Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

Don't you, forget about Lee!

Don't you, forget about Lee!


I am not an unsympathetic person. When the wife enquired if she’d recently added a little weight, I compassionately replied, “No, you’ve always been quite fat.” However, when it comes to the tribulations of Stan Collymore and Paul Merson, my sympathy is in short supply. Admittedly, i’m not a qualified medical expert, but a fondness for lager is a trait that should be encouraged, gambling large sums of money is undoubtedly more of a pleasure than a chore, while a case of depression could easily be cured by simply cheering up a little. I, on the other hand, have a genuine problem; my name is Gerry, and I watch Big Brother.

I’m at a loss to explain why such a stigma is attached to watching a television programme; but like Rosa Parks before me, I intend to blaze a trail to help end the ongoing victimisation of Big Brother viewers. The key to tolerance is an understanding of the subject; the following facts will not only allow you to welcome BB watchers back into the bosom of a united society, but to also show a healthy profit from the bookmakers.

At this early stage, I’d be looking to back Mikey. His audition tapes did make him appear to be something of a chauvinist, (I have no time for this outdated ‘women should be in the kitchen’ nonsense, what about the bathroom? it doesn’t clean itself.) but his good looks and pleasant banter make the 17/1 on offer at Betfair quite tempting.

Novelty act Pete is currently all the rage, people are trying to back him on the exchanges at a ridiculously short 6/4. If you ‘lay’ this bet, you’re effectively betting that any of the 12 other housemates, or any of the four other contestants that are due in to the house will win at 4/6. Pete may well be a huge Simple Minds fan, but the fact that he’s always referring to Jim Kerr’s brother (Juan) is really beginning to grate. Laying the 6/4 may well be the best investment in the history of gambling.

If a sport is televised, and I can bet on it, then I’ll watch it. There is one exception to that rule, and that’s Formula 1. I can watch the beginning of the race until the cars round the first corner with genuine enthusiasm; unfortunately, after this point it becomes duller than a monologue from the old man about how everything was better in the old days, or hanging, or whatever it is he babbles on about.

Being a genuine innovator, I’ve suggested that as the 1st lap draws to a close, the drivers then line up again from their new positions, and start all over again. Repeat this 20 times and you have a sure-fire ratings winner. I actually emailed this suggestion to the vertically challenged Formula 1 supremo Bernie Ecclestone; I fear it went straight over his head.

Fernando Alonso already has one hand on the drivers championship, take the 13/8 on offer from Ladbrokes about a Spanish stroll through the streets of Monaco.

If the thought of betting on reality TV or street racing does not appeal, there’s still a couple of football matches to take an interest in. The penultimate game of the season will see Swansea battle Barnsley for a place in the Championship and the Swans receive a confident nod at 6/4 to win in 90 minutes. Lee Trundle has played a starring role in recent years, but if the Swansea management can find a reinforced bench, there’s every chance that the Scouse superstar will be named as a substitute. Leon Knight has been preferred to Trundle in recent weeks and has banged in five goals in three games, it’ll be a cracking Knight for us all if we get on Leon at 6/1 to bag the opener.

Grimsby face Cheltenham in Sunday’s league 2 finale as we wave a tearful goodbye to the domestic football season. Grimsby have been boosted by the news that top goalscorer Gary Jones can play after a successful appeal against a red card, he’s worth a nibble at 6/4 to score at anytime. The Mariners have dominated the Robins in the regular season, winning both games convincingly without conceding. Grimsby are worth a bet at 10/11 to win promotion; unfortunately, you can’t back them to plaice. Apologies.


Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:J P Fear
Date:Thursday May 25 2006
Time: 10:56AM

Login to post a comment

Best of Vital Network

Vital Boxing - Bellew Lets Rip at Haye

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Lansbury - We're Working Hard

January signing Henri Lansbury has said that the players have been working hard to turn around our form following victory over Derby County at the weekend.

Chester In Team Of The Week (28/2/17)

Aston Villa are represented in the latest Football League team of the week that has been selected after this week's action.

The Villa Times - 27/02/2017 (Aston Villa News Round-up)

The latest Aston Villa news and views from the uno fish ial one..

Vital Villa Man Of The Match v Newcastle/Derby County

Man of the match results for Newcastle and Derby games.

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Aston Villa v Bristol City will:
Suggested By: Mystic Mug
Win65%
Lose21%
Draw14%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Brighton 33 21 8 4 71 31
2 Newcastle 33 22 4 7 70 37
3 Huddersfield 33 20 5 8 65 8
4 Leeds Utd 34 19 4 11 61 12
5 Reading 34 18 6 10 60 2
6 Sheff Wed 34 17 7 10 58 9
7 Fulham 33 14 11 8 53 17
8 Norwich 34 15 7 12 52 11
9 Preston 34 14 10 10 52 5
10 Barnsley 34 14 8 12 50 4
11 Derby County 33 13 9 11 48 6
12 Cardiff 34 13 7 14 46 -2
13 Brentford 33 12 7 14 43 2
14 Birmingham 34 11 10 13 43 -13
15 Ipswich 34 10 12 12 42 -7
16 Q.P.R. 34 11 7 16 40 -11
17 Aston Villa 33 9 12 12 39 -7
18 Forest 34 10 7 17 37 -12
19 Burton 34 9 9 16 36 -13
20 Wolves 32 9 8 15 35 -5
21 Bristol City 33 9 6 18 33 -6
22 Wigan 34 7 10 17 31 -10
23 Blackburn 32 7 9 16 30 -13
24 Rotherham 34 4 5 25 17 -45
The Vital Football Members League
Latest F1 News
Alonso held talks with Mercedes
Latest Vital Boxing News
WBC Want Wilder v Stiverne II
Vital Football Comment

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Feb 28 2017 7:45PM : Bristol City (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Mar 4 2017 3:00PM : Rotherham United (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Mar 7 2017 7:45PM : Huddersfield Town (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Mar 11 2017 3:00PM : Sheffield Wednesday (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Mar 18 2017 3:00PM : Wigan Athletic (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Apr 1 2017 3:00PM : Norwich City (H)
Sky Bet Championship

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.The Fear475
2.JuanPabloAngel408
3.sirdennis384
4.Silhillvilla258
5.Fulford230
6.Melon Donkey223
7.villasince67205
8.Villan57171
9.McParlandTheGreat162
10.kefkat158
Write for Vital Football