Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

I pity the Newell

I pity the Newell

I pity the Newell


It’s easy to say the wrong thing. When the wife told me she’d received a fine for not wearing a seatbelt, I probably shouldn’t have responded with; “Why’s that then? Wouldn’t it fit?”

Mike Newell is in a similar boat. His controversial views on female officials have landed him in a spot of bother; but in my opinion, there could well be a nail with a pounding headache. It’s unfair to ask a woman to make crucial decisions less than 24 hours after an episode of Emmerdale.

All joking aside, Amy Rayner is more than capable. If I had to mark her performance using the binary scale, I’d give her ‘1’.

Is it a coincidence that Spurs are wearing a chocolate coloured kit now that women are running the line? (A lady will be less inclined to flag for offside if they’re contemplating a large dairy milk.) If you’re not cynical about the situation, you probably haven’t thought it through. There’s no need to ponder for too long on the outcome of the Blackburn v Tottenham match. Be a smarty; eat up the 8/5 about a home win.

Alan Pardew and Jose Mourinho are the undisputed kings of the goal celebration. Let’s hope there’s not a lady lino on duty when Chelsea face West Ham, or it could turn into a scene from ‘Saturday Night Fever’. The champions have too much for the Hammers; their title hopes will be stayin’ alive at 1/4.

Jose Mourinho has had a pop at the Chelsea fans, he’s accused them of being quieter than El Hadji Diouf’s wife. Chelsea supporters will have plenty to sing about if they cover the 2-0/3-0 correct scores at 5/2.

The word on the street is that Frank Lampard is to be offered a new deal worth £130,000 a week; that buys a whole lot of chicken wings. The Lamp has found the net in three of his last five games; he’s worth a nibble at 13/8 to score against his former employers.

It’s fair to say that Iain Dowie made an absolute ‘Desert Orchid’ of the Charlton job; sorry, I meant ‘dog’s dinner’. Charlton are bottom of the table and haven’t won in Reading for 25 years, the Royals should be backed at a majestic even money.

Finding Michael Jackson babysitting work is tough, finding Mike Newell a job at the equal opportunities commission is even tougher, but finding a winner in the Everton v Bolton match is proving nigh impossible. I can’t see past the draw at 9/4.

Sir Alex was far from happy when news broke that Keith Hackett had arranged a meeting with Jose Mourinho. Fergie’s voice reached such a high pitch, Mike Newell wanted him removed from the touchline. United have won on their last three visits to Bramall Lane without conceding a goal, I fancy a repeat at 11/10.

Gareth Southgate has led Boro up to 13th place in the Premiership, which makes him over-qualified for the position of England manager. Liverpool have won only two of their last eight league match-ups with Middlesbrough, and both of those were at Anfield. The Boro look a corking investment at 12/5 to triumph at the Riverside.

With the managerial merry-go-round now under way, Stuart Pearce must be sweating like Mike Newell at a feminist convention. Fulham must be backed at 12/5 to see off Man City.

The wife hates it when i make patronizing comments; the poor little lamb gets ever so upset. You’ll be screaming if you miss Aston Villa at 2/1 away to Wigan.

Let me just clarify, I am not a sexist; I enjoy conversations about cushions. Everybody’s talking about the 4/6 on offer for Pompey at home to Watford; it’s as tasty as a chicken tikka masala.

I had a lovely Indian on Wednesday night to celebrate England’s draw in Holland; her name was Sanjita. There was an immediate chemistry between us; Rohypnol. I’m loving Arsenal at 1/3 at home to Newcastle.

The argument for this week’s accer is so convincing, Mike Newell is reconsidering his hard-line stance on women’s rights. Arsenal, Chelsea, Portsmouth, Reading and an Everton draw are the five selections; you have the right to collect at a bra-burning 15/1.


Weekend Betting:

Man City v Fulham
Saturday 18th November 12:45
Live on Premiership Plus

Man City 6/5
Draw 9/4
Fulham 12/5

Get on: Fulham

Match Special:
Papa Bouba Diop to score with a header 9/1

Arsenal v Newcastle Saturday 18th November 15:00

Arsenal 1/3
Draw 4/1
Newcastle 10/1

Get on: Arsenal

Match Special:
Henry to score two or more goals 11/4

Chelsea v West Ham Saturday 18th November 15:00

Chelsea 1/4
Draw 9/2
West Ham 14/1

Get on: Chelsea

Match Special:
Frank Lampard to score from outside the penalty area 10/3

Everton v Bolton
Saturday 18th November 15:00

Everton 13/10
Draw 9/4
Bolton 2/1

Get on: Draw

Match Special:
No goalscorer in the game 8/1

Portsmouth v Watford
Saturday 18th November 15:00

Portsmouth 4/6
Draw 5/2
Watford 9/2

Get on: Portsmouth

Match Special:
Pedro Mendes to score at any time 5/1

Reading v Charlton Saturday 18th November 15:00

Reading Evs
Draw 9/4
Charlton 3/1

Get on: Reading

Match Special:
Reading to win and keep a clean sheet 2/1

Sheff Utd v Man Utd Saturday 18th November 15:00

Sheff Utd 8/1
Draw 7/2
Man Utd 4/11

Get on: Man Utd

Match Special:
Saha to score two or more goals 3/1

Middlesbrough v Liverpool Saturday 18th November 17:15
Live on Premiership Plus

Middlesbrough 12/5
Draw 9/4
Liverpool 6/5

Get on: Middlesbrough

Match Special:
Middlesbrough to win 1-0 8/1

Wigan v Aston Villa
Sunday 19th November 13:30
Live on Sky

Wigan 6/4
Draw 9/4
Aston Villa 2/1

Get on: Aston Villa

Match Special:
Chris Sutton to score the first goal 8/1

Blackburn v Tottenham
Sunday 19th November 16:00
Live on Sky

Blackburn 8/5
Draw 9/4
Tottenham 2/1

Get on: Blackburn

Match Special:
McCarthy to score the only goal of the game 33/1

By Gerry McDonnell


Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:J P Fear
Date:Thursday November 16 2006
Time: 11:28AM

