Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

Gone in 64 seconds

Gone in 64 seconds

Gone in 64 seconds!

I’m feeling a little bit inadequate. Apparently, a normal male averages 20 minutes when expressing his love physically; I’m assuming that includes the taxi journey and the queue for the cashpoint.

My haste is a blessing in disguise for the wife, as she’s on the phone to her mother every 15 minutes. Her old dear doesn’t want to hear my shrieking voice; again.

On the subject of hidden blessings, Arsenal may well benefit from the absence of Thierry Henry. The Gunners have looked a more cohesive unit without their talismanic captain this season, the 4/1 about an Arsenal win at the Bridge should be jumped on; but not for too long.

Robin Van Persie can open the scoring at 17/2. The little Dutchman’s left foot is so cultured; it can often be found sipping Pimms with Graeme Le Saux at the theatre.

Sir Alex believes that his United team are on the verge of greatness, Wayne Rooney may have toppled over the edge. The circular forward can inspire United to derby day domination at 4/11.

It’s rumoured that Cristiano Ronaldo has been offered the lead role in a remake of the Michael Douglas classic, ‘Falling Down’. The collapsible winger should be backed to score at any time at 9/4.

Biscuit magnate Eggert Magnusson has told the press that Alan Pardew’s throat will be cut if West Ham fail to perform; he’s one touch cookie. West Ham can snatch a point at the Reebok at 9/4. Nice.

Newcastle United and Robbie Savage have a lot in common, they’re both awful travellers. Somewhat surprisingly, the Toon Army have only tasted defeat at Ewood Park on one of their last eight visits; a Savage led Blackburn can buck that trend at 6/5.

Paul Jewell did a ‘Baldrick’ in the summer when he bought Emile Heskey, I now expect him to do ‘a Blackadder’ and take advantage of a rotten Boro. Wigan can leave the Riverside with three points at 13/5.

Pompey and Everton shared 1-0 wins in last season’s meet-ups, but ‘no goalscorer’ paid out in both matches. Only the betting na├»ve (like Harry ‘what’s a computer’ Redknapp) back a 0-0 scoreline. The ‘No goalscorer’ hat-trick is in play at 8/1.

Tottenham’s treatment of Jermain Defoe has left me as bemused as Monty Panesar. What could Defoe have done to deserve such shoddy treatment? Perhaps he spiked his spinach or sent Olive Oyl suggestive text messages. Spurs can beat up Charlton at 4/7, with or without the miniscule goal machine.

The wife is a big fan of Reading; she’s supported them ever since her English teacher wrote ‘reading difficulties’ on her school report. She’s backing the Royals at 13/8 to see off Watford; if I write out the betting slip.

It was odd to hear Neil Warnock begin a sentence with ‘I’m a bit like Arsene Wenger,’ as he questioned the Premier League’s schedule. That’s like the wife claiming to be ‘a bit like Madonna’ because she sings after lovemaking. I’m mad on a Villa win at Bramall Lane at 8/5.

Sheikh Mohammed may sound like a BNP policy, but he’s potentially the new owner of Liverpool FC. The billionaire is normally associated with the glamorous world of horse racing, where he can often be found discussing opera with Robin Van Persie’s left peg. The Reds have an easy looking match at home to Fulham, dive into the Pool at 4/11.

Man Utd, Blackburn, Liverpool, Tottenham and a Pompey draw are the virtually guaranteed selections for an 18/1 accer. Admittedly, it’s never over ‘til the fat lady sings; in my house, that’s normally after 64 seconds.

Weekend Betting:

Man Utd v Man City Saturday 9th December 12:45
Live on Premiership Plus

Man Utd 4/11
Draw 10/3
Man City 9/1

Get on: Man Utd

Match Special:
Ronaldo to be booked for diving 9/1

Blackburn v Newcastle
Saturday 9th December 15:00

Blackburn 6/5
Draw 9/4
Newcastle 11/4

Get on: Blackburn

Match Special:
Blackburn to score three or more goals 4/1

Liverpool v Fulham Saturday 9th December 15:00

Liverpool 4/11
Draw 7/2
Fulham 17/2

Get on: Liverpool

Match Special:
Bellamy to score two or more goals 5/1

Middlesbrough v Wigan
Saturday 9th December 15:00

Middlesbrough 6/5
Draw 9/4
Wigan 13/5

Get on: Wigan

Match Special:
Camara to score the only goal of the game 50/1

Portsmouth v Everton
Saturday 9th December 15:00

Portsmouth 6/5
Draw 9/4
Everton 9/4

Get on: Draw

Match Special:
No goalscorer in the match 8/1

Tottenham v Charlton
Saturday 9th December 15:00

Tottenham 4/7
Draw 3/1
Charlton 11/2

Get on: Tottenham

Match Special:
Berbatov to score from outside the area 9/2

Watford v Reading
Saturday 9th December 15:00

Watford 13/8
Draw 9/4
Reading 13/8

Get on: Reading

Match Special:
Doyle to score the first goal 11/2

Bolton v West Ham
Saturday 9th December 17:15
Live on Premiership Plus

Bolton 10/11
Draw 9/4
West Ham 7/2

Get on: Draw

Match Special:
Tevez to score in a 1-1 draw 20/1

Chelsea v Arsenal
Sunday 10th December 16:00
Live on Sky

Chelsea 8/11
Draw 12/5
Arsenal 4/1

Get on: Arsenal

Match Special:
Van Persie to score direct from a free-kick 10/1

Sheff Utd v Aston Villa
Monday 11th December 20:00
Live on Sky

Sheff Utd 2/1
Draw 9/4
Aston Villa 8/5

Get on: Aston Villa

Match Special:
Villa to score a penalty 6/1

By Gerry McDonnell


Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:J P Fear
Date:Thursday December 7 2006
Time: 10:22AM

Comments

0
we are the penalties kings now, makes up for all thise dodgy ones last season
son_of_cher
07/12/2006 10:53:00
0
No Barry in the team though if we do win a pen. Please, please, please don't let JPA take it!!
jonah
07/12/2006 11:16:00
0
You know he will though. I think possibly another draw on the cards here. 'Bout time Warnock had a major premiership blow up. He's been relatively calm so far this season. Maybe blow his top when we are given that penalty.
glensider
07/12/2006 16:00:00
0
Looking forward to going back up to Bramall Lane. Put the record straight following our F.A. Cup humiliation.
glensider
13/03/2007 08:47:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Another Villa Defender Bombed Out - Collective Whoop!

GONE, GONE... Joleon Lescott has GONE

Villa Fan In Optimism Shocker

Reasons to hold on to optimism whilst looking at the reality of the situation.

2016/17 Transfer Deadline - A Few Days Remain

Well it's almost that time of the year again, only a final few days to go before the closure of the summer transfer window for 2016/17, and with the international break...

Audio - RDM On Bristol City

Manager Roberto Di Matteo has spoken of his disappointment at seeing Aston Villa lose the game against Bristol City yesterday.

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Bristol City MotM
Suggested By: Site Staff
Gollini4%
de Laet2%
Elphick2%
Chester4%
Cissokho0%
Bacuna4%
Jedinak2%
Westwood2%
Grealish66%
McCormack8%
Ayew2%
Sub - Amavi0%
Sub - Kozak4%
Sub - Green0%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Huddersfield 5 4 1 0 13 4
2 Fulham 5 3 2 0 11 3
3 Barnsley 5 3 0 2 9 4
4 Newcastle 5 3 0 2 9 4
5 Q.P.R. 5 3 0 2 9 3
6 Bristol City 5 3 0 2 9 2
7 Forest 5 3 0 2 9 0
8 Brighton 5 2 2 1 8 4
9 Wolves 5 2 2 1 8 3
10 Birmingham 5 2 2 1 8 2
11 Ipswich 5 2 2 1 8 1
12 Norwich 5 2 2 1 8 1
13 Burton 5 2 1 2 7 1
14 Brentford 5 2 1 2 7 1
15 Reading 5 2 1 2 7 -3
16 Aston Villa 5 1 2 2 5 0
17 Cardiff 5 1 2 2 5 -2
18 Derby County 5 1 2 2 5 -2
19 Sheff Wed 5 1 2 2 5 -3
20 Wigan 5 1 1 3 4 0
21 Leeds Utd 5 1 1 3 4 -4
22 Rotherham 5 1 1 3 4 -9
23 Preston 5 1 0 4 3 -2
24 Blackburn 5 0 1 4 1 -8
The Vital Football Members League
Latest F1 News
Rosberg wins but must leave disappointed
Latest Vital Boxing News
Chisora Offers to Fight Whyte
Vital Football Comment

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.The Fear726
2.glensider684
3.Fulford521
4.Silhillvilla250
5.sirdennis225
6.kefkat203
7.Stephen Jay Hawkings183
8.villasince67182
9.Melon Donkey172
10.DeanoVilla165
Write for Vital Football