Vital Football

Latest Aston Villa News

Don't you, forget about Lee!

Don't you, forget about Lee!


I am not an unsympathetic person. When the wife enquired if she’d recently added a little weight, I compassionately replied, “No, you’ve always been quite fat.” However, when it comes to the tribulations of Stan Collymore and Paul Merson, my sympathy is in short supply. Admittedly, i’m not a qualified medical expert, but a fondness for lager is a trait that should be encouraged, gambling large sums of money is undoubtedly more of a pleasure than a chore, while a case of depression could easily be cured by simply cheering up a little. I, on the other hand, have a genuine problem; my name is Gerry, and I watch Big Brother.

I’m at a loss to explain why such a stigma is attached to watching a television programme; but like Rosa Parks before me, I intend to blaze a trail to help end the ongoing victimisation of Big Brother viewers. The key to tolerance is an understanding of the subject; the following facts will not only allow you to welcome BB watchers back into the bosom of a united society, but to also show a healthy profit from the bookmakers.

At this early stage, I’d be looking to back Mikey. His audition tapes did make him appear to be something of a chauvinist, (I have no time for this outdated ‘women should be in the kitchen’ nonsense, what about the bathroom? it doesn’t clean itself.) but his good looks and pleasant banter make the 17/1 on offer at Betfair quite tempting.

Novelty act Pete is currently all the rage, people are trying to back him on the exchanges at a ridiculously short 6/4. If you ‘lay’ this bet, you’re effectively betting that any of the 12 other housemates, or any of the four other contestants that are due in to the house will win at 4/6. Pete may well be a huge Simple Minds fan, but the fact that he’s always referring to Jim Kerr’s brother (Juan) is really beginning to grate. Laying the 6/4 may well be the best investment in the history of gambling.

If a sport is televised, and I can bet on it, then I’ll watch it. There is one exception to that rule, and that’s Formula 1. I can watch the beginning of the race until the cars round the first corner with genuine enthusiasm; unfortunately, after this point it becomes duller than a monologue from the old man about how everything was better in the old days, or hanging, or whatever it is he babbles on about.

Being a genuine innovator, I’ve suggested that as the 1st lap draws to a close, the drivers then line up again from their new positions, and start all over again. Repeat this 20 times and you have a sure-fire ratings winner. I actually emailed this suggestion to the vertically challenged Formula 1 supremo Bernie Ecclestone; I fear it went straight over his head.

Fernando Alonso already has one hand on the drivers championship, take the 13/8 on offer from Ladbrokes about a Spanish stroll through the streets of Monaco.

If the thought of betting on reality TV or street racing does not appeal, there’s still a couple of football matches to take an interest in. The penultimate game of the season will see Swansea battle Barnsley for a place in the Championship and the Swans receive a confident nod at 6/4 to win in 90 minutes. Lee Trundle has played a starring role in recent years, but if the Swansea management can find a reinforced bench, there’s every chance that the Scouse superstar will be named as a substitute. Leon Knight has been preferred to Trundle in recent weeks and has banged in five goals in three games, it’ll be a cracking Knight for us all if we get on Leon at 6/1 to bag the opener.

Grimsby face Cheltenham in Sunday’s league 2 finale as we wave a tearful goodbye to the domestic football season. Grimsby have been boosted by the news that top goalscorer Gary Jones can play after a successful appeal against a red card, he’s worth a nibble at 6/4 to score at anytime. The Mariners have dominated the Robins in the regular season, winning both games convincingly without conceding. Grimsby are worth a bet at 10/11 to win promotion; unfortunately, you can’t back them to plaice. Apologies.

Win FREE pizza with Vital Football!
Select your team and get 50% off if they score twice.
www.papajohns.co.uk/football


Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:J P Fear
Date:Thursday May 25 2006
Time: 10:56AM

Login to post a comment

Recent Aston Villa Articles

Who Will Aston Villa Face In 2016/17 (30/5/16)

All promotions and relegations for the season of 2015/16 have been confirmed, so the full make up of the Championship for 2016/17 is now known.

Nigel Pearson NOT Aston Villa Bound - Rammed

Phew (for me) and doh (for others!) Nigel Pearson has gone to Derby County

Di Matteo Appointment Close

Late yesterday evening it was reported that further talks between Chairman Steve Hollis and Roberto Di Matteo had taken place...

No Villa Regrets For Amavi

French Left back Jordan Amavi has said he has no regrets about joining Aston Villa last summer, and he's pretty down to earth when it comes to his thoughts...

Archived Vital Villa Articles

Vital Villa articles from

Site Journalists

J P Fear
Editor email
Profile
Mike Field
Editor email
Profile
Steve Wade
no email
Profile
Villa_Grizzly
no email
Profile
Turkish Penguin
no email
Profile
Glensider
no email
Profile
Chris Heath
no email
Profile
M Calucar
no email
Profile
JuanPablo Angel
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Roberto Di Matteo would be:
Suggested By: JP Fear
A great appointment29%
A good appointment but I'd prefer a.n.other40%
An average appointment16%
No thanks appointment!15%
ScoopDragon Premier League Network Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
C Leicester City 38 23 12 3 81 32
2 Arsenal 38 20 11 7 71 29
3 Spurs 38 19 13 6 70 34
4 Man City 38 19 9 10 66 30
5 Man Utd 38 19 9 10 66 14
6 Southampton 38 18 9 11 63 18
7 West Ham 38 16 14 8 62 14
8 Liverpool 38 16 12 10 60 13
9 Stoke 38 14 9 15 51 -14
10 Chelsea 38 12 14 12 50 6
11 Everton 38 11 14 13 47 4
12 Swansea 38 12 11 15 47 -10
13 Watford 38 12 9 17 45 -10
14 WBA 38 10 13 15 43 -14
15 Crystal Palace 38 11 9 18 42 -12
16 AFC Bournemouth 38 11 9 18 42 -22
17 Sunderland 38 9 12 17 39 -14
R Newcastle 38 9 10 19 37 -21
R Norwich 38 9 7 22 34 -28
R Aston Villa 38 3 8 27 17 -49
Vital Football Comment
Latest F1 News
Ricciardo screwed for second week running
Latest Vital Boxing News
Price Wins by Second Round Knockout
Write for Vital Football

Recent Aston Villa Results (view all)

Aston Villa Fixtures (view all)

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.Pride of Lions903
2.The Fear541
3.kefkat359
4.sirdennis304
5.Fulford273
6.Lerner Out!250
7.JuanPabloAngel228
8.glensider205
9.Silhillvilla185
10.DeanoVilla181
The Vital Football Members League