Writer: J P Fear
Date:Sunday January 20 2008
(No) Reports today are linking Aston Vanilla with a shock move for former Manchester United striker Ruud van Nistelrooy.
The Real Madrid striker, who has 36 goals in 54 games for the Spanish giants, is said to be bored of life in sunny Spain and craves life in Aston.
The players wife has apparently been spotted not only looking at houses in Castle Vale and Spark Brook but also has been photographed shopping in Aldi and Matalan. She is apparently excited at the prospect of shunning the many boutiques in Spain and sampling the delights of TK Maxx.
A source close to the player (when I say close I mean about 2000 miles away and having never met him) is quoted as saying 'Ruud can't wait as he loves to see his name quoted in the papers'.
Apparently Martin O'Neill has met with the player in an exclusive restaurant in Sutton Coldfield called McDonalds and was impressed with the enthusiasm from the striker but was apparently put off his food by looking at what can only be described as a horseface whilst attempting to eat.
According to some reports General Charles Krulak has threatened to storm the bastions of the Bernabéu if the striker refuses to sign a deal with us.
We at Vital Vanilla will of course keep you up to date with any non-developments and by the end of the week will be printed quotes from the player saying that he has never even been to McDonalds and his wife hasn't in fact shopped at Matalan. To date there is no denials from the Horseface camp that they have indeed shopped at Aldi.
(Or in other words, the transfer window hasn't shut as yet, lets not panic!)
Date:Sunday January 20 2008
Lambert - Ron Remains A Doubt (Thursday September 18 2014)
Guzan - Villa Park Will Be Rocking (Thursday September 18 2014)
Lambert Speaks Following Contract Extension (Wednesday September 17 2014)
Paul Lambert Extends Villa Stay (Wednesday September 17 2014)
Robinson Loaned To Preston (Tuesday September 16 2014)
Hutton - I Want To Take This Opportunity (Tuesday September 16 2014)
Bombshell - Hutton Signs Three Year Deal (Tuesday September 16 2014)
Senderos In Team Of The Week Nod (Monday September 15 2014)
Senderos & Gabby Respond To Liverpool Win (Monday September 15 2014)
Benteke Returns To Full Training (Sunday September 14 2014)
|2.||Pride of Lions||506|
|5.||Villan Of The North||216|
|Aston Villa||2||-||1||Hull City|
|2. Aston Villa||4||3||1||0||+3||10|
|5. Man City||4||2||1||1||+3||7|
|Everton showed clinical touch
» Everton : 19/09/2014 10:13:00
|Vital Preview: West Ham United vs. Liverpool
» Liverpool : 19/09/2014 09:00:00
|United Target is Staying in Milan!
» Man Utd : 19/09/2014 07:48:00
|Only Fools and Donkeys!
» Spurs : 19/09/2014 07:41:00
|3cm That Is Your Lot!
» Chelsea : 19/09/2014 07:39:00