Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

Arsene! Coffee! (Prem Preview)

Arsene! Coffee! (Prem Preview)

Luck is an alien concept. At a recent fancy dress party to celebrate my father in law’s exit from the closet, the wife turned all ‘Paul Gascoigne’ on me. One minute, I was politely chatting to Britney Spears, the next thing I knew, the wife was repeatedly pommeling me with an oversized clown’s shoe. There’s nothing amusing about domestic violence.

Physical altercations have no place in the home and equally no place on the touchline. Only an Arsenal victory over Liverpool can save Rafa Benitez from an Arsene attack; the Gunners are a superb bet at 11/10 to knock out the Reds.

Peter Crouch is an optimist, he believes that Liverpool can still win the title. He probably also believes in the tooth fairy, or to use her Latin name, ‘Jermainus Defoe’. It’s over five years since the Scousers last won away at Arsenal, sink your teeth into a 2-0 win for the Gunners at 9/1.

Thierry Henry has asked the Arsenal fans not to leave before the final whistle. I’m not sure how it works in France, but most Englishmen struggle to last 90 minutes. Henry has scored five goals in his last two home appearances against the Pool, he can keep the fans satisfied by banging in the opener at 9/2.

If West Ham beat Middlesbrough, Alan Pardew has promised a more subdued celebration; possibly two jigs and a conga. The Hammers looks a fair investment at 5/2 to waltz away from the Riverside with three points.

Newcastle are in crisis and the Toon army are revolting. Nobody wants to kick a man when he’s down (although I can’t speak for Arsene Wenger) but the appointment of Roeder was flawed from the very beginning. Man City can stick the boot in at 11/10.

It was always going to be an uphill task for Watford to avoid defeat at Stamford Bridge, but without Marlon King, it’s like climbing Mount Everest with Frank Lampard in your rucksack. Chelsea will win, but there’s no value to be found at a top priced 1/6.

Ashley ‘I ain’t working for no £55,000 a week’ Cole believes that referees are ‘robbing’ Chelsea. His autobiography retails at £18.99; he definitely knows his subject matter. You can nick a few quid off the bookies by covering a 2-0/3-0/4-0 win for the champions at a much friendlier 6/4.

Aston Villa have only taken one point out of a possible fifteen at Goodison Park in recent seasons, but that was under David O’Leary, when they rolled over more than Andy Johnson. It’s a different ball game under Martin O’Neill; the draw looks a great shout at 9/4.

I’m certainly not an economist, but I believe that the divide between the north and the south has dramatically diminished. A West Ham fan could only spare 2p to throw at Robin Van Persie last week, yet an Everton supporter was more than happy to clobber Claus Jensen with an inflation busting 50p piece. Backing ‘no goalscorer’ at Goodison Park can increase the wealth at 8/1.

Kanu believes that praying to a higher power has been a contributory factor towards Portsmouth’s superb start to the season. Unfortunately, my own attempt at prayer proved much less successful; she came home. Fulham have never won at Fratton Park in the Premiership; back Pompey at a tambourine shaking 5/6.

Sheffield United v Bolton looks a tough match to call. The Blades destroyed Newcastle at St James’ last week, but Bolton are a far tougher cookie. I’m edging towards Bolton at 6/4, but only because Diouf is in excellent striking form.

Henri Camara must have a bad back, he’s been carrying Emile Heskey for three months. Camara netted a hat-trick as Wigan destroyed Charlton 3-0 at the JJB last season, he’ll lead a vastly improved Wigan to another three points at 10/11.

Tottenham completed a double over Reading the last time they were in the same league, although the more cynical amongst you may question the relevance of form from the 1930’s. Spurs can land a royal knockout at 13/10.

A defeat at the hands of Southend was not the anniversary present Sir Alex was hoping for; he had his fingers crossed for nose make-up. United will get back on track at Blackburn; they’re a confident call at 8/13.

Rio Ferdinand was sent off in this fixture last season, or as he would put it, he got ‘murked’. Like Rio, I know all the cool slang. Saha’s ‘the blaze’, Scholes is ‘sick’ and Rooney is ‘well phat’. I’m backing Ronaldo at 15/2 to net the opener, it’s totally emu.

This week’s accer is so solid; Paul Gascoigne, Arsene Wenger and El Hadji Diouf have all embraced pacifism as a direct result. Arsenal, Wigan, Portsmouth and an Everton draw are the four beefcakes; the payout is a burly 21/1.


Weekend Betting:

