol City 46 13 13 20 52 -17
19 Huddersfield 46 13 12 21 51 -11
20 Fulham 46 12 15 19 51 -13
21 Rotherham 46 13 10 23 49 -18
R Charlton 46 9 13 24 40 -40
R MK Dons 46 9 12 25 39 -30
R Bolton 46 5 15 26 30 -40
Write for Vital Football
Latest F1 News
Sainz expected to stay with Red Bull stable
Latest Vital Boxing News
Liam Smith Next up for Saul ‘Canelo’ Alvarez
The Vital Football Members League

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.The Fear365
2.BodyButter153
3.sirdennis152
4.Fulford135
5.JuanPabloAngel112
6.kefkat101
7.DeanoVilla89
8.glensider89
9.Melon Donkey76
10.Silhillvilla70
Vital Football Comment