Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

Flappy Girth Day To Roo

Flappy Girth Day To Roo

I`m not obsessed with celebrity, but I feel I have a genuine connection with Paul McCartney. Admittedly, I have no musical talent, and i`d happily kill my own mother for a bacon sandwich; but i know what it`s like to get grief from a legless woman.

Coincidentally, Martin Jol has a lot in common with the former Beatle; they`re only successful thanks to Lennon. With young Aaron back to full fitness, Spurs receive a confident nod at 6/5 to leave Watford with three points.

I`ve seen some tough cookies in my time, but I`ve never seen a man bite into a hammer. Sink your teeth into the 6/1 about Jermain Defoe netting the opener.

Chelsea have travelled to Bramall Lane twice before in the Premiership and lost both times. In my opinion, that stat`s about as useful as Titus Bramble. It`s fair to say that the result of the Sheffield United v Chelsea match is a foregone conclusion; Chelsea are stone cold certainties at 4/11.

I tried replicating the match on a computer game last night, but the PC blew up when Shevchenko shared a pitch with Danny Shittu. The Shevvy looks a racing certainty to score at any time at even money.

Jose Mourinho has been accused of not telling the complete truth this week, which is like accusing a bear of being hairy. With Neil Warnock on the scene, there`s as much chance of it going off on the touchline as there is on the pitch, I`d be lying if I said that the 5/2 for a player or manager to be sent off wasn`t appealing.

Jamie Carragher is having sleepless nights as a result of Liverpool`s poor start to the season; i`m also struggling to get my head down at night. Stevie 'overdue a transfer request` Gerrard is apparently unhappy with life under Benitez, the Villa can leave Anfield with a point at 13/5.

Brett Emerton claims that morale at Blackburn is exceptionally high thanks to Robbie Savage's practical jokes. (I particularly like the one where he goes down clutching his face for no apparent reason.) Blackburn will be without the hilarious blonde for the trip to a struggling West Ham; you have to back the Rovers at 9/5.

Arsenal have announced that Cesc Fabregas has signed a new eight year contract; even Jamie Theakston hasn`t been tied up for that long. Everton have been on the end of a few proper spankings at the hands of the Gunners in recent years; Arsenal are the weekend nap at 4/9 to whip them again.

David Moyes would give his right arm to leave the Emirates with a point, but that trade has only ever come off for Heather Mills. The Toffeemen have conceded 26 goals on their last 7 visits to Highbury, a 3-0 win for the Gunners tempts at 9/1.

Man City were absolutely murdered by an average Wigan team last week; Beenie should never have let Pearce pick the team. Ben Thatcher returns to the fold for City, Middlesbrough can snatch a point at a (forearm) smashing 9/4.

Newspapers can often make mistakes. I saw a headline of 'Heskey scores a wonder goal` last weekend; of course it should have read, 'Heskey scores a goal…wonders will never cease`. Fulham v Wigan is a great fixture for trend followers; the team playing at home have won the last eight matches. The Cottagers are over priced at 11/10.

Iain Dowie is like the sun, you should never look directly at him. I`m guessing that the strain must be showing as a result of Charlton`s woeful form, Newcastle are the call at 4/5 to add to Dowie`s season of woe.

Andy Cole has announced that he wishes to be known as 'Andrew` from now on. Andy and Kanu are doing incredibly well for Pompey; I find it incredible that they haven`t had a hip replaced. Portsmouth have an easy looking match on paper at home to Reading; I fancy the draw at 12/5 if played on grass.

Coleen McLoughlin deserves a lot of credit; when faced with the mind-bending question of what do you give a man who has everything; she avoided the easy answer of 'Slim-Fast`. Rooney`s 21st birthday celebrations will not be dampened at the Reebok, Man U will see off the Wanderers at 10/11.

This week`s accer is so cute, Madonna is considering adopting it. Chelsea, Arsenal, Man Utd, Fulham and Tottenham are the selections, the payout is a curvaceous 14/1.