Man City v Newcastle
Saturday 11th November 12:45
Live on Sky

Man City 11/10
Draw 9/4
Newcastle 11/4

Get on: Man City

Match Special:
Samaras to score the first goal 7/1

Chelsea v Watford
Saturday 11th November 15:00

Chelsea 1/6
Draw 6/1
Watford 22/1

Get on: Chelsea

Match Special:
Chelsea to win 3-0 13/2

Everton v Aston Villa
Saturday 11th November 15:00

Everton 11/10
Draw 9/4
Aston Villa 11/4

Get on: Draw

Match Special:
Phil Neville to be booked 5/2

Middlesbrough v West Ham
Saturday 11th November 15:00

Middlesbrough 6/5
Draw 9/4
West Ham 5/2

Get on: West Ham

Match Special:
Harewood to score the only goal of the game 50/1

Portsmouth v Fulham
Saturday 11th November 15:00

Portsmouth 5/6
Draw 23/10
Fulham 7/2

Get on: Portsmouth

Match Special:
Portsmouth to win and keep a clean sheet 19/10

Sheff Utd v Bolton Saturday 11th November 15:00

Sheff Utd 19/10
Draw 9/4
Bolton 6/4

Get on: Bolton

Match Special:
Bolton to win 1-0 7/1

Wigan v Charlton
Saturday 11th November 15:00

Wigan 10/11
Draw 9/4
Charlton 3/1

Get on: Wigan

Match Special:
Camara to score two or more goals 13/2

Blackburn v Man Utd
Saturday 11th November 17:15 Live on Premiership Plus

Blackburn 11/2
Draw 11/4
Man Utd 8/13

Get on: Man Utd

Match Special:
Ronaldo to score direct from a free kick 7/1

Reading v Tottenham
Sunday 12th November 13:30
Live on Sky

Reading 11/5
Draw 9/4
Tottenham 13/10

Get on: Tottenham

Match Special:
Tottenham to score three or more goals 9/2

Arsenal v Liverpool
Sunday 12th November 16:00
Live on Sky

Arsenal 11/10
Draw 9/4
Liverpool 11/4

Get on: Arsenal

Match Special:
Thierry Henry to score two or more goals 9/2

By Gerry McDonnell


Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:J P Fear
Date:Thursday November 9 2006
Time: 10:43AM

Comments

0
Watford 22/1 - gotta be worth a punt after all somebody is gonna beat us one day!
merlin
09/11/2006 14:34:00
0
a brilliant article love the topical humour... very very funny...........
ernshaw
09/11/2006 16:29:00
0
I cannot believe that Watford are at 22/1. That is truly shocking. So here's my tip for you all - have a treble with the other two being Dufermline beating Rangers at Ibrox (12/1) and Queen of the South beating Gretna at Raydale Park (8/1). A £1 stake would win you £2,112 - and more likely than winning the lottery, surely?
DBT Riverside
09/11/2006 19:07:00
0
These articles are one of the highlights of the week. Keep 'em coming.
glensider
18/03/2007 01:20:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

The Decline Of Aston Villa...

A decent two page spread in The Sun today with a few quotes from me. Here was my full answer to their question...

Match Day Officials v Liverpool

The Premier League have now announced the Match Day officials that will take charge of the game against Liverpool this weekend.

The Aston Villa Walking Wounded - Injury Table

Our weekly update looking at the injury table for Aston Villa and also comparing with all our competitors in the Premier League.

Bunn - The Fans Spurred Us On

Goalkeeper and now No 1 Mark Bunn has said he feels the turning point in Villa's season was seeing the fans frustration up front and close in the FA Cup game against...

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Profile
Mike Field
Profile
Steve Wade
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
Profile
Turkish Penguin
Profile
Glensider
Profile
Chris Heath
Profile
M Calucar
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Norwich MotM
Suggested By: Site Staff
Bunn5%
Richards1%
Okore11%
Lescott8%
Cissokho0%
Bacuna0%
Gana32%
Westwood1%
Gil7%
Agbonlahor26%
Veretout8%
Sub - Clark1%
ScoopDragon Premier League Network Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Leicester City 25 15 8 2 53 20
2 Spurs 25 13 9 3 48 26
3 Arsenal 25 14 6 5 48 17
4 Man City 25 14 5 6 47 21
5 Man Utd 25 11 8 6 41 10
6 West Ham 25 10 9 6 39 9
7 Southampton 25 10 7 8 37 9
8 Everton 25 8 11 6 35 12
9 Liverpool 25 9 8 8 35 -4
10 Watford 25 9 6 10 33 0
11 Stoke 25 9 6 10 33 -7
12 Crystal Palace 25 9 5 11 32 -4
13 Chelsea 25 7 9 9 30 -2
14 WBA 25 7 8 10 29 -9
15 AFC Bournemouth 25 7 7 11 28 -12
16 Swansea 25 6 9 10 27 -9
17 Newcastle 25 6 6 13 24 -18
18 Norwich 25 6 5 14 23 -20
19 Sunderland 25 5 5 15 20 -19
20 Aston Villa 25 3 7 15 16 -20
Write for Vital Football
Latest F1 News
F1 set for spending frenzy according to Newey
Latest Vital Boxing News
Mitchell Announces Retirement
The Vital Football Members League

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Feb 14 2016 2:05PM : Liverpool (H)
Barclays Premier League
Feb 27 2016 3:00PM : Stoke City (a)
Barclays Premier League
Mar 1 2016 7:45PM : Everton (H)
Barclays Premier League
Mar 5 2016 3:00PM : Manchester City (a)
Barclays Premier League
Mar 12 2016 3:00PM : Tottenham Hotspur (H)
Barclays Premier League
Mar 19 2016 5:30PM : Swansea City (a)
Barclays Premier League

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.Pride of Lions525
2.The Fear303
3.ClivetheVillan268
4.Fulford251
5.sirdennis178
6.JuanPabloAngel177
7.revdpete166
8.DeanoVilla149
9.Wurzel113
10.He'sBiggerThanMe&You91
Vital Football Comment