Writer: Mike Field
Date:Saturday March 22 2008
Birmingham City Council have warned Aston Villa that the ground could be closed if supporters continue to stand.
Yes that's right folks, forget crime, murder, the ridiculous Government, somkers, drinkers and people who like 4x4's.
We have a new menace. Fans who stand.
I had to type that slowly, simply is the power of the deliquents and the fear that the word 'stand' invokes in us all.
Are fans who stand the 'new Chavs' or 'hoodies'? People will be panicking in their homes and refuse to leave the house during kick off times for the fear of accidently catching sight of the new menace.
Another cracking find by the 'Elf and Safety' Police - when do these people sleep, surely it's a 24 hour job to keep up with risk assessments to protect us from ourselves.
Afterall, it's a given isn't it. A fan standing will automatically throw themselves down the steps or across the rows of other fans. They can't just stand there and watch the game - no, they must be planning to hurt us all.
Standing fans are the 'Terrorists of the Age of Fandom'.
Anyway, in a meeting between John Handley, head of safety and security and our loveable Council, the club were warned that the ground could face closure next season if the 'orrible standing fans don't use their bums more often.
Speaking to the E+S, Handley said:
"The Holte holds 13,000 people and we`re talking about a section of 1,000 seats in the upper Holte, K block.
"We`re addressing the problem of fans standing in that area.
"Standing is permitted at times of excitement such as when a goal is scored or when a player is cautioned, but these people resist every attempt to get them to sit down."
I'm sure John has better things to do but in this nanny state we live in it's not like he has any choice.
So fans in the upper Holte, K block, do John a favour and let him get on with things far more fun than talking to the Council eh.
Yes, I am trying to avoid anything match related tonight!
Date:Saturday March 22 2008
The Villa Times - 23/05/2013 (Thursday May 23 2013)
The Vital Villa Player Of The Season Is... (Thursday May 23 2013)
Bumper Transfer News - SOME Inward! (Thursday May 23 2013)
New Contracts? Better Deals? It's Only Money!! (Thursday May 23 2013)
Petrov Delighted With Assistant Coach Role (Wednesday May 22 2013)
Broadcasting Revenue For AVFC For 2012/13 Season (Wednesday May 22 2013)
N'Zogbia Exit And £5m Given To Keeper? (Wednesday May 22 2013)
Villa's Pre Season Schedule (Tuesday May 21 2013)
Vlaar Pleased With First Good Touch Of The Game (Tuesday May 21 2013)
Villa Season Ticket Help Sessions (Tuesday May 21 2013)
|1.||Pride of Lions||1030|
|Man Utd||3||-||0||Aston Villa|
|15. Aston Villa||38||10||11||17||-22||41|
|Stoke reject Nzonzi transfer request
» Stoke : 24/05/2013 00:46:00
|10th or Else
» Newcastle : 23/05/2013 21:52:00
|Liverpool: Reds To Iago For Aspas
» Liverpool : 23/05/2013 19:51:00
|Saints Elite Centre Still Has Places Available
» Southampton : 23/05/2013 18:47:00
|The Villa Times - 23/05/2013
» Aston Villa : 23/05/2013 18:07:00
|Managerial Odds Update
» Stoke : 23/05/2013 18:01:00
|Pulis Thanks Fans
» Stoke : 23/05/2013 17:53:00