Weekend Betting:

Sheff Utd v Chelsea
Saturday 28th October 12:45
Live on Premiership Plus

Sheff Utd 11/1
Draw 4/1
Chelsea 4/11

Get on: Chelsea

Match Special:
Chelsea to win 2-0 11/2

Arsenal v Everton
Saturday 28th October 15:00

Arsenal 4/9
Draw 10/3
Everton 8/1

Get on: Arsenal

Match Special:
Fabregas to score at any time 7/2

Bolton v Man Utd
Saturday 28th October 15:00

Bolton 7/2
Draw 23/10
Man Utd 10/11

Get on: Man Utd

Match Special:
Scholes to score with a header 7/1

Fulham v Wigan
Saturday 28th October 15:00

Fulham 11/10
Draw 9/4
Wigan 11/4

Get on: Fulham

Match Special:
Fulham to win and keep a clean sheet 12/5

Liverpool v Aston Villa
Saturday 28th October 15:00

Liverpool 8/13
Draw 13/5
Aston Villa 11/2

Get on: Draw

Match Special:
Steven Gerrard to be booked 11/4

Portsmouth v Reading
Saturday 28th October 15:00

Portsmouth 5/6
Draw 12/5
Reading 7/2

Get on: Draw

Match Special:
No goalscorer in the match 17/2

Watford v Tottenham
Saturday 28th October 15:00

Watford 13/5
Draw 23/10
Tottenham 6/5

Get on: Tottenham

Match Special:
Tottenham to score three or more goals 4/1

Newcastle v Charlton
Saturday 28th October 17:15
Live on Premiership Plus

Newcastle 4/5
Draw 12/5
Charlton 7/2

Get on: Newcastle

Match Special:
Duff to score the only goal of the game 50/1

West Ham v Blackburn
Sunday 29th October 16:00
Live on Sky

West Ham 6/4
Draw 9/4
Blackburn 9/5

Get on: Blackburn

Match Special:
McCarthy to score two or more goals 8/1

Man City v Middlesbrough
Monday 30th October 20:00
Live on Sky

Man City 11/8
Draw 9/4
Middlesbrough 2/1

Get on: Draw

Match Special:
Thatcher to be booked 15/8

By Gerry McDonnell


Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:J P Fear
Date:Thursday October 26 2006
Time: 9:55AM

Comments

0
Great article, as amusing as usual, making for a damn good read. More of the same next week please.
glensider
28/03/2007 17:33:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Better De Laet Than Never For Aston Villa?!

It's official, Aston Villa have a new right back.

Hutton Gets Scotland Call

Aston Villa's Alan Hutton has been called up by Scotland manager Gordon Strachan for the coming international break.

Zaha Rumours Off The Mark

I'm not sure which tabloid thought this one up, or what they were on at the point, but Dr Tony Xia has rubbished speculation linking us with Crystal Palace's...

Bacuna Pleased With Derby Showing

Leandro Bacuna has been speaking about Saturday's goalless draw with Derby County at the iPro Stadium and he was pleased with the performance of the side.

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Derby MotM
Suggested By: Site Staff
Gollini7%
Bacuna2%
Elphick41%
Chester5%
Cissokho2%
Ayew4%
Westwood3%
Gardner6%
Grealish22%
Gestede0%
McCormack7%
Sub - Kozak0%
Sub - Amavi0%
Sub - Green1%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Huddersfield 4 3 1 0 10 3
2 Brighton 4 2 2 0 8 6
3 Wolves 4 2 2 0 8 4
4 Norwich 4 2 2 0 8 4
5 Fulham 4 2 2 0 8 2
6 Q.P.R. 4 2 0 2 6 2
7 Newcastle 4 2 0 2 6 2
8 Brentford 4 2 0 2 6 1
9 Barnsley 4 2 0 2 6 0
10 Bristol City 4 2 0 2 6 0
11 Forest 4 2 0 2 6 -2
12 Aston Villa 4 1 2 1 5 2
13 Ipswich 4 1 2 1 5 0
14 Birmingham 4 1 2 1 5 -1
15 Cardiff 4 1 2 1 5 -1
16 Derby County 4 1 2 1 5 -1
17 Wigan 4 1 1 2 4 1
18 Burton 4 1 1 2 4 0
19 Leeds Utd 4 1 1 2 4 -2
20 Sheff Wed 4 1 1 2 4 -3
21 Reading 4 1 1 2 4 -4
22 Rotherham 4 1 1 2 4 -5
23 Preston 4 1 0 3 3 -1
24 Blackburn 4 0 1 3 1 -7
Write for Vital Football
Latest F1 News
Drivers make tyre selections for Belgium
Latest Vital Boxing News
Buatsi Homes in On Olympic Gold
The Vital Football Members League

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.glensider557
2.The Fear544
3.Fulford357
4.Silhillvilla204
5.sirdennis167
6.kefkat158
7.Stephen Jay Hawkings147
8.Melon Donkey146
9.villasince67137
10.Barney2004127
Vital Football Comment