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A Drog With Two Ricks

A Drog With Two Ricks

A Drog with two ricks

Occasionally, a person can become so synonymous with a certain action that the English language will evolve as a result. For example, if the sight of anything Portuguese sends you into a psychotic rage, you`re 'doing a Rooney`, if your alcoholic wife beats you up due to unresolved rage issues, she`s 'knocked out a Gerry`, and if you pay six times over the correct market value for a mediocre footballer, you`ve 'pulled a Fergie`.

We`ve all been had in the net on the odd occasion, but Fergie has bought more turkeys than Sainsbury`s in recent years. Michael Carrick is the latest addition to a list that includes Kleberson, Forlan, Veron and my personal favourite, the Djemba brothers. After blowing an incredible £18.6m on the talented but ultimately limited midfielder, Sir Alex has once again been tucked up like a sleeping baby.

Fulham can continue the theme of stitching up the purple-nosed one. Rooney`s a fitness doubt for the Old Trafford opener; after reading his autobiography, it comes as no surprise that he`s struggling with a groin injury. Fulham scored twice against Man U in both of their meetings last season, 12/1 about a shock is just too big.

If Martin Jol has finished laughing, he`ll take his Tottenham team to a tricky match at the Reebok. Jol has bought and sold exceptionally well in the summer, with Berbatov and Zokora being standout additions to the squad. Zokora believes he can be the 'Vieira of the Lane`; expect him to be completely outplayed by Fabregas when they meet Arsenal. Tottenham are a decent team, but they always struggle against Bolton (they`ve lost six of their last seven league matches); I can`t see past the draw at 9/4.

The Liverpool players will be pleased to hear that Neil Warnock is banned from the touchline when they visit Bramall Lane, although this may not stop Warnock from launching threatening paper aeroplanes from the stand. Liverpool`s reserves saw off a full strength Chelsea last week, their first team receive the nap of the week award at a healthy 4/7.

Wigan manager Paul Jewell is a jovial character, but something tells me he won`t be smiling after his team take a mullering at St James` Park. Wigan faced Newcastle on three occasions last season, the team playing at home won every match. Dull, but true. Wigan have Heskey, Newcastle have the points in the bag at 8/11.

Everton must be backed at 8/13 at home to new boys Watford. The partnership of Beattie and Johnson looks promising; Beattie can win the flick-ons to allow AJ to go down to 'earn` the penalty. Watford have visited Goodison Park on nine previous occasions, they`ve lost every time.

Gareth Southgate has been busy in the transfer market, the signing of Julio Arca for less than £2m looks an inspired piece of business. Reading are nicknamed the Royals, and like their German counterparts in Buckingham Palace, they`ll remain pointless on Saturday night. I do like the Boro at 9/5.

The Villa fans are a lot like me, happiness can be gained from just one little Yank. The Villa have lost at Highbury for the last eight years, it`s a good job this one is being played at the Emirates, they`re unbeaten there. There`s a momentum behind the Villa thanks to the takeover (I was a Randy Lerner once) and the arrival of Martin 'The Saviour` O`Neill; it would be folly to invest in the Gunners at 3/10. A red card in the match is on offer at 7/2; Graeme Poll is 'officiating`, so you`re 50% less likely to collect.

Michael Ballack was substituted after 25 minutes in the Community Shield, I know what it`s like to finish prematurely, it`s no picnic. Four of the previous six matches between Chelsea and Man City have finished 1-0, with Drogba almost certain to squander a couple of chances; a repeat of the 1-0 scoreline at 6/1 looks a decent wager. If Ballack and Shevchenko both start, I`d rather be on a 2-0 stroll for the Champions at a healthy 11/2.

Last week`s accer hit both posts and the bar before being cleared off the line, this week`s will fly straight in the top corner. Liverpool, Everton, Newcastle, Middlesbrough and Chelsea are the chosen ones, the accer will pay out at 14/1 when successful.

The weekend specials:

"Tim'll fix it" - Cahill to score with a header 11/2
"Young a tart" - Luke Young to be booked for diving 16/1
"A bitter Lehmann" - Aston Villa to score a goal Evs
"Duff`ll bag" - Damien Duff to score two or more goals 9/1

The quote of the week:

"What I`m looking for is flexibility."
Steve McClaren knows the score.

The probably misheard quote of the week:

"I`m internally grateful to Steve McClaren."
Dean Ashton desperately wanted that cap.

The lay man:

You`ve got to love the betting exchanges. People are lining up to back Arsenal at 1/3; if you 'lay` that bet, you`re effectively backing either the draw or a Villa win at 3/1. Happy, happy days.

Weekend Betting:

Sheff Utd v Liverpool
Saturday 19th August 12.45 Live on Sky

Sheff Utd 6/1
Draw 14/5
Liverpool 4/7

Arsenal v Aston Villa
Saturday 19th August 15.00

Arsenal 3/10
Draw 7/2
Aston Villa 12/1

Everton v Watford
Saturday 19th August 15.00

Everton 8/13
Draw 5/2
Watford 5/1

Newcastle v Wigan
Saturday 19th August 15.00

Newcastle 8/11
Draw 5/2
Wigan 4/1

Portsmouth v Blackburn
Saturday 19th August 15.00

Portsmouth 6/4
Draw 9/4
Blackburn 21/10

Reading v Middlesbrough
Saturday 19th August 15.00

Reading 6/4
Draw 9/4
Middlesbrough 9/5

West Ham v Charlton
Saturday 19th August 15.00

West Ham 11/10
Draw 9/4
Charlton 3/1

Bolton v Tottenham
Saturday 19th August 17.15
Live on Premiership Plus

Bolton 17/10
Draw 9/4
Tottenham 17/10

Man Utd v Fulham
Sunday 20th August 13.30
Live on Premiership Plus

Man Utd 3/10
Draw 9/2
Fulham 12/1

Chelsea v Man City
Sunday 20th August 16.00
Live on Sky

Chelsea 1/4
Draw 9/2
Man City 12/1

By Gerry McDonnell, aka, 'Rob the Bookie'

Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:J P Fear
Date:Thursday August 17 2006
Time: 1:33PM


Just a brilliant column in my opinion, love it, he really should be signed up and paid (mental note, don't mention pay to him)
The Fear
17/08/2006 13:35:00
And his tips aint too bad either. Got on his last accumulator at 17/1 and it was only Southampton failing to score that let me down. 1 goal away from £100! Gutted.
17/08/2006 13:46:00
I still love this guy to pieces. Gerry you are a star in the making!
17/08/2006 13:55:00
Hmmm...... Take Henry out of the equation, Cesc, Hleb, Cole, Rosicky, Adebayor, Reyes, Persie, Lehmann, Senderos and Silva and there's nothing between us!
17/08/2006 14:32:00
Will Cole or Reyes be playing? As for Adebayor... he looked shocking at the World Cup. Lazy sod makes Carlton Cole look like Pele.
17/08/2006 15:45:00
Very funny article, always read this and never fails to make me laugh. Some good punts in there too.
17/08/2006 19:21:00
If the guys as quick with his verbals as he is funny with his writings then he should be on the stage. Thoroughly entertaining wit at its very best.
17/08/2006 20:54:00
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