Comments

0
Sad thing is we haven't had a female linesman yet to test the chocolate thory!!
BaldyYid
16/11/2006 11:40:00
0
Nice odds for Chris Sutton.
The Fear
16/11/2006 11:49:00
0
Greatest article title in history!!
Rocky7
16/11/2006 12:09:00
0
Keep women as far away as possible from Mens footy. It is fairly simple. Women do the womens game. Men do the mens game. If they are going to start mixing and matching it must go both ways. If women play in mens football, then men should be able to play in womens football. End of. Look at the ludicrous situation in golf where Michelle Wie (a bird for those that do not know) is allowed to play on the mens tour. However men are not allowed to play on the womens tour (because they would win, more men would join and that would be the end of womens golf). That is not equality. In fact I believe a good lawyer could prove that it is illegal. It either goes both ways or not at all. The question isn't wether they are good enough. They may well be. At the moment everybody is equal, unless of course you are a bird, then you are more equal than men. If this keeps up then it will not be long before women expect us to help around the house and in the kitchen!! Men play footy. Women run the bath and make sure there is a beer on the table when we get in. UTV
voiceoftheholte
16/11/2006 13:20:00
0
Arsenal ladies have a cracking left back who could do a job for us though!!!
mackaavfc
16/11/2006 18:10:00
0
sorry macaavfc, I think you'll find Ashley Cole buggered off to Chelsea
Godsvilla
16/11/2006 19:18:00
0
buggered. looks like another word that can slip through the filter. No chicks in football. Stamp it out now.
utv-sotc
16/11/2006 23:53:00
0
Er...earth to voiceoftheholte, Amy Scharner was match official in the game - I don't think you would have heard much out of Newell if Luton had been beaten by a team with a woman player! UP THE VILLA!
paranoid_ormandroyd
17/11/2006 12:53:00
0
apologies - I mean Amy Rayner
paranoid_ormandroyd
17/11/2006 12:54:00
0
There will come a time, and probably not too far into the future at that, when women officials will be par for the course.
glensider
17/11/2006 13:59:00
Page 1/2
  1. 1
  2. 2

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Kodjia Gets Player Of The Month Gong - Nov

Striker Jonathan Kodjia has been named the PFA Player of the Month winner for his efforts over the course of November, and manager Steve Bruce...

Bruce Previews Leeds Clash

Manager Steve Bruce has held his pre game press conference ahead of this weekend's clash against Leeds United.

Video Interview - Steve Bruce On Mind Blowing Xia Plans

Mind blowing plans for Aston Villa... nice!

Something For The Weekend (554)

Villa hope and faith requited...

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Villa v Leeds (away) will:
Suggested By: Mystic Mug
Win48%
Lose28%
Draw23%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Newcastle 19 13 1 5 40 21
2 Brighton 18 11 5 2 38 17
3 Reading 18 10 4 4 34 6
4 Birmingham 18 8 7 3 31 5
5 Leeds Utd 18 9 2 7 29 1
6 Huddersfield 18 9 2 7 29 -3
7 Sheff Wed 18 8 4 6 28 0
8 Norwich 18 8 3 7 27 -1
9 Derby County 18 7 5 6 26 3
10 Fulham 18 6 7 5 25 4
11 Aston Villa 18 5 10 3 25 3
12 Preston 18 7 4 7 25 2
13 Forest 19 7 4 8 25 1
14 Bristol City 18 7 3 8 24 2
15 Ipswich 18 6 6 6 24 0
16 Q.P.R. 19 6 5 8 23 -8
17 Brentford 18 6 4 8 22 3
18 Barnsley 18 6 4 8 22 0
19 Wolves 19 5 6 8 21 -3
20 Burton 18 4 7 7 19 -5
21 Blackburn 18 5 4 9 19 -7
22 Wigan 18 4 6 8 18 -4
23 Cardiff 18 5 3 10 18 -12
24 Rotherham 18 1 4 13 7 -25
The Vital Football Members League
Latest F1 News
What next for Mercedes?
Latest Vital Boxing News
BBBoC to Hold Hearing After Blackwell Incident
Vital Football Comment

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Dec 3 2016 5:30PM : Leeds United (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Dec 10 2016 3:00PM : Wigan Athletic (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Dec 13 2016 7:45PM : Norwich City (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Dec 18 2016 12:00PM : Queens Park Rangers (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Dec 26 2016 3:00PM : Burton Albion (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Dec 29 2016 7:45PM : Leeds United (H)
Sky Bet Championship

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.The Fear47
2.HeathfieldRoad187433
3.JuanPabloAngel33
4.sirdennis29
5.BodyButter21
6.TuBBz19
7.Wurzel19
8.DeanoVilla15
9.Stephen Jay Hawkings15
10.Melon Donkey12
Write for Vital